Not Without My Foreskin

Where do my blog ideas come from? Sometimes from the most innocent of beginnings – I'm sure some of the people involved in conversations with me would be mortified at the blog postings that come out of my casual chats. Last weekend was no exception. A perfectly normal conversation that somehow got around to circumcision that made me exclaim "Oh my god, do you know there are losers out there who obsess so much about being circumcised that they go to a huge amount of trouble to 'reclaim their foreskin'?" Nobody else had heard of this or was interested in discussing it further.

A blog post is born.

It strikes me as absurd and perhaps more than a little sick, that in a world so full of problems and injustice, some men can treat the fact they were circumcised as one of the biggest travesties of modern life. Hey guys, you're free to wish it had never happened to you, your free to pursue your weird foreskin-extension programme, but don't you think you should get a bit of fucking perspective?

I will go on record as saying circumcision is unnecessary. I don't think anyone's built a compelling case for a medical need or even significant benefit for circumcision. Some people have tried – Dr John Harvey Kellog (yes, the cornflakes inventor) proclaimed: "The remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision." Yeah, nice one Dr K. I'm circumcised and, not that I'm of the opinion that masturbation needs to be "cured", I can safely assure the good doctor that he was off the mark with that idea.

Actually, the best pro-circumcision argument I've ever heard comes from gay sex-advice columnist Dan Savage who says, gay or straight, circumcised boys will get more blowjobs. The line forms over there fellahs.

So it's perfectly possible to mount a good case that circumcision is unnecessary. I just think you're undermining your case when you say things like "these doctors… have blood on their hands from torturing and mutilating thousands of baby boys." Oh, and forming associations like the International Coalition for Genital Integrity, the National Organisation to Halt Abuse and Routine Mutilation of Males (NOHARMM) and Brothers United For Foreskin (BUFF) might make you feel important, but to rational people it makes you look like a dork.

And the solution these obsessive types have is sometimes surgical but most often a stretching regimen that last for a year or two. Then these lucky men are "re-uncircumcised". I might be overly suspicious but after doing research on the web sites for these "fauxskin" evangelists, I got the creepy feeling this was just a bunch of guys who wanted to stretch and contort their dicks and are dressing this fetish up as a noble cause.

I'm sure these foreskin evangelists will say that I, as a circumcised male who doesn't give a shit, am in denial. But excuse me if there's a few injustices I want to sort out before I bother with "the crime of circumcision".

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24 Comments

Filed under General Angriness

24 responses to “Not Without My Foreskin

  1. OMFG – foreskin extension program?!? You have got to be shitting me. And I worried about a little thing like…..cancer…..shit! Stay in denial, Mr. Angry!!!

  2. Salaamat,
    Now I am sure i have heard it all!

    wow…

    that extension thing sounds really painful. good choice on the denial bit.

  3. I also find it amusing that these goons bemoan the “loss of sensitivity” that circumcision causes. Call me crazy but I have a suspicion their partner may actually benefit from some reduced sensitivity that ummmm… delays the final act.

    I’m staying proudly in denial.

  4. Charles II

    All I can add is that my brother and cousin and me all hated our foreskins with a passion, and were determined to be rid of them one way or another. We didn’t even know what circumcision was, and felt no place to turn with our confusion over the difference between us and all the other boys. So we did the only thing we could, and what we stupidly thought the others did. We trained our foreskins to stay retracted.
    It is easy for some, hard for others, and maybe impossible for some, depending on age and development and other things. But we feel we solved our problem, and are happy with the result. After almost a dozen years with – and as many “without” – a foreskin, I can only recommend it emphatically.
    If little boys are going to be left uncircumcised, for whatever reason, they should be taught that there is a reasonable alternative to either extreme decision on this matter. They should be encouraged to keep their skins retracted until they are old enough (some time between starting school and about age of puberty, perhaps) to decide then if they need or want to get cut. In the meantime, they can avoid all the problems that uncut boys often have, and enjoy all the benefits that cut boys have. Hey, they may even be able to avoid having to get circumcised at all. We did.
    Years later, we found that there are more guys just like us, all unwittingly fooling each other along with the cut guys in the restrooms, lockerrooms, showers, swimming holes, camps and other places where guys shed their clothing together. Most of us have fooled all the girls, and one of our friends even had his doctor fooled.

