Monthly Archives: January 2007

Great moments in engineering

I’m not getting invited back to the engineering department any time soon.  In fact, I suspect they may have posted my picture on the wall with a sign saying “Don’t let this smartarse back in here.”  All because I tried to be helpful.

My reasons for being in this unfamiliar building aren’t important (also, I don’t want to give too much about my job away – I’m trying to be anonymous remember?)  One thing I noticed while I was there was a range of what was obviously sensitive equipment mounted on the walls.  I say “obviously” because each of these sensor thingies had a sign on top of them saying “WARNING: Do not rest items on top of this cabinet.”  The signs had simply been printed out on the laser printer, probably after someone had fucked up the equipment by resting stuff on top of it. 

I noticed something seemed a little… wrong with the sign so I had this conversation with one of the engineers (who turned out to be the one who had put the signs up):

ME: So I’m guessing this equipment is sensitive?

HIM: Great guess.

ME: Did somebody break something by stacking things on top of it?

HIM: Yeah, it interferes with some of the readings, plus that wall can’t hold too much weight.

ME: Did you have some problems with the signs blowing away?

HIM: Yeah, how did you know that?

ME: I noticed you’ve weighted the signs down with block of wood.

HIM: Because of the cooling fans here, every time someone opens a door we get a surge of wind so yeah, I had to weight them down.

ME: So you’re holding the “don’t stack things” sign in place with bits of wood?

HIM: Yeah.

ME: Heavy bits of wood on the sensitive machinery holding down signs saying “Don’t put heavy things here”.

(pause while this sinks in)

HIM: What the fuck do you want here anyway?

Like I said, I’m not getting invited back any time soon.

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400 posts down – where am I going now?

Long time readers will know I’m a big fan of arbitrary milestones and I’m celebrating another one now.  While I was on holidays, the automated Angrymotron3000 ™ pushed this blog past 400 posts.  At each of my previous 100 post milestones I’ve set myself a goal to reach in the next 100.  Each time I’ve ended up meeting the goal even when it was a “stretch” goal like the last one – getting paid (thanks to The Fizz on 101/DirecTV).

My 500th post should happen at around the same time as my one year anniversary (the end of March) so I think I need to set myself one big motherfuckin’ hairy-ass audacious goal for this one.  The thing is, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and there’s only one goal that makes sense to me now: turn this stuff into a professional gig and quit my day job. 

Maybe this is wussing out but I don’t think aiming to quit my day job in the next couple of months is a viable goal.  What I want is to have a concrete plan in place to reach the goal of turning all of these shenanigans into a paying gig.  There are a number of ways to pursue this and at this point, I have to admit, I don’t think I’m going to end up being a “professional blogger”. 

I think they most likely path to success is to convert what I’m doing through this blog and YouTube into money via another medium.  I know this isn’t very Web 2.0 but I do think it’s realistic.  Plus, here’s a little tip about all this “Web 2.0″ hoo-ha: most of it is unmitigated bullshit.  If I’m ever going to make money out of my writing and/or performing it’s most likely to be in the form of publishing a book, writing for a magazine or newspaper, or working in TV or film.  Or possibly stand-up comedy.  But nobody makes money doing stand-up comedy so fuck that.

The last month or so has been my most unfocused time since starting this blog but the holiday’s over now.  Besides getting into gear for my plan I promise to check in with every else’s blogs more regularly now too.  Because that’s what it’s all about – without the support of all my regular readers and commenters I’d be nowhere so it’s only fair I return the favour.  Stay tuned for further development and. of course, a whole lot more angriness.

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What made me angry about my holiday

While I was on holidays I didn’t actually make any angry videos and post any angry rants (you may have noticed).  So first thing on my arrival home I decided to get back into it.  And talk about some fuel: my fucking memory card fucked up and lost a pile of photos and videos.  So I decided to express my frustration in the best way I knew how:

But there was actually a happy ending or semi-happy at least.  To get over my disappointment at having lost some really good photos and videos I indulged in a little retail therapy and bought a new video camera – one I’d had my eye on for a while.  The bloke at the camera store heard my tale of woe and sprang into action.  He had a recovery programme that was quite good at reclaiming files that had been deleted from memory cards and he ran it on my camera’s memory card.  The end result was that I got back about 80% of the files I thought were completely lost.

Oh, and I got a kick-arse new camera.  So I made a video with the new camera and included some of the recovered footage:


As a post script – my editing software is having trouble working with some of the partially corrupted files.  If anyone knows some good tips for dealing with this – let me know.

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Mr Angry’s New Zealand retrospective

So I’m back home now.  New Zealand is absolutely awesome!  Maybe it was because it was my first decent holiday in about 7 years but I had a really good time.  Here are a few more videos I shot while I was there.  This first one is shot in the tourist centre of Queenstown.  In this video I make at least two factual errors; one, where I call the lake a bay and one where I say a hill covered in trees is suitable for skiing.  It was the ski-lift that tricked me.

This one is shot at another of the picturesque camp site where we spent the night – Moke Lake.  Contrary to what I say in this video, I actually did go for a swim in this lake.  Right in line with what I said in this video, it was fucking freezing.

This one was one of the most fun to make as I involved people around me in the video.  They clearly thought I was insane.

Here’s another piece of evidence that I’m a frustrated nature documentary presenter.  Although I won’t get far when I keep calling birds that can obviously fly “flightless”.  Although you’re pretty safe calling any bird in NZ flightless – I don’t know what it is about that place but it’s crawling with flightless birds.

Here we see Mr Angry – Thrillseeker!  But I’ll tell you this for free – pay attention to warning signs in NZ.  I saw some big-arse chunks of ice falling off the face of the glacier while I was there.  Pieces that would easily have weighed more than a tonne.  Natural splendour also means huge risks.

We’ll return to your regular angry programming directly.

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The Angry News – The Streets of San Francisco

I always thought San Francisco was meant to be a mellow hippy sort of place but it seems like “parking rage” is getting out of control there.  I get pissed off occasionally about parking spaces but I’ve never killed anyone… yet.

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Neighbour troubles for Gruntski

Gruntski loves dogs.  Gruntski loves his neighbour… usually.  But there’s a combination of neighbour and dogs at the moment that’s really pissing him off.

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The angry news – A Question of Intelligence

Another pre-prepared video post wherein I thank Time magazine for one of the best straight lines ever.

And while I’m on the topic – sure Bush is fucking up the world but at least he’s providing plenty of material for satirists.

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Mr Angry in New Zealand – Day 3

SO here I am on day three – where I discover some awful truths about NZ.

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Day 2 in New Zealand

Here’s a video from day two of the angry tour. Enjoy!

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Mr Angry in New Zealand

Here’s a video from my first day in NZ just as I’m setting up camp (finally able to upload some stuff). So how’s NZ? In a word – awesome!

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