Crime Scene Investigation

I’ve noticed a tendency for people to try to make their lives, and more specifically their work, seem more exciting than it really is.  Usually, this desperate attempt to appear interesting simply highlights how fucked the person’s life actually is.

I remember years ago I was working in the IT department of an insurance company and there was a new finance system being developed that was code-named “weapon”.  I’m sure the dweebs who thought that one up did it because they imagined they would sound cool chatting up some girl in a bar saying “I work on weapon development.”

Another example I can think of was some scumbag ticket inspectors on a tram one day.  As an aside, I fucking hate ticket inspectors.  And parking inspectors.  Don’t waste my time saying “I’m just doing my job.”  That defence didn’t work in Nuremberg and it won’t work with me.  About six of these wankers were in “plainclothes” on the tram I was riding when all of a sudden they synchronised the revelation of their inspector badges they’d been concealing on a lanyard under their clothes.

I had a ticket so they couldn’t hassle me but I couldn’t stop laughing.  It seemed like they had watched too many episodes of “Law and Order”.  They thought they were some sort of hardcore undercover cops the way they did it so seriously.  I don’t think they appreciated my mirth.

On a similar note, check out this video showing what the dickheads in my local council are up to.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Crime Scene Investigation

  1. I’m all for illegal dumping!!! The council can come and check out my (they gotta be illegal!!!) dumps any time they want (I’ll even hold back from flushing, if they book in advance)…

    Idiots.

  2. That sounds like a case where the crime scene tape should be used to protect the public ;)

  3. LOL

    your council rates at work – crime scene tape, investigators, and, if you’re lucky, a rubbish collection. huh?

  4. Yeah, how much did they waste having that rather limited use tape made up?

  5. It’s coming up to the end of the financial year, Mr A, and this is a prime example of (wasteful) expenditure of public funds “If we don’t spend AT LEAST what they’ve allocated us this Financial Year, they’ll reduce what we get NEXT Financial Year- fuck whether we need this stuff or not JUST SPEND THE MONEY!!!!”

    I love Governments.

  6. Maybe we SHOULD make them come and investigate my dumps…. they’d definitely be earning their keep then, let me tell you!!!

  7. Or to put that another way, where can I get custom crime-scene tape made up?

    There have got to be some uses – how about “Appalingly parked car : Please report any activities.” or “Warning: Bad Boss” taped across the office door. I may need some: “Awful dancing, do not approach” tape to secure the relatives at my wedding.

    Regardless. The important thing to learn is never illegally dump anything with your name and address on it; those forensics types may just manage to pull your DNA off it, and then you’re toast.

  8. liking the idea of custom-printed crime scene tape. i see newlyweds standing on the tram tracks behind my work blocking traffic in both directions. this is because “there’s a good view for the photographer”. if i had “warning: irresponsible, self-absorbed wedding party” tape, i could decorate the limousines! these folks deserve to be toast…

  9. gruntski: you know public bureaucracies all to well, and I agree, they should be subjected to your punishment.

    Massif: I think you have hit on a viable online business – custom made crime scene tape.

    vetti: how entreprenurial are you? I say go out and do it!

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