Real Estate Agents Suck

Seriously.  I’d say these fuckers are all going to hell but that’s obviously where they’re spawned.

I’m planning to move house so I need to deal with these scumbags  while looking for a new rental property.  The rental market in Melbourne is tight to say the least right now and there’s a lot of competition for decent places when they’re available.  That I can live with but these piece of shit real estate agents don’t have to start acting like arrogant pricks just because they can.

One agent in particular is on my shit list.  In all their ads they specify that you can’t even look at a property until after the existing tenants move out.  Tenancy laws in Australia allow for at least one inspection to be arranged, even if the existing tenant is being difficult they have to agree to one.  So the fact that this agent won’t organise say, half an hour where everyone who’s interested can have a quick look points to one of two things:

One, they’re lazy pricks.

Two, the evil fuckers are hiding something about the property.

Neither of these options speaks well of the agent in question.  This particular agent even advertises properties without giving a figure for the rent – they say “offers invited”. Yes, fight amongst yourself little fishies, debase yourself for our amusement. I want to move but I’m not desperate so I’m not going to be fucked over by these vermin.  I’ll wait until circumstances are right and won’t tie myself in knots in the meantime.

And there’s no way I’m dealing with this one particular scumbag agent.  On the off chance any real estate agent reads this and wonders why they’re so hated, it’s because you’re evil, lying worthless scum and you fucking well deserve to be hated.

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65 Comments

Filed under General Angriness

65 responses to “Real Estate Agents Suck

  1. In the book “Freakonomics” they discussed what happens when real estate agents sell their own properties. And – surprise surprise – they get an average price about 3% more than when they sell places for customers. Meaning – they advise you to take the first best offer even when you could hold out for more, just because the small increase in their commission isn’t worth it for them.

    Professionals my ass – they should have their heads stuck on spears in the middle of main street, the inglorious bastards.

  2. I’m so glad I was able to take over the flat of someone else last time I had to move. I’ve lived in Prague 6 years and moved about 8 times, and every time it’s been hell. I’m staying where I am no matter how shitty it gets:)

  3. Can’t find a job anywhere else….become a real estate agent. You don’t have to have skills or a personality. Love screwing someone over…YES – REAL ESTATE IS FOR YOU!

  4. Salamaat,
    hahaha I don’t know what’s funnier your post or Sandra’s comment!

    But why can’t you rent directly from the owner/management? (sorry if it’s a silly question)

  5. I totally agree with you angry man, real estate agents are scum. The kind of scum you want to go out and buy a 4×4 just to roll over them. Back and forth, back and forth….back…..stop then forth.

    I just moved into a new place. One of the laundry doora is fucked (double doors that open from the middle).

    I asked the agent politely if I could have these fixed before I moved in. He looked at me like I had just asked him to remove his prostate through his nose and ram it back up his pee hole.

    He bluntly replied “no”. No… You never start a sentance with no unless its serious.

    My Response was “excuse me? you’re going to fix that door, or I am reporting you to the tribunal”

    of course his tone and voice changed. So did the excuses. “oh couldn’t find the part couldn’t do this couldn’t do that.

    I left with “If But nothing, 4 weeks, fix it or find yourself at the tribunal”

    You’ve gotta be firm and strong with these bastards. They have no souls.

  6. paddy: I love freakonomics – although I don’t need their study to know that real estate agents are bastards

    Michelle: sounds like a sensible approach

    Sandra: yeah, sociopaths of the world unite! Become real estate agents!

    Maliha: it’s possible sometimes to rent directly but at least 95% of rentals here are managed by agents

    Benjamin: well handled! You’re absolutely right, you can’t give ground to these scum.

  7. Well, I’ve not had many encounters with the bottom-feeders you speak of, but… I once was thinking of becoming an estate agent- you have hence-forth put me off that dream. :)

  8. Definitely choose another career, chick. You have to give up your soul to be a real estate agent.

  9. Dave

    Sandra is correct. Run away from this profession. In the US at least, I have yet to meet a real estate agent who actually helps anything–except to accelerate transactions. If we removed the agents from the process and required a few standardized legal forms for property transfer, things would be greatly improved. The housing market game must end. Buyers and sellers both are getting the short end of the deal. Lose-Lose-Win (the win is for the agents).

  10. Fucking_Loaded!!

    Hahaha….I myself am an agent. I am 21 years old and have made more money in a year than most of you worthless fucking whiners will make in a lifetime. Go ahead and wake up at dawn everyday and crawl to your shit jobs, I will wake up at noon go golfing, then work for and hour. And still make more than you. You should probably watch your backs too, because when you are out there working we might just be at your house making your wife an offer she cant refuse.

    • Jerry Evans

      Hey Fucking Loaded

      If on the off chance that you read this, I bet you’re a bankrupt now, shame you souless prick.

    • The Wave

      Hey Fucking Loaded (you cunt)

      Your time of working as you described is coming to an end….it’s called the internet. Normal people can now use the net to do what you do, and better, and not pay a cunt like you any commission. See you in the Centrelink Line (from my Mercedes Benz as i drive past). Then again, a broke cunt like you probably can’t spell Centrelink…clap out the syllables, it might help.

    • kate

      You play golf? ‘Nuff said.

    • Hey loaded by now at the time of this posting you’ve probably lost everything or damn near everything. Let me guess I bet you are some low life property manager or leasing agent for some crack house Apt complex. Since the housing bubble burst. I know you are lying because most real estate agents work 12 hours per day and most weekends in a very competitive market so try bullshitting someone else.