  5. Charles: Thanks for the alternative view. Sounds like a rational choice – it’s interesting that you came up with it on your own. I have to admit though, the phrase “trained foreskins” made me think of a circus act – may a spinoff for for “Puppetry of the Penis”

  6. Nico

    Very interesting how the subject of foreskins or circumcision makes american people so awkward…what are they trying to ‘cut off’ when they…cut it off…
    Strange culture where sexuality is repressed and one has to be as ‘smooth’ as possible to blend in the culture…
    Oh by the way, foreskins are sold to bio-engineering companies…Brrr, I’m glad I wasn’t born in the states!Poor babies…
    By the way Mr Angry, any idea where you anger comes from?
    A traumatic childhood memory? :)

  7. Nico: where does my anger come from? look around you, the world is full of things that drive me absolutely NUTS!

  8. Paul

    I don’t believe that anything around you “drives you nuts”. Feelings are generated internally. If something triggers uncomfortable feelings, it means you have some needs that are not being met, and that you may be able to take some action to meet them. For more on this radical perspective, please see this link:

    [EDITOR'S NOTE: link deleted because, well, fuck this guy]

    Now, for some perspective.

    I personally know a woman who herself lost her clitoris and clitoral hood to American doctors. This was fairly common, not so many years ago. If she could get even part of it back, would she be “sick”?

    She has written a book about her experiences, called “The Rape of Innocence” available from Amazon.com . She certainly does not think foreskin restoration is “sick”, in fact she is a tireless supporter of men who choose it.

    If she is not angry with men who simply want to get back some lost sexual function, why are you? Could it be that you want to believe that you haven’t lost anything by being circumcised? And people restoring themselves, and experiencing greater sexual function because of it, makes it harder to maintain this belief?

  9. Dude, you’re freaking me out. I don’t know if you truly believe the unmitigated bullshit you go on with in your comment or if you’re just shamelessly spamming a website. Besides the fact their is no logical connection between female genital mutilation and male circumcision, besides the fact your statement that the practice “was fairly common” is a complete fucking lie… have you heard of the concept of a joke you fucking lunatic?

  10. Mr. Angry
    thank you! I needed that laugh. I do mean to tell you. I laugh so loudly my roommate (male, most likely a cut male) came to the door to see what I was laughing about. I shall forward this to him. This is hilarious.

    If someone couldn’t see the humor in that post they’re blind. And how they got from this to female mutilation is beyond me. I didn’t see any social commentary in that post, I saw the “normal” writings of Mr. Angry. But I use the word “normal” loosely. But then you know, we must all have a cause and it seems his is misguided, on this blog entry anyway.

    Yes, mutilation of women and men is wrong but male circumcision is not done for the same vile oppressive reason nor does it PREVENT sexual enjoyment or orgasm. And it is not based on a belief system about “what” men are whereas female mutilation is based on “what” women are. Female mutilation is intended to remove sexual enjoyment for the female so she doesn’t go seek it out and ruin the families honor or tempt honorable men. There is no such goal or ideation behind male circumcision. Female mutilation is done to keep her under control. There is no health reason, they don’t even act like there is. In the States I believe it is more of custom to circumcise the male than anything else but that custom has nothing to do with control and it is done in sterile conditions and is NOT butchery with glass or clay or some sharp object as they hold down a screaming young girl coming into puberty.

    But anyway, it is clear to me that your post has nothing to do with either issue. I would like to say that if the goal is to stop female mutilation then I’m all for that. I back that strongly. Stopping genital mutilation of women is a profoundly valid cause but that cause has to be offered in a relevant environment.

    Austin

  11. Nicely put Austin, and I think you have measured the purpose of my writings quite accurately. As you say, normal is relative.

