June 20, 2007...2:16 pm

alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect

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I found this news on Salon.com and felt compelled to throw my 2c in. There’s a “new” over-the-counter drug available in the US that’s apparently flying off the shelves. It’s called alli (note the way trendy lower case!) and I use the term “new” loosely because it’s apparently a lower strength version of a prescription-only drug (Xenical) that’s been around for a while.

So what does this incredibly popular wonder drug do? Well, not to go all Bill Clinton on you, but it depends on what your definition of “do” is. You see, there’s (1)what the drug company markets it as, (2)the medical description of what it does and (3)the biggest effect you’re actually going to notice.

The drug company markets it as a weight loss pill. They say it will give “safe, effective weight loss”. Because it’s FDA approved it must be good. What could possibly go wrong?

A simplified medical description of the drug is that it’s a fat blocker. It stops your body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It doesn’t burn calories. But fat that would have otherwise been absorbed by your body… isn’t. Because fat contains calories less calories will go into your body.

But here’s the most important thing the drug does: it makes you shit oil. Worse, it makes you shit your pants. With oil. This is not the ravings of some fringe conspiracy group, this is what the company tells you itself on its website. Buy our drug if you want to lose weight. Oh, by the way, you’ll end up shitting your pants.

Neat, huh? No wonder it’s selling so well. That large sector of the public that enjoy having their pants filled with liquefied shit has been seriously under-catered to up until now.

The drug company indulges in classic marketing bullshit that really pisses me off but they still fail to obscure the horror of what’s going to happen to you if you take their drug. The first bit of marketing bullshit they spin that makes me want to smack them in the fucking head is the old “eat healthier and exercise more to get the full benefits”.

Hello?!?!?! If you eat less fat and exercise you don’t need their fucking pills. I’m sick of these sleazy companies pretending that they’re promoting health. They’re promoting bad habits and laziness. The subtext to the whole thing is “this drug lets you lose weight with NO exercise and NO change to your eating patterns”. People who can eat healthier and exercise more aren’t interested in this shit. But the company doesn’t think it’ll get away with an advertising slogan along the lines of “Fuck diet and exercise! Take these pills and shit your weight away!”

The second thing they do that pisses me off is deliberately using language designed to obscure the full horror of the effects of their drug. They can’t even come clean and call them “side-effects”, instead going with “treatment effects”. Hell, maybe they’re right, these aren’t side effects. Side effects are incidental to the main effects. Shitting your pants is the main effect of this drug. It literally is the treatment effect.

Try as they might, their weasel words can’t hide how horrible their drug actually is. Following are actual quotes from their website followed by Mr Angry’s no bullshit translation.

Website Bullshit (WSBS): You may get:

  • gas with oily spotting,
  • loose stools
  • more frequent stools that may be hard to control

No BS: The following things will happen to you:

  • You will spray oil when you fart
  • You will have diarrhoea
  • You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels to the point where you shit your pants

WSBS: The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

No BS: Oh dear god. Pizza is one of my favourite foods and these evil fucks have done their best to turn me off it for life. It will be very hard to look at a pizza again without wondering if someone on this drug has taken a shit on it.

WSBS: Eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of these bowel changes. (my emphasis)

No BS: Even if you do cut back on fat, you’re still going to shit oil.

WSBS: …pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect.

No BS: Do not go out in public after taking this drug. You are going to shit yourself. Stay close to a toilet.

WSBS: If you’re getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over.

No BS: Don’t say you weren’t warned. You are seriously going to shit yourself.

WSBS: You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.

No BS: You’re old life is over. Forget what you think you know about your body. You are going to fart uncontrollably. And there will be follow-through. This is not going to be something you want to share.

And my absolute favourite (which is to say, the part of the website that horrifies me most):

“You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.”

Oh. My. Fucking. God. They are so sure you are going to shit your pants they are saying you should accept the inevitable. There is no way to avoid this. So wear dark pants to hide the liquid shit stains. And bring a change of clothes. Because your first set are going to get impregnated with liquid shit.

To me, this is the ultimate evidence that western society is utterly fucked. You can tell people that taking a pill will make them shit their pants uncontrollably. And your pill will be an utterly out of control success.

There was also a link to a video where you could “watch alli in action”. I assume this is a video showing people shitting their pants. I couldn’t bring myself to look. Try a video you might be able to stomach – I’ve done a video version of this post for your viewing pleasure.

441 Comments

  • That’s awesome! Teach people better eating habits through negative reinforcement.

    Of course, it’ll make getting out to do the excersise part a little risky. What ever you do, don’t let one rip in the pool or we’ll have to get greenpeace in to clean up the oil slick.