    • Then some cunt has come int your home, after stalking you for months because you screwed him over. He gets out that posh kitchen knife set you bought with the money and cuts you to ity bity widle pieces while you sleep.

  11. Mr A, Gimme that ^^^ dickheads email address. I wanna spam him.

  12. Actually, give everyone his email address- someone may know him, and can tell me where he lives… I wanna visit his wife. And I’ll be takin’ my cactus with me….

  13. Grunstki: he’s a troll and a liar. And he’s gutless – didn’t provide any identifying information. 21 year-old real estate agents make fuck-all. They get the shit jobs of looking after rentals.

    They make barely any more than a teenage supermarket cashier – they put up with it for years because they think they will eventually move into sales and make big commisions. But the leeches already in sales aint going nowhere.

    The vast majority of junior agent burn out before ever advancing – just the way their bosses want it. That dick probably isn’t even a real estate agent. If he is, he’s frustrated and broke and trying to taunt other people because there’s surely fuck-all good in his life.

  14. I’ve had to work with you bastards on a daily basis for your insipid websites during the last 2 years and loathed every bile-churning minute of it. I’ve never met more stressed out and ignorant people in my life!!! You guys could give air traffic controllers a run for their money! Fortunately, I have a life outside all this where I can leave the Realtors behind and deal with real people again. I have this to say.

    Fuck you, you miserable, stupid, screwed up, uptight, joyless, mongoloid, Real Estate twits!! Is it possible for you to actually read or listen to anything given you by clients or colleagues so you may actually learn something, or have your television addled, comatose minds simply squeezed out any potential for new information to be introduced?!? While you enjoy the monetary benefit of your chosen profession, keep in mind how very brief it will be. Once your market totally collapses and you’re left contemplating how to best end your existence after completely alienating everyone who once had respect for you. How about instead of continually bothering the poor individuals who have to endure your inane bullshit on a daily basis, you do us all a favor and drown yourself in the foundation cement for one of the homes you sell. You are a worthless waste of air and have no place in this world. Once all your clients wise up and realize they can handle every aspect of home sales on their own, your existence will have been for nothing. Your only contribution, keeping the ditch diggers employed. Never forget the “little people” who make it possible for you to get 6% commission on a 2,000,000$ home. That although we may assist you. We may answer your questions. We may even pretend to care. We all hate you! We wish you nothing more than unhappiness, despair, and eventual suicide, due to your failure to behave as a decent human being!!!
    Pray we never meet on the street. I’ve got a storehouse of hate to unload on you!

  15. Awesome, awesome rant Efxman, cogratulations! I hope getting that off your chest helped you feel better.

  16. Jack

    Agents are the laziest pieces of crap i have ever come across. I’m currently trying to find a house to rent and the agents only have houses open between 4 and 5 on weekdays and between 12 and 1 on a Saturdays.

    This makes me have to take time of work every time i want to look at a house and its not impressing my boss! They want people with good jobs to come in as renters, but they want to destroy your employment by getting you to take time off work ever time you want to look at a house…

    I asked an agent the other day why they don’t do this stuff after hours and she said “I’m not working a minute after 5:00″.

    Bitch …

  17. That sums it up perfectly “They want people with good jobs… but they want to destroy your employment.”

  18. sliver or Silver?

    I’m an agent, first of all an agent is not an employee. This means they have to be able to do what they want if they can’t they are an employee. See employee law!!!! I started selling at 21 as well just 1 day after I graduated from college and am now 35 and worth millions. I haven’t sold a property for a commission for 7 years. I am a developer, class A builder, own over 40 rentals and a real estate broker. I build a house and then what? I hire an agent! Why? Because they know what they are doing and they will get it sold. If your thinking why does this agent hire an agent to sell his stuff the answer is I don’t have time anymore. I can’t speak for renters too much but I can say if it is not a safety issue we don’t have to fix it. I’ll fix it though why wouldn’t I. It is my property and I don’t want to rent some half ass property. As a developer I want to purchase land as cheap as I can so I can profit from the project. If all the agents died in the world it would be real easy for me to take advantage of some owner who sells a property every 7 years or so. It is those owners that don’t get advice from agents that I love, because they are not up to date with subdivision code and don’t have a clue what they own. 10 acres in one part of town may be worth 5,000,000 but in another part of town five minutes away may be worth 100,000. So the next time you see an agent you should give him/her a hug. Because it is such a cut throat business (like any business is) the bad ones are out in no time. Be thankful that you have agents to turn to for help as a buyer or seller. Also, buy real estate! Had I not invested in real estate I would have to go to work in the AM. My biggest job every month is lugging all those rent cheks to the bank. They are getting really heavy. Also don’t be a rich person hater. The rich are rich because they are smart and they worked hard and were rewarded for it. If you don’t ike capitalism move to Cuba. I have been there because I’m rich and it really is a lovley country but it would suck if you had to sign a lease with Castro everytime you moved. I’m sure he’ll fix that door. Dumbasses…..rent until you can afford to buy.

