Packaging is driving me crazy

I just spent ten minutes of my lunch hour wrestling with a fucking packet of sliced ham because I couldn’t get the fucking thing to open.  I found the little tab on the edge of the seal that is supposed to make it easy to open but that didn’t help.  I pulled and pulled to no avail.  Admittedly, the fact that I am a weak little girly-man was a big contributor to the problem but still, the packaging was ridiculous.

This isn’t even the usual problem with fucked-up food packaging.  Usually, the biggest issue is that the seal starts to come off but then it rips when you’ve partially opened it.  Leaving the remains of the seal in place makes getting the contents out a bastard of a job but trying to rip off the remainder of the seal ends up taking forever and making a horrible fucking mess.

In this case my solution was to find a sharp knife and cut open the packet.  This solved my initial problem (now I could actually get at the ham to make a sandwich) but now I can’t re-seal the packet.  So now the ham’s probably going to go off before I finish eating it.  Hopefully I won’t continue to eat it after it’s gone off – that never works out well.

And what is it with some drinks you buy having a seal under the lid?  This would be less frustrating if (a) you could get the fucking seals off without spilling drink everywhere and (b) if all drinks had the seal.  When only some drinks have the seal, you never know whether or not you have to unscrew the fucking lid before having a drink.

They go to all the trouble of putting one of those pop top lids on the bottle (this usually happens with bottled water and/or sports drinks) which makes the bottle convenient.  But then you pop the top and nothing comes out.  If you’re like me you spend a few seconds sucking on the bottle wondering what the fucking problem is.  If you’re lucky, you’re smarter than me and this isn’t such an issue.

And don’t even get me started on the packaging used on non-food items like electronic gadgets.  That double thick plastic they use that’s triple sealed along the edges just will not fucking come apart when you want to open the packet.  I’ve read that this is an anti-theft measure but seriously, can’t they cut us consumers some slack?  We’re not all thieves, some of us would like to be able to open products after we buy them.

When I hear stories of how Cheney and his cronies at Halliburton fucked over the soldiers in Iraq by taking billions of dollars to “outfit” them and then not giving them adequate (or any) armour, I think “send them some of this packaging plastic”.  Wrap their vehicles in this stuff and no amount of IED’s are going to cause any problems.  Mind you, there would be some issue with getting the soldiers out of the vehicles once you’d sealed them in but you can’t have everything. 

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11 Comments

Filed under General Angriness

11 responses to “Packaging is driving me crazy

  1. I nearly cut my finger off with one o’ them new fangled packaging ploys! I was slicing the packaging open on something I brought from the hardware store, and managed to give myself the technical equivalent of a paper cut, but with that thick plastic stuff. Yes, I was frustrated at the time I got hold of the knife, stabbed it through the plastic and yanked down, sliding my little finger along the edge of the plastic at a great rate of knots- I was sick of trying to be gentle with the fucking thing, and just wanted it open.

    Maybe I should sue their ass.

  2. You surely are angry today! Angry with food?! :)

  3. But it pisses me off too and only during PMS :D

  4. In Taiwan, they love extra packaging. Every single thing is packeted and packeted even more!

    Do they care how much they are wasting?

    No!

  5. Two words: CD wrapping… how many times have I felt like taking a hammer and just smashing the fucking thing open? Yet another reason to download…
    Actually, here in Japan it’s really stupid the amount of wrapping they use for food. A box of cookies, for example, will have a layer of cello on the outside, another one on the inside, and then *each fucking cookie* is wrapped. Christ, a guy could starve before he got to the food…

  6. Liz

    Just the other day, my tape to ipod contraption broke…I stopped at the store and bought a new one.
    Not only did I almost slice my hand open trying to get it open (seeing has how I did not have a knife or scizzors in my car) but I also broke the stupid thing in the process!!! 20 bucks down the drain because that stupid packaging made me SO MAD!

  7. One word. Scissors. They’re good when you need to cut someone just slightly, but hurtfully.

    And you usually do. Out of frustration. Especially since the frickin’ Swedish Post Office in my town has the worst service in the world, and still the highest, most unreasonable prices.

  8. Gruntski: yeah, that’s the other problem – that shit can be razor sharp!

    Suroor: things that get in my way piss me off! I have PMS every day! Putting up with Meaningless Shit!

    Range: yeah, it’s amazing how much stuff is TRIPLE packaged! How long can that sort of waste go on?

    kyklops: oh yeah! how could I forget that! hate that bastard stuff!

    Liz: Yep, I feel your pain.

    Daniel: I have this heavy-duty industrial pair of scissors solely to open packaging. I just got sick of struggling with shit.

  9. Will

    Here’s a general rule I live by re: drink bottles –
    If it has a pop-top, it’ll most likely have a seal, because it’s all too easy for members of the axis of evil to pop up the lid and sprinkle the drink with white dust.
    That being said, I usually ignore the pop tops and drink straight out of the bottle (so the seal is just another barrier in between me and refreshing beverages), unless I’m driving (where removing said seal with teeth could end in disaster..)

  10. If the *all* had seals I wouldn’t be so angry because I’d know to take it off *every* time. But they don’t! Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. It drives me fucking nuts!

  11. Welcome to the wonderful world of packaging design made to frustrate even the most knowledgeable de-packager. I studied this crap for years in college. How to wrap soap. How to design a pleasing bottle label. How to design industrial packaging. This is why I don’t design packaging anymore. The world does not need more packaging it needs much less. Much less packaging would equal much less waste and furthermore lower the cost of buying a packaged product.

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