    I’d love to know how much worse the full strength version is…

  • your words bring joy to what seems like tragedy. thanks.

  • Man, thanks for the laughs X-)

  • Rick - a 'merican'

    Perfectly brilliant, as usual.

    Once upon a time, shortly after beginning work full time in IT as it happens, I asked a physician for help to slow the unbelievable rate at which I was gaining weight due to the sedentary nature of my new job — not that I was eating poorly or too much, mind you — and was cheerfully prescribed the full measure of Xenical.

    The warnings fail to do justice to the cacophonic anointing your world will undergo if you use this digestive Trojan horse. If you are brave enough to venture into public, understand that even if you consume nothing but water and parched fiber, your bowels will deliver something completely indescribable without so much as a hint that you no longer have even a shred of control of your digestive output aperture. No pucker is strong enough to withstand the unatural forces that will exit your body against even heroic efforts to the contrary.

    On the other hand, if you are somehow able to isolate yourself for the necessary extended period of time from society and have the wardrobe, unhindered access to toilets, and ample laundry facilities for the duration, then this is a sure fire way to lose weight. Simply put, after only two or three days of your new way of life using this drug you will never again put a piece of food near your mouth without carefully considering how many fat based calories it contains. You have my word on that.

  • Rick - a 'merican'

    Oh, at the time of my experience, the warnings were even more obscure than those available today.

    When I next saw my doctor and told him of my three day ordeal and that I had flushed the pills down to toilet with the second morning’s ‘treatment effect’ he laughed. Not a chuckle. Not a twitter. A full head-back, open-mouth, belly laugh.

  • that crap my doctor when i visited him about that very subject couple of years ago actually recomended that i forget the thought of using xenical and told me to most likely side effects the non BS version. well finnish doctors arent medical corporations bitches unless you go to private clinic.

  • self_defecating

    Bets are on that vodka with beer chasers is cheaper and less oily. This article made me so happy I could plotz! OOPS! Did–gotta go…

  • Thor - european

    Great writing, I nearly shit myself reading it (pun intended). I just wanted to give a quick rebuttal to Rick.

    Rick: “the unbelievable rate at which I was gaining weight..not that I was eating poorly or too much, mind you”

    Yes you were Rick. You were eating too much.

    The metabolism of a typical male burns through 2200 to 2600 calories a day. Eat less calories and you lose weight. Eat more calories and you gain wait. Math 101.

    End of story. Fat fuck.

  • jesus fucking christ that was funny!! it’s the middle of the night, and I’m trying not to burst out laughing, waking the whole house!!!

    Thor, Rick was moving to a new job- a much more sedentary job where he would gain weight faster because he would be getting less excercise. don’t be so quick to judge someone.

    oh, and not everyone uses 2200 to 2600. I am around 2800, although most people are on the average range (duh?)

  • There is the makings here of an extremely evil practical joke…

  • This is possibly the single best blog post I have ever read. Hilarious and frightening at the same time.

  • Slashdot style troll

    Wow, an opportunity for a link to tubgirl.com to be on topic (note – don’t go to tubgirl.com, she’s on alli)

  • I had heard that the basic operation behind Xenical was “you will shit oil whenever you eat something fatty”. Frankly it strikes me as a great idea – fail to go to gym, nothing bad happens … eat a piece of pizza and splplplplplplplllllll all afternoon.

    My only hope is how abhorred historians are going to be “Round about the turn of the century many members of the western world would rather shit themselves than go to the gym. For real”.

  • With Xenical, the marketing reps did say that if you eat less fat, you’ll have fewer side effects. Most people don’t want to work to lose weight. Cautionary statements on meds aren’t enough for people to heed them. Eat less fat, you’ll exude orange oily stuff out your ass. Eat normal amounts of fat, your life is over since it will be spent in the bathroom.

  • Hilarious!! I took Xenical many years ago. Yeah, if you eat too much fat it will definitely give you a screaming case of uncontrollable diarreah, but as a weight loss strategy it’s a failure for most people.

    First, there is no easy path to weight loss. If there were, Xenical would be a trillion dollar seller and two-thirds of us wouldn’t be either overweight or obese.

    Second, Xenical and it’s lighter weight cousin, Alli are little more than punishment pills which use negative reinforcement to be effective. Users will simply stop taking it when they get tired of it’s effects.

    Third, it isn’t fat, but the massive amount of sugar and cheap grain in the diets of most Americans which has lead to the surge in obesity. Thus, blocking fat doesn’t even address the core problem. Appropriately, an image of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic comes to mind.

  • Hey, Thor – european, are you completely without a shred of humor? Duh. Rick knew why he was gaining weight, you fuckwitted gnome. He was being facetious*.