  19. Thanks for the alternative viewpoint, Silver.

  20. Wow, great site. I am a Real Estate Broker owner, I am licensed in three states and had 17 agents. I am 36 and veryfrustrated with the real estate industry. There is “wicked awesome” money to be had, but the industry is nasty, to say the least. With the lack of adequate building inspections ended being so hard to actually follow through with a legitimate lawsuit, the consumer~real estate buyer~is being violated every single day, from my point of view. The gentleman, the 21-year-old, was very disrespectful to you folks and certainly did not make any kind of a statement that would warrant you to respect Realtors. His comments were vulgar and unprofessional to say the least. And if you find a real estate agent that has lied and misled, and you have all the proof necessary to prove that this agent has done such, there is no real way to make a real estate agents liable for their actions. You may get your money back years later, and many stressful years off of your life, but you will never get justice. Prevention is the Justice I want for ALL buyers and sellers.

    The real estate industry is based on a false foundation. My theory is that “Sellers sell real estate, Banks Loan Money on Real Estate and that mortgage brokers and realtors just get in the way”. The NAR is a powerful lobby group and though I feel the Internet will wipe out most real estate agents, I feel this will not happen for quite some time. I see the anger here and I ask that you who come to F word, this will enable more people to take what you have to say seriously. And I for one can say that what you folks have to say is extremely important for consumer rights, globally.

    I do not agree with the above real estate agent, that a seller NEEDS a real estate agent to protect them. A seller needs to know the value of their property before they sell and not rely on a real estate agent to tell them what their property is worth. We need to educate sellers, so that they know their rights and that they do not view a real estate agent as the only one who could possibly know “whats really going on” a real estate agent may know the building codes and the subdivision codes for a particular area better then a seller or a buyer. This is only because, they found out. I know I went to school for one week, to become a real estate agent. I was taught how to take a test, to pass the real estate exam and with this I learned a few real estate definitions. I learned no real, real estate law, contract law, engineering practices or information in that really will it protect the consumer. So if you can read and talk on the phone, then you can call these local agencies and figure out. Sellers can take advantage of buyers, quite often just as much as a real estate agent. Buyers, quite often give a real estate agent to much information in on their personal situation, and do not realize that the real estate agent will most definitely use this against them. The above real estate agent seems to be simply bragging about how much money he has made in the real estate industry in trying to tell you folks that using a real estate agent is to your best benefit. I used to think that, I used to think that a real estate agent could protect a buyer and a seller and give them more information than they could get on the wrong. This Is Simply Not True. I obviously, could go on about this for days. I won’t bore you anymore. But I will say this: please keep posting on this site and similar sites to help buyers and sellers navigate through and give buyers and Sellers tools to empower themselves and not give their power over to a real estate agent. It is a sad industry, an industry where real estate agents make more money in a transaction, then Sellers, quite often, walk away with. So tell us your story, I for one can say I am listening. And I, intend to make a difference. Thank you for this blog, I am glad you folks have a way to vent your frustrations about real estate agents. I am glad that victims a real estate are coming out of the closet per se and letting the world know how they are REALLY being treated.

  21. Nice essay, thanks for contributing.

  22. Victoria

    I am buying a house, we have been looking only a few weeks, so far I’ve had what looks like a teenager wants me to sign a contract to pay her a special commision for buying a house, I’ve been lied to at least twice, and about 3 real estate agents have not replied to my email. They make me want to live in a fucking box. Their are certain ones that I won’t even entertain the idea of buying one of their listings, just out of love for humanity. Fuck em! FUCK EM! PISS ON THEM! I WANT TO RAPE THEIR KITTY CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Mani

    I have been approached by a highly respected real estate developer who has been in business for over 21 years and is ranked #1 in Canada for Prudential Realty. I have had the pleasure of doing business with her in the past when she was a client of mine in my previous job, and have nothing but respect for her.

    She has offered me a position as her assistant, where I will have the opportunity to learn the ins and outs of the business for one year until I complete my licensing. I realize that this is a great opportunity for me, but one among several. I am having a difficult time deciding whether to accept her offer.

    I am a 3rd year business and computing science student in university and am currently employed at a major bank. I have a great future working at the bank, where I can move up into a business analyst position once I complete my studies. But this offer that I have recieved from this developer is hard to give up, and I would like some advice from both the general public as well as professional real estate agents/developers (NO COCKY 21 YR OLDS!) on what would be the best course of action given my situation. I am currently 23, so time is on my side :)

    Thank you

  24. Reality Bites

    How interesting that you people are so angry, dont confuse a lack of things getting done or sales not going through, i have been in Real Estate for 20 years and pride myself on being honest, ethical and above reproach.Most agents also have issues of landlords not agreeing to repair things and the agent becomes the hated one .An agent is purely a middle person to negotiate a deal .The language used by many here is purely a reflection of the people ranting and litle wonder most of us will have to provide them with social security for years to come. Hatred belongs to many being a decent human being seems difficult to people today and dissapointing that it becomes so abusive ! Like all in life we can choose who we do business with and can understand why some of the above people seem to have so much trouble im sure in many other issues as well.Time to grow up and be respectfull to all !

  25. custador

    You know the best thing about the housing market taking a dive? Other than houses suddenlt becoming affordable and realistically priced again? 20 estate agents per week closing down in the UK alone. Love it.

  26. Reality: Get fucked. You are scum. I fucking hate you.

    Custador: Gotta love the cosmic balance :)

  27. Lots of good (and bad) comments here.

    I just wanted to say that we are not bad people. I am the owner of a real estate brokerage.

    But many real estate agents are not that great. And as a business owner we do have the right to work the hours we work, charge the fees we want, have the business plan we want, etc. As long as we abide by all of the governing laws.

