My GPS Hates Me

One of my favourite toys is the GPS navigation thingie I got with my car. There are two main reasons I like it – obviously it helps me get places when I don’t know the right way to go. But my second favourite thing is taunting it when I do know the right way to go.

It has this neutral female voice that gives directions without any emotion or inflexion but I can’t help thinking that when I don’t take its advice it gets a bit narky at me. Maybe it’s my imagination but I feel a bit of an edge in its electronic voice when it says “route recaculation u-turn”. It seems to me, the unspoken part of that direction is “listen to me the next time you moron.”

I am quite convinced my GPS thinks its brain its more advanced than mine and it’s a waste of its talents to tell this talking monkey directions… So my little revenge is to tweak it by occasionally ignoring its direction and choosing my own route.

I have a definite image of the GPS in my mind when it talks to me. It looks very much like “Supernanny” on TV – very prim, hair tied back in a tight bun and wearing a black power suit. And it sooooo doesn’t like me. Hah! Damn GPS thinks it is so superior but it isn’t so great. Because of some glitch in its numbering for my street it doesn’t even know where my home is! I have to tell it the side street next to my place so it goes in the right direction.

I pity the fool machine that thinks it’s better than me!

Oh, and what did I get angry about today? Pedestrians. Knuckleheads who apparently think stepping in front of a tonne of moving metal is a good idea. Hey Einstein: you wanna commit suicide? Stay at home and drink some drano. Don’t involve me in your pathetic lives.

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Filed under Driving

4 responses to “My GPS Hates Me

  1. Hahaha! Do you know what, I’m taking driving lessons (finally) and it amazes me that ppl will just walk out infront of my car. Hello, I have L PLATES! Not even P. Do you WANT me to run you and that kid in the pram over?? And then it’ll be my fault??? Gosh!

  2. oh! i thought of something else. The GPS voice, why isn’t it a male voice? I’ve always thought about that.

  3. I agree Maryam, that level of stupidity can’t be accidental. They’re trying to rope us into an assisted suicide. Go talk to to Dr Kervorkian if you don’t have the guts to do it yourself, I say!

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