    *Look it up.

  • I’ve been on Xenical in the past and it’s not as bad as this story makes it seem. You do have oily stools, so much so that it looks like an orange oil slick on top of the water in the toilet. Also, when you fart, it SOMETIMES has a discharge of oil. What I did, and it sounds gross, is take some toilet paper and wad it up and leave it “up in there” in case of a shart. One thing about this story is wrong, though. You WILL NOT shit yourself. You do have control over your bowels. I never lost control, nor did my dad and cousin. It’s a great drug, it doesn’t affect your heart at all, it’s safe and the best thing is, I lost about 60 pounds in 4 months.

  • Senorita Dorkita

    O.M.G.

    I liked your translations into the no BS, thank you for the giggle first thing this AM :)

  • Wow…all I can say is that almost shit my breeches reading this. I am currently in a college class and supposed to be doing research and you made it quite hard to keep a straight face!

  • sounds like Xenical

  • You’re blowing the oily side effect way out of proportion here. Fat-binding drugs have been available over- and behind-the-counter for years now. Yeah it can cause you some trouble if you honestly aren’t expecting it the first time, but most people figure out quick not to try their luck with flatulence while on these drugs. I have never heard of anal leakage from a consumer of this type of drug unless they had a preexisting condition.

  • http://alliconnect.wordpress.com/

    Check out the unofficial alli blog..

    Side effects of Alli could include colon cancer and vitamin deficiency…

    And a lot of bowel movments too it seems…

  • Hilarious post. I can only hope that this is the diet pill that Dustin Diamond took on Celebrity Fit Club. Nothing would make me happier than knowing that his lazy ass was having “gas with oily spotting.”

  • Coool man…i enjoyed reading this!

  • Ahhh Mr. Angry – sharing shitty news with the rest of the world, how SO like you! :)

    I heard Jay Leno going on about this new drug last night and I about died when the “wear dark colors and bring extra pants to work” was revealed. So I ask.. why just ONE pair of pants? huh?? huh? If you are going to shite yourself at work, who says it will only happen once? Seems to me that you might as well carry your whole shit-hiding wardrobe with you, everywhere you go,

    Better living through chemical enhancement? I’m not so sure about that one! ha…ha..!

  • When Xenical first came out, they called it “anal seepage” — not exactly vague haha.

    It does use negative reinforcement to help people control their diets, and yeah some people will stop taking it once they wind up with side effects, but honestly it’s a lot better than the other drugs on the market. It doesn’t have stimulants, and you damn sure won’t get addicted to it. :D It doesn’t affect your heart or brain and if you’ve got the right dosage it shouldn’t really affect your daily activities.

    I haven’t used xenical or alli, but I’m considering giving alli a try. Because there’s much less of the drug, it’s much less likely to cause severe side effects like shitting your pants. But seriously if you had good bowel control before, you should be able to prevent yourself from actually shitting your pants haha.

  • [...] Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect [...]

  • Right on brother! Hilarious and very fucking scary!

  • [...] 20Jun07 a post on a fat-blocking pill called alli. [...]

  • Thor - european

    Hey Jesse, I know that Rick was moving to a more sedentary job.

    The only way that this affects his weight is that he now burns less calories than before, which means that even a retard would know to then eat less food than before.

    Ric didn’t “gain weight faster” because of his new sedentary job, he turned into a fatty because he kept stuffing in the same amount of calories that he used to do when he moved around more.

    Math 101 :)

  • caitlynintherye

    I always hate that! I exercise regularly and eat fairly healthy and balanced meals (aside from the banana waffles I just had for breakfast. My mother, on the other hand, eats terribly- Chic-fil-a for breakfast, eating dinner out every night- on top of rare exercising. She has been raving about how she wants to try this Alli product. If I didn’t love my mother so much, I’d let her try it.

  • Mr Angry rules! This is the best recent analysis of the changing nature of life.

  • I am no fan of weight loss drugs. In fact, there is strong scientific evidence, published by the CDC, that people who use weight loss drugs and dietary supplements are not successful in keeping off weight for the long term.

    However, to suggest that the drug companies don’t want people to exercise and diet in conjunction with their medication is just plain wrong. They do. It is not just marketing b.s. Working out and eating less fatty foods makes their drug work better! Which translates to happy customers and good word of mouth.

    My suggestion to the author of this blog is to take a deep breath, get a glass of water, and take the lithium that you forgot to take this morning. Trust me, you’ll feel better afterwards. And not so angry.

  • [...] An informative review of Alli the weight loss drug… “To me, this is the ultimate evidence that western society is utterly fucked. You can tell peo… [...]

  