    I help customers all of the time who have had previous poor experiences with real estate agents. Sometimes it is due to lack of experience and sometimes it is just not the right fit. Some personalities just don’t jive.

    I’ve met many people that just aren’t nice. I don’t have to work with them. If they don’t like or trust me then they should move on. The ones that I work with me are happy and we have a mutual respect for one another. That is how it should be.

    Life is too short to live life unhappy. If you don’t want to do business with someone – don’t. Move on. It is that easy.

    Good luck everyone!

  28. Reality Bites

    Mr Angry happy new year to you , i do hope the social security cheque made it in time for you to have some cheap wine ,
    As a new years resolution have you decided to grow up or keep on abusing people ?

  29. Reality Bites: I don’t abuse people. But worthless shit eating cunts like you are sub-human so fuck you monkey-boy!

  30. agentkiller

    Can all the real estate agent dogs just fuck off the site. Your comments make me as sick as a peodophile raping a baby. If i ever see an agent on a dark night with noone around i will make you into a fucking vegetable.My story is too long to tell. All i know is , agent + me+ dark night= retard. By the way, heres some great tricks for you peeps that hate these dog cunts. Ring up real estate agents and be a time wasting rude prick just for fun & make their day a living hell, or look at the window at the office and (because your a bit sick looking at there scumbag prices) rear up and blow chunks allover the window. Oh and my favorite, walk into there office and and ask to speak with the agent with a belly full of garlic and onions and let rip. Fucken awsome, paybacks a bitch but if you want to wreck peoples lives, theres always gonna be a guy like me out there who brings on the karma. Social security check? How about when we pay for your disabilty cheque for when I, or one of the millions of people that want to wreck you, turn you into a smashed tomato you fucking waste of oxygen.

  31. Peace Out People

    Holy crap you guys are all nuts. I myself have had some pretty bad experiences with real estate agents, I think that they are as bad, if not worse than lawyers. But hey, to each their own. If you don’t like them, don’t hire them… and don’t talk to them. If you truly have nothing better to do than publicly bash others with sickening, vulgar and immature language then you have serious issues people.

    I’ve sold my last 3 homes without an agent, but there are people who do need their services for various reasons. So let them, SERIOUSLY, WHO CARES?!

    And no my email address is not real! Why would I subject myself to spam and/or hate mail from someone who is as disturbed (obviously) as “Mr Angry?” Or the rest of you? Lol I DON’T THINK SO!!! It’s not normal to be angry 365 days a year lol, you should focus your energy on fixing your own life instead of complaining about everyone else’s. Bet you’re just the greatest guy to be around… NOT!!!

  32. Tim

    I’ve been an agent for only a year and a 1/2 and I had a good respect for people UNTIL I became an agent. ESPECIALLY BUYERS IN TODAYS MARKET!! Just look at the moronic losers posting their anti-agent agenda here. The first week I was on board…a long time agent told me,”There are two things to remember..90% of all buyers and sellers are liars.” I thought to myself…well that just about takes care of it then!!

  33. 100% of real estate agents are liars! Scum sucking filth every single fucking one of you. FUCK OFF AND DIE you snivelling piece of shit!

  34. Agents in the money

    Hello Mr Angry The agents are making lots of money

  35. Australian

    I HATE real estate agents!!!!! They are SCUM!!! Once again I am being screwed over by some skinny, blond haired bimbo who looks not a day over 12… I doubt her mentality reaches that age! I am beginning to realise that ALL of these under-educated dickshits come from the same spawn! Can anyone tell me the name of an agent in Toowoomba, Qld who might actually look after a property for me without all the bullshit? I’m not talking honest as I am fully aware that “honesty” and “real estate agent” does not go in the same sentence. Just an agent who understands he is acting on MY behalf!!! Rip off arseholes!! And by they way, next time you turn up to one of my properties for an open day, PLEASE DON’T DRESS IN A MICRO MINI LEATHER SKIRT, TUCKED IN CRISP WHITE SHIRT WITH BUTTONS UNDONE TO YOUR BELLYBUTTON AND *** WAIT FOR IT *** FISH NET STOCKINGS!!! WHAT THE HELL??? F*ck! There’s no red light out the front. Her heels were that high she walked down the driveway like she was walking down a hill with her arse up and nothing but a g-string covering up what she ate for breakfast. I live in a good area… EMBARRASSING!!!

  36. Cany

    Ha ha agentkiller, you have me in stitches. I live in a small rural town about 2 hours from the city. My mates and I got a lift into the city a few weeks ago, had a blinder of a weekend but had no way to get home. So went into a real estate agent and told them we were interested in looking at properties out in our own town. Ha, suckers!!! They drove us all the way out, when we pulled up at the house for sale we all legged it out of there!! Ha ha, too funny!! He’s probably still driving around town looking for us!!!

  37. We have just launched a site which gives you a chance to let other know what you think of the Landlord, property and estate agent here: http://www.ratethelandlord.com.

    Please add some reviews, the more that get added the better the site is for other people and will ensure that people know how bad / good an estate agent really is!

