Stephen Colbert Nude Sex Teen Orgy

I was reading Mutant Cat's blog and decided I could one-up her on the attention grabbing post title.

So aside from silly search engine manipulation games, I wanted to alienate some readers today.  Well, actually I don't really want to alienate readers but I suspect my angry rant today can't help but put some people offside.  The reason is statistically, it's a safe bet that at least 25% of people reading this blog are smokers and there's no nice way to say this: smoking is really fucking stupid.

I recognise that the previous sentence is technically inaccurate: there are potentially many nice ways to say smoking is stupid.  Fucked if I can be bothered coming up with one though.

Smoking is expensing, stinky, disgusting, insulting and offensive to people around you, destroys your quality of life and ENDS UP FUCKING KILLING YOU!  Usually in a slow, painful, disgusting manner.  There is no rational defence to smoking.  It isn't a personal choice that you should have the right to.  Unless you want to limit your smoking to a closed room somewhere AND NEVER FUCKING DO IT IN PUBLIC WHERE I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT!  Seriously, if you want to assert your right to smoke do it in your own home and don't interfere with my fucking right to breathe!

And fuck the idea of smokers' rights!  What about axe murderer's rights?  Axe murderers kill way less people than smoking (like, several million less) but the law is all over axe murderers.  The best I can hope is that bans on smoking in public places continue to spread.  Count yourself lucky smokers, axe murderers aren't even able to indulge in the privacy of their own homes without "the man" getting all up in their face.

The only downside to banning smoking in public is that prohibition gives it an aura of rebellion.  To really fucking stupid people.  I might add that these stupid people are often very intelligent in almost every other aspect of their life but they make this one really dumb choice.  I remember a quote from Timothy Leary where he said something along the lines that when he was once told it was illegal to smoke in an airport, he blew smoke in the person's face saying he was "proud to be a criminal".  And if I'd been there I would've been proud to smack him in the fucking mouth for saying something so irredeemably stupid.

If you want to make me really angry, proclaim that you're a radical lefty while smoking.  Yeah right, you're radical.  While supporting some of the biggest most corrupt corporations on the planet who kill people with their lies, coerce third world farmers into growing the cash crop of tobacco rather than food that might actually keep people alive and refuse to accept their moral responsibility for marketing a product whose sole side effect is death.  There is no safe level of smoking.

The only justification I'll listen to from a smoker is "I got suckered into smoking and now I'm hopelessly addicted to this disgusting habit and I'm incapable of giving up."  Anything else is bullshit.  And the only justification I'll accept from someone who insists on screwing up public spaces with smoking is "This is a suicide attempt – I want you to strangle me."

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13 Comments

Filed under Colbert, General Angriness

13 responses to “Stephen Colbert Nude Sex Teen Orgy

  1. Salamaat,
    one of my best friends is med school…and when they were learning about lungs/smoking etc the prof. paused to ask how many of the students smoked: it turned out that 2/3 of her med school class was smoking (including herself).

    i thought it was appalling. apparently so did the prof. who made them do some extra work to justify their presence at the med school. I wouldda failed them all:p

    i tried smoking a couple of times, when i was younger and stupid-er, but i could never get the hang of it (thank God)…

    ah well…to each his/her own.

  2. Mom

    Nicotine is just as addictive as heroin and cocaine. I have started and stopped smoking so many times I’ve lost count! I 100% agree with your post. Now I’ll go stangle myself…..

  3. Sorry about the Mom thing ^.

  4. Mommy? Don’t go away mommy…

  5. You are a funny schitt!

  6. Hi there
    It seems that I finally found someone funny around here.
    I agree with you, the smoking things, etc.
    I’m French (check it up on my blog), and in France, smokers are still polluting my air in bars, restaurants,… any public places.
    And with our “Sécurité Sociale” system, we pay for their lungs cancers. (Hmmm, maybe I shall explain on my blog what is Sécurité Sociale). I mean, I dont want to let people dying of cancers, but in some cases, people kinda chose to get sick.
    Got some problem here…

  7. Sandra: I try

    Graindlune: Thank you and welcome. From what little I know, i guess smoking is much more culturally acceptable in France, plus you have the really stinky cigarettes which makes it worse. Apparently Australian is turning into a popular emigration destination with French particularly younger folk, what with the 25% youth unemployment. Not that I’m advocating running away from your problems.. :)

  8. way to go Mr. Angry. I’m with you 120% (if that is possible mathematically). I hate smokers, they’re wasting their money but worst of all they waste the public’s money. How many of the smokers end up having lung cancer and got higher priority for hospitalisation than us normal, non-smoking people?
    If you have to be addicted to something, get addicted to caffeine people! It might not be harmless but at least it’s not too harmful either.

  9. Maybe not mathematically but it’s possible spiritually tru! I’m surprised that so far I’ve only had one smoker getting defensive (on my blogger blog) and everyone else is being 120% supportive. woohoo!

  10. Jason

    You must clarify…smoking WHAT?

    Anyone is welcome to smoke weed in my presence…in fact, I encourage it.

    Mr. Angry could use a joint, methinks… ;-)

  11. Hash cookies for me thanks Jason. I can’t draw smoke into my lungs, it makes me choke.

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