What the *bleep* are these hippies on?

Don't worry dear readers, I'm not suddenly getting coy on the language front. Fuck no. Just echoing my target for today. It's a literary device – you see, I'm erudite as well as psychotically angry. Okay, time to focus.

I haven't attacked the hippies for a couple of days so I decided to read their propaganda rag again to get fired up. The article that caught my eye this time was titled "What the bleep are ice crystals?" which they take from the title of a recent movie: "What the bleep do we know?" The film basically talks to people about "scientific" theories. I put the word scientific in quotes because a lot in the movie doesn't really match the mainstream definition of science. Even the more orthodox stuff is on the fringes of science but a lot of the stuff they go on about is plain fucking stupid.

And, surprise, surprise, the hippies decide to go with one of the really fucking stupid concepts. Ice crystals. It sounds innocent enough but I don't have to read far before I want to find a hippie head to kick. You see, apparently "water refects consciousness" or, if you prefer, "like a blank CD, water records information". And they have photos that "prove" it. There certainly is a nice array of pictures if ice crystal. I'm not exactly sure how providing a series of images "proves" anything but it seems rational questioning is not the strong suit of these hippies.

I'm not even talking issues of photoshop manipulation here – they simply put up a series of photos and say this is an ice crystal that has been "exposed" to a particular word; love, hate, angel, devil, "do it"… I could put up a series of photos of plants in various states of health and say one was told "I love you", one was told "I hate you" and one was told "George Bush is actually quite intelligent and deserving of our admiration and in fact the citizens of the world have just voted him "Emperor of the world in perpetuity" (that one would have committed suicide).

Saying something doesn't make it so. And photographs don't prove a damn thing. Possibly the stupidest cliche in existence is "the camera doesn't lie". Cameras lie by definition – they produce a fake representation of a real thing. Somewhat like these hippies.

And in case you think I'm being too harsh on them, they go on to christen this phenomenon "hado" – Japanese word meaning vibration. That seems innocuous enough, but then they go straight on to say that hado "is fast becoming the new word for the 'force' popularised by the Jedi knights of Star Wars". Okaaaaay, you guys know Star Wars was science fiction right, not science? That's right, these moronic hippies bolster their claims by tying them to a fictional story.

What the fuck?

Oh, and their world expert on the topic is "Dr Emoto". Yes, their expert on emotional resonance is Dr Emoto and their expert on love has the surname "Love". Do they think they're being funny or are they deliberately insulting our intelligence?

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Filed under Hippies, Science

12 responses to “What the *bleep* are these hippies on?

  1. oh man. i want one of them hippies on here to rebut your claims. and i use the term loosely.

    i was discussing idiocy wit a good friend when the topic of Jedi came up. she reckons there are 18 Jedis in Oz, like its an actual religion practiced by real people. (i know i know, how many things can you put in quotation marks in that sentence!)

    re the camera comment. you’re so right. i can’t look smashing in the mirror and demented in a picture. there’s got to be something wrong there. videos are somewhat a different story.

  2. Hell Boy

    Really Harsh & Unfair!
    Photoshop manipulation, wow you’re expecting those poor hippie more than they can. you better give ‘em some advice & support! hihihi

  3. I think I'm too angry for the hippies to be interested Maryam – they're all about peace and love. And fleecing gullible people with their sham "therapies". And so far as cameras go – a still camera freezes a 2d version of us and our eyes simply don't see that way. A video camera at least captures a constantly changing image, which is a lot closer to reality. That's why video images are more likely to be a good approximation of what we look like than a still shot.
    Yo Hellboy – don't think the hippies would want my advice. And only the most flexible yoga practicioners would be able to do what I'd suggest…

  4. Salaamat Mr. Angry,
    I like hippies! They give me warm, mushy feelings of idealism…at least they try to put up some form of resistance to “the man” :p although i don’t know if aussie hippies are similar to ones we have here…the ones we breed tend to equate showers and deodrants to oppressive tools invented by “the man” to keep the people down. or something like that.

    anywho, the best piece of “science” i have seen is the famous “pet psychiatrist”. Yes, you heard it! she sits with the dog, cat, parrot etc; “listens” to them, and then makes proclamations such as “this cat is actually gay! and would like another male companion to keep him company?!” poor cat, he has been cheated out of a good booty call:p

    ps: i know i am rambling way off course…but oh well. you can alwayz delete me:p

  5. Hi Maliha! It's the hypocritical ones I can't stand. And the ones responsible for this magazine and upcoming "expo" are just exploiting people's hopes/fears/desperation for commercial gain. And I love your pet psychic – I could do that. I'd actually love to tell someone I read their pet's mind and say "Your pet hates you, it's going to kill you in your sleep."

    And I'd never delete you, I have too much respect for your writing.

  6. Can you imagine, the Pet Psychiatrist sitting with my parents breaking the news to them about our lovely Neo (short hair persian).

    Psych: “Mr Khan, I’m afraid your cat’s gay”
    Mr. Khan: “What? What the hell did you say? Get out of my house! My cat’s not of the gay! Lady you gonna get a hurt real bad!”

    If anyone’s familiar with Russel Peter’s mimicking of his father, you’ll know exactly how that sounds :)

    oh and! My you look Angry in your photo! Love the heat effect on that pic :)

  7. Jason

    Aww come on mate! You didn’t get the point of “What the bleep do we know?” It’s all about perception and how that alters our reality.

    You need to relax with a good spilff. Don’t they have some in Melbourne or is it all smack all the time?

    Shit, are you gettin laid? what happened to that girl you met last year? ;-)

  8. Glad you like the pic Maryam – and I didn't even use any effects on the image. That's just how I photograph.

    And Jason, I won't speak for the filmmakers' motivations but I am quite convinced the hippies who put out the magazine I'm reading have one motivation – money and how to extract it from gullible individuals.

  9. Hippies smell. Well, the real ones in Austin do at least.

  10. I think that's mandatory for entry to the hippie drumming circle.

  11. What does positive energy do ? Isn’t love the greatest thing ? Let’s just love the hippies ;)

  12. Yes, let’s love them to death.

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