  38. Jae

    For all of you sitting on the other side of the world, I wanted you to know you have a Floridian in stitches. I live in a condo for sale and up until now never knew I could loathe another human being the way I loathe these self-serving nasty bitches who represent themselves as real estate agents. One agent in Louisiana had a site up complaining about tenants being present during a showing with a comic skit that read “we won’t steal your beer can collection”. Couldn’t let that one slide. I annoyed her so much on her own website that she shut it down! I’ve also had a couple agents show up at my door without notice like I owe them something. For any of you out there renting a property that’s for sale, I found some good “staging” tips these realtors call them to help a sale, i.e., they want the place clean and to smell good – cook something with vinegar. They want everything to look spacious – place boxes or other items to block entry ways. If you have pets they actually have the balls to want you to take them out of the house to make their clients “comfortable”! Comfortable my ass! I didn’t clean either of the 2 kitty litter boxes and left them in open site. There are many more tricks of “their” trade which if you reverse will blow their sales all to hell! The Internet is a wonderful place to learn!

  39. red blooded human

    God help us and save us from these bad real estate agents. why do they call themselves professionals? 99.99 % of the agents have no business ethics, and without any ethics they are as good as any junk trying to sell a stolen camera for $50 out side some random train station.

    real estate agents??? professionals,,?!! ha… my ass!!!! illiterate scumbags…. government should bring down this middle-man system and allow more transparent system in place, but not this blood sucking idiots surviving on other peoples money..bloody leaches!!!

  40. matt

    REALTORS ARE FUCKING SHIT BAGS AND I WANT TO MURDER EVERY ONE OF THEM AND EAT THERE FAMILIES ALIVE IN FRONT OF THEM……FUCK THEM ALL

  41. Laughing my arse off

    Hi all agent haters, isn’t it funny how it is the consumers decicion on who they want to deal with and when they make the wrong one they blame everybody else,in my experience, yes I am an agent, the people that are complaining choose to use the cheapest agent, remember disgruntled clients, of you pay peanuts you get monkeys. Wake up to yourself

  42. wayne

    i personally dont discriminate, i am a renter in melbourne for the past 4 years. I must say there are most bad agents out there and some reasonable agents but so far i’ve met bad agents.
    First place i stayed in was a private rental hostel. Shit internet that force you to subscribe to their internet and phone for a higher margin. slow, expensive, disconnects frequently. when i got out they inspect the property and claim this and that like we are idiots. College square on swanston if you property agents know.
    2nd place was a private landlord who advertised thru the uni website. slightly expensive and old but reasonably clean cuz she clean it every week. Got my parents to live in an empty room for 2 weeks and she found out. she was mad about it and after i paid the rent she’s still not cool.
    3rd place was a furnished apt in city. Lived in there and when i move out, as usual, claim this and that for slight things out of the bond. (i think) i took some of the utensils but it’s furnished and probably all mixed up. the owner demands that i return 3 forks 1 spoon 2 knifes to her. I said it’s all mixed up that’s it. she was upset about it and said she was trying to do her job.
    4th place is the worst. expensive overrated rent, no value, no repairs get done. I have the air ventilation chamber hanging loose above my head during shower yet nothing was done. He even cheated me to pay rent even though i had moved out and current rent-payer is not paying rent.
    5th place is where i am currently staying. Paid the rent upfront, this agent was joyous when i did that and he started entertaining me by talking sick stuff to me. Got a few repair jobs and dragged for awhile until i read up on repair work in tuv and told him if he dun get anything done i take this to the tribunal and it’s done now. The sun is facing me afternoon and i demanded that the landlord installs blinds and gets no reply until recently. The landlord told me to install myself at my own cost but leave them in the property when i leave. What kinda bs is this?
    Conclusion: Not all property agents/landlords are bad, but generally what they do is:
    do as little work, as much rent and bond, as little payout as possible, even that means violating their own morals and ethics and law.
    I wish more people knows the law governing property and governments actually limiting these agents’ behaviour.
    And if property agents want to change their image, they should be more considerate towards both sides because after all property is what we live in.
    god i am getting headache from staying in the sun, damn the landlord/agent who delayed and said no to my plea, even when i paid upfront.

  43. Sammy

    Agents are scum

  44. Jaqhama

    If you’re buying or selling a property real estate agents are your new best friends.
    If you’re looking to rent a place or are already a renter then you’re just scum as far as most real estate agents in NSW, Australia are concerned.
    I rate them the same as most lawyers, dirty thieveing money hungry motherfuckers, who will tell you anything to make a buck.
    We’re actually moving next weekend because our current renatl apartment is up for sale. Real estate threatened to evict us because it took us a couple of weeks to find a new place to rent ( we actually had to move outside our area, rent’s got too expensive here) and we wouldn’t allow an open day inspection because we obviously have our personal possensions on view everywhere…and don’t think potential thieves don’t attend real estate open days…so we said go ahead and get a tenancy eviction notice…that gives us another sixty days grace and in that sixty days you won’t be having an open day and the apartment won’t be getting any purchasers.
    The new place we’re moving into…real estate won’t give us the keys until 4p.m. of the day before we’re due to move in, even though the house is empty…so we can’t move any stuff in until the first day we have paid rent from.
    Aussie real estate agents suck. Seems to be the same story in the rest of the world.
    I want to paint the wooden windowsills and a couple of other parts of our new rental…have to send the RE agent an email asking permisson to do so…after we have moved in. I wanted to paint before we moved in FFS.
    It’s no wonder people who have posted here wish bad karma on RE agents…who wouldn’t? Only another piece of pond life RE agent I guess.