  12. ivan the terrible

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much. At least these guys are obsessing about their OWN foreskins, and more or less keeping it private. Dude, you are freaking out on what’s between everybody else’s legs! Talk about hypocritical …

  13. brendon

    look imma say one thing…you do or you dont….guys shuldent be worried about how theyr inis looks because you wants to trust yourself with someone you love and if they love you they will understand.just forget about the other eole you dont have to fuck them so what are you worried about do what you want not what everybodey els wants

  14. mikeg

    I got circumcised when I was 12 or 13 I think, so I remember what it was like to have a foreskin. The foreskin evangelists are right, something like 60-70% of the sensation is gone. It is a whole world of sensations that those without foreskins don’t even get to experience.

    No wonder the gay god Jehovah loves to collect them foreskins…

  15. Chrisso

    “Actually, the best pro-circumcision argument I’ve ever heard comes from gay sex-advice columnist Dan Savage who says, gay or straight, circumcised boys will get more blowjobs. The line forms over there fellahs.”

    We circumcised may be ‘missing out’ on something, but I knew there was some form of compo :P…

  16. custador

    My dad was circumcised late in life after a zipper related injury, and always swore blind that sex wasn’t nearly as good afterwards because he lost so much sensation in his bell-end, as well as the sensitive tissue which makes up the foreskin itself, of course. Biologically, that’s what your foreskin does; it protects sensitive membranes and stops them being de-sensitized. Personally, I’m all for outright banning circumcision as a form of child abuse!

  17. Mikeg: As I mused in the post – I think a lot of women would appreciate the fact men are getting less sensation

    Chrisso: I’ll take extra blowjobs over a foreskin any day

    Custador: I’m not sure a “zipper related accident” counts as a circumcision!

  18. josh

    “…excuse me if there’s a few injustices I want to sort out before I bother with “the crime of circumcision”.

    Sexuality and relationships are among the most important issues in (most) men’s lives — I’d even say it’s likely at the TOP of the list of important issues. Why shouldn’t men (and all civilized, thinking people) consider permanently altering a healthy baby and future adult man’s genitals without his consent to be an important issue? To the contrary, maybe this is one of the FIRST issues we should deal with if we want a healthy, civilized society. Clearly, nobody can deny the amount of anger and resentment this practice has generated among many men (to whom this was done as helpless infants) who DO view this as a HUGE injustice. (By the way, you sound like you really have NO idea how the natural, healthy anatomy is supposed to function, nor the extent of what is lost forever). So, instead of being so smug and dismissive in second guessing how others should feel about an injustice that was done to them against their will, how about a little humility and compassion in trying to relate to where others are coming from?

  19. Fuck off you pathetic, self indigent, self obsessed WANKER!

  20. josh

    Wow, you really do have nothing to say. I was being polite, but I found your opening post to be just a rather lame rant that didn’t really say much of anything on this subject- though I didn’t realize just how lame and pointless you in fact were. I still recommend you inform yourself on this topic (painful as that may be since it might lead to you realizing you were harmed as well) and in the meantime not projecting what is in reality your own internal nastiness onto others.

  21. You’re a self obsessed worthless piece of shit like every fucking moron who pretends this issue is actually important. Fuck off you fucking loser.

  22. Collin

    I have to say, I am somewhat sad I was circumcised at birth. I’m kind of jealous of my friends who weren’t and the fun they can have with their foreskins. But I totally agree with you: big fucking deal. Yeah, I won’t be able to stretch the skin, and feel tons of sensitivity, but it’s not like sex isn’t good, it’s not like women care. It’s still a fully functional penis, regardless of what people say. Like Lincoln thought about slavery, I think about circumcision: it’ll die a slow, natural death. Until then, to everyone who thinks they were “mutilated”–you weren’t. Deal.

    Though I have to say Mr. Angry, you do seem a bit…well, a bit too angry haha. Regardless, I agree completely, and have never found a perspective such as yours so totally accurate.

  23. This made me LOL :-D

  24. That was the plan, Curt :)

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