    Cheers: Jaq
    Sydney
    Australia

  45. badwookie

    In the USA these people are lower than whale shit. Every dickhead who was a failure at everything else eventually tries his hand at selling real estate. The so called profession is an economic catchbasin for stupid, lazy, dishonest, motherfuckers. Realistically, about a third of them are okay. The balance are worthless or theives, who will disappear from your life after the contract is signed, and you won’t see them again until the closing. (They show up for their checks.) I could go on for a thousand pages….

  46. MadAsHell

    THANK YOU for all the rants!!!! It’s great to know we’re not alone. After more than a year of trying to sell a house in the US, I can barely say the word “realtor” without adding “scumbag.” Every one of them pretends that there are plenty of buyers out there, if you only drop the price a little more. But what they really want is for THEIR sellers to lower the price so far that the 1 actual buyer in the entire state will snap it up and yell “suckers!” as they walk off with the deal. Realtors just loooove to say sellers are all unrealistic, when guess who priced the houses in the first place? Not the seller, that’s for sure. I’ve bought houses and sold houses, and haven’t seen a single realtor with an ethical bone in their body – unless ethics means screwing the buyers and sellers but never another realtor.

  47. waste 'em

    Real estate agents, particularly “property managers” (the most useless scum) are definately the most worthless shits around. If you havent got a trade skill or cant do anything with your hands, or if you can barely read or write either, then real estate is the job for u. Those idiots call themselves “professionals”

    WORST THING is that real estate fuckers get paid too much for the nothing that they do, and theyre “laughing their arse off” at the rest of us because they know theyre ripping us off

  48. tom

    Wow, now lets get a few things straight. I have been an agent for 18 months. Prior to this i studied a bachelor of accounting and HR. For “anyone” whom has made comment in a manner that is derogative toward any profession in real estate, you are clearly an uneducated individual whom is unfortunatley far to caught up it other professions short comings to recognise that perhaps you failed to educate yourself.
    I think i would be correct in saying your evenings consist of watching “Today tonight” which you use to inform yourself of national news, cant see any issues with that??
    I find it amussing that you suggest the industry is so easy and then pay us to sell your house?? your clearly the smart ones are you!!
    Real Estate is no different than any other in Australia, except for the fact that we are so heavily regulated that we couldnt do anything wrong if we wanted to.
    Its very clearly a lack of edcuation.

  49. Hey “Tom”, besides being an obvious troll and a cunt, you’re also particularly stupid if you think anyone’s going to believe your shit when you can’t even spell.

    Fucking loser.

  50. Michael

    I’m almost not surprised to see Real Estate agents in Australia similar to Real Estate agents in the U.S. This is the most useless worthless middleman profession there is. In the United States it’s kept alive by an organization called NAR which has a total monopoly on listings via the MLS. NAR is an affront to the Free Market and the MLS is the “last hope” for these worthless lying Realtor’s as the internet should have eliminated their profession in the same way travel agents were phased away by Orbitz and Expedia.

    I’m blown away how arrogant almost EVERY Realtor I’ve met is. They all act like they have the “keys to your vault” and you “need them”. When I meet a Realtor unless circumstances warrant otherwise I tell them right away what I think in a VERY simple and polite tone. It never fails to set them off! I was once almost in a physical altercation with a Realtor on an airplane. I was talking calmly and logically which he started raising his voice spouting the same nonsense about how Real Estate “always goes up” and I did not know what I was talking about. How far have those fake housing values dropped since that time?

    These useless crooks are just IN THE WAY. They are totally worthless and COST MORE on both parties. ALL of the information they provide is on the internet. I mean WHAT do they do? What VALUE do they add? Nothing!

    They practice unethical and dishonest tricks and tactics such as re-listing houses as “new”, putting up “sold” signs to make it look like people are buying when they are not, conducting “group bus tours” for “mini bidding wars”, selectively omitting and covering up information. And just constantly lying through their teeth. They give used car-salesmen a bad name as they are 100000x worse. It’s the same tired lines and lies:

    Home-ownership = tax breaks. Buy now. Get a Tax Break.
    Interest Rates are low
    Prices always go up
    Buy now or you will be shut out
    They aren’t making anymore land
    Renters are losers.
    Buying Agents are FREE for the buyer (buyer pays the seller, seller pays the Realtor).

    And all the other LIES and conjectures these low life useless parasitic scum sucking bottom feeders conjure up.

  51. Michael

    Now is always a great time to buy. Typical Realtor rhetoric in 2008.

    Where are Real Estate prices now?

  52. Jason

    OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I love this page!
    …I can’t hardly believe I haven’t been here before.
    I am going to subscribe to this blog just so I can stay involved! It’s awesome.
    I too loathe real estate agents…like poison.
    I have met only a small handful that are worth their salt – but not many…certainly not enough for me to want to save them all from mass genocide. In truth…I don’t think the people from Sodom and Gomorrah were as bad as the vile fuckers in the Real Estate business.
    Me…I own a mortgage brokerage firm in Canada…we are regulated up the ass in my province and there are enormous education and experience qualifications before you can even be licensed. I have a major in HR, Finance, Stats, and Marketing…so I consider myself a well educated man. The life of broker was far more exciting to me than becoming an accountant – I have way to much of a personality for that life!
    My company get’s paid directly from the lender – never from the client. And any earnings we receive do not get built in to the client’s mortgage or otherwise. Typically we get paid anywhere from $750 – $800 per $100k the mortgage is. To me – that’s FAT Cash. Much more that I believe is deserved – but hey…it’s coming from a BANK and those fuckers have taken enough of my money…I am happy to take some of theirs! We do not, nor have ever, participate in “Sub Prime” or for lack of a better word – SHIT mortgage lenders. We consider ourselves to be guardians of our industry and are trying our damnedest to rid the world of the ilk that is Sub Prime Lending!
    Bottom line – I have to deal with Real Estate Agents on a daily basis – I hate the fuckers. Nearly the dumbest group of people I have encountered. Greedy, selfish, and deceptive.
    I have too many examples of shit real estate agents…funny – I can’t even refer to them as professionals – my favorite story today is the agent who threatened me b/c I told him to do his fucking job…he said he was gonna come down and “teach me a lesson”…I told him to pop in anytime and that I would be sure to lock the door behind him just so we wouldn’t be interrupted during our “lesson” – the spineless prick won’t even bother to show up.
    I am old Irish – love a good scrub up – nothing would please me more than to grab that fucking immigrant bastard with his real estate license by his fucking head and slam my office door on it – repeatedly.
    I dream…I dream. Oh…nothing against immigrants with real jobs…but those smarmy fucks who can barely speak English who show up and become Real Estate Agents – they are the LOWEST form of life to me. What…you too good to drive a TAXI? HUH?!
    Cheers to all my new friends!

  53. Dave

    I concur all real estate agents are scum bags and should be exiled from society along with body corporate managers, lawyers and used car salesmen.

    The place we just moved out of was filthy when we moved in but it was cheap and we needed a place soon.

    When we moved in there was a door onto our enclosed balcony and some asshole in the building got onto the agent and asked them to remove the door because it was too noisy, then they were going to replace it but as it was too expensive they just left us with an open balcony with a thin tin roof that leaked all over the place and was never fixed over almost 2 years.

    Every time it rained it you could not hear a thing over the rattling of sheet metal, plus anything we kept out there became water damaged.

    The fridge was so loud it kept you awake too and the washing machine did not work at all so we had to wait several months for these things to be replaced.

    Also when we moved in all the screens were damaged and there was no screen on the balcony so you couldn’t open any windows without letting insects in.

    The lights in the second room were broken almost until we moved out and then they replaced it with the cheapest fan/light combo they could. They had to replace our main rooms one too and even though we told the electrician they were crap and the other one was malfunctioning they installed the same one.

    The light in these fans is controlled by a remote however due to the crappiness of their design the fan light turns on when other hardwired lights are turned on in the house so we had to take the light bulb out as it would randomly turn on all the time. The second fan installed was broken after less than a month and siezed.

    So after almost 2 years of broken lights, fans, leaky roofs, missing doors and broken appliances you would think we could move out without a hitch after their long standing run of uselessness.

    But no, after cleaning the absolute shit out of the place, better than when we moved in there we are asked to come back to do shitloads more cleaning.

    Things that we reported were not clean when we moved in like the windows which were on the outside of a third story building and covered with a non removable screen, we were queried about a drawer handle which was broken when we moved in and they never fixed, they couldn’t find it because they didn’t fucking look hard enough in the cupboard above it!

    The tops of the cupboards were covered with grease and dust in a thick layer which took me hours to clean, however as we didn’t have a ladder when we moved in it was impossible to note this in the entry condition report.

    The window frames which were filthy with 10 years of the previous tenants accumulated dust and dirt were added to the list of things to clean even though we said on entry the windows were not clean (apparently the track is not considered part of the window!).

    The tops of fans also not clean when we moved in apart from the ones in our rooms which were not even working were on the list too as was the fridge where there was a tiny little bit of a mark and the cupboards which had a few crumbs missed on the first wipe down…

    The floors on the balcony which I washed three times and was covered in rust marks and stains when we moved in was also not clean enough for them and there were spider webs on the balcony.

    So after we submitted the forms all back and handed in the keys my girlfriend who is on the bond goes overseas for a wedding, I get a call saying I have to go back there within 24 hours or they will get their own people in to clean it and charge us for it.

    She asks why I was living there without her knowledge and I tell here the previous real estate agent knew I was living here as the nosy neighbor who had our fucking door removed told her and she said she didn’t care, it is a two bedroom place and she has two people living there big fucking deal. Another thing all this shit we
    told the previous agent about verbally is completely lost when they change property managers as there is no written record of anything we’ve said to the agent.

    I ask them to wait until my girlfriend gets back and they say no, we have tenants moving in there (another fucking lie as it is empty over a week later). So I go back there and clean my fucking ass off for like 5 hours taking the place back to what it was 12 years before I moved into the fucking place, and then she wants us to pay for a pest spray which was apparently introduced on a separate piece of paper on a later date as we don’t have a copy.

    So after all this bullshit my girlfriend asks to see the piece of paper saying she has signed off on a pest control and the bitch sais “Why are you arguing over all these little things with me!”.

    I have never dealt with a move condescending rude fuckwit in my entire life and I agree wholeheartedly with the other people on this forum that they have accumulated some serious bad karma hopefully to be repaid in hell with pineapples shoved up their asses.

    Another friend of mine after a year in a property had to pay more than his bond of $1800 to get out of a place, after he added it up he said fuck it never again I should have just walked away and then I wouldn’t have had to clean up after their shitty contract cleaners and paid for pool treatments etc……..

    To all realtors out there, beware payback is a bitch and if we know where you work we can easilly find out where you live. To that whore in broadbeach at a real estate agent named after 100 years followed by the number 21 you better hope I forget your scumbag actions.

  54. D Thomas

    REAL ESTATE agents are arguably the most unpleasant deplorable characters in all non-fiction; jealous and proud of it; petty unjust, unforgiving control-freaks; vindictive, blood thirsty ethnic cleansers; misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicial, pesilential, megalomaniacal, sadomosochistic, capricious bullies; who can’t handle the truth, overdosing on motivational CDs to inflict this upon all asunder. Neither is this an insulated, or solitary example.How can anyone be satisfied with such an inadequate solution of the evils which underlie the whole situation? Fallen foul to each practice from six feet under.

  55. Jim

    What is needed for and on behalf of renters is a ‘Ticka’ style list that rates agents and one where dodgey agents can be reported to if their conduct is less than professional. Ticka exists to enable agents to sum up weather or not a tenant is a fair bet based upon their rental conduct and rental credit history, but unfortunately many renters live in the shadow of the Ticka list as realestate agents happily flaunt it’s consequences in order to push tenants into doing what the agent wants them to do. Ive had agents threaten me with the ticka list over so called cleaning they wanted done in propreties before they would sign off on the bond refund… catch was the things they wanted cleaned didnt even exist in the properties … they were just trying to get that bond! In they the end they got it as the RTA were powerless to do anything but talk (and the agent knew it). Agents have the tenant over the barrel most of the time and many renters just dont know how to deal with them. A ticka style list rating agents and recording their faults and disshonesty would allow the renter to review weather or not they should deal with a particular agent befor signing a lease at all! It would also assit property owners in finding reputable, professional agents that will assit in developing a mutualy cohesive and profitable relationship between the owner and their tenant!

  56. Jimmy

    yup,,,real estate agents are the most fucking people in Australia along with a lot of others. I did dealt with PRD in Brisbane, they are fucking scumbags and I can just say that their brains have been replaced by the animal brains. They don’t have brain at all. they are motherfuckers at all. It is my hard experience to come Australia.
    The RTA is an other fucking people who use the money of tenant but the tenants can’ get the money back as soon possible. They are fucking lazy people who only eat pig from tenant’s money. mother fuckers….

  57. sunmoon light

    100% true, especially in Australia they are shameless and that stems from their predatory preying on those poor people deported from Britain in olden times who were already cursed and had no where to go which made an easy lot to prey-on for this suckers and that tradition has continued till date. I recently came across and advertisement by an estate agents (which also tries to look like a Saint!) for a property they advertise for short term rent of 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 month and 6 months. While showing me property the estate agent gives me rental application form to apply for that property (for 2 weeks!) and than wants to see me if that application gets approved!! Bullshit bastard have no shame. No where in the world except Australia you apply for a 2 week or one month rental term along with lengthy RTAB bond procedure, it just is a simple ID and payment thing anywhere in the world but he he, here it is Australia – a doomed colony passing off as a western developed country and nation,but with no shame or no fear of law to these lots. In fact, it is the only Australian democracy which is so controlled by this crooks, even PM would have no dare to do anything to them but he looks as one of that bloodsucking coterie which Australia has long been infamous for. It is only a colony showing of big talk (on TV) to make it appear as a progressive western democracy but in reality it is a poor doomed colony where vultures are let loose to do whatever they do and they are so powerful that they even blackmail the commonwealth government… it is really a bunch of cons and cheats without any check only in Australia…and how do you check them, will you to fight a legal battle for ages because they insulted you very deeply when you asked for a two week rental? This is a doomed beading cruel bloodsucking place no where fitting in the whole world …and it will have no hope because all system including parliament is filled by wasted interests and it is the only country which has no shame in for even future generation being molded into that same bloodsucking way…

  58. Bogota bill

    Real estate agents love a QUICK sale for cheap so they can move on to the next $10k commission. My elderly aunt and mother got screwed by two sydney pros who sold their house way under market value in just under 2 weeks when the market average is about 4 months. Scum buckets never even advertised in the paper.

    Agents are scum. Sadly i need them to sell my house as i am interstate, and already theyve begun their little game of talk it down for a quick sale. Arseholes. If they dont work hard i will let it sit until their vermin contract is up, pay them nothing and hire someone else or go down and do it myself.

    Cunts

  59. MadMax

    To piss off agents when buying/renting:

    -Book inspections to remote properties and don’t turn up.
    -ask for contract on every property. Ideally delivered to your door.
    -promise to offer an absurd high price and terms and then be very hard to reach for days. When eventually the agent gets you a contract, put a ridiculously low price on it and make them drive out to you to pick the contract up, telling them they’ll see the offer on the contract… Then not be there when they drive up.
    - Be a nuisance at all their opens.
    - ask for a list of comparable properties on a listing you have no interest in
    - promise to have a property for them to sell, which you want a very low price for/are desperate to get out of, then don’t take their calls, then take a call to tell them you sold it off market without their scum help.
    -register at auctions and act very interested, but never bid, or bid in 500 dollar increments when they’re trying for 10k at a time.
    -at auction, ask to clarify loudly, after a seller’s bid, if the previous bid was a ‘fake bid’

    I’m sure there’s much more, but this ought to keep you going for a while.

    Max

  60. SO are you trying to get someone fired using that email address? Or are you that stupid you want to get yourself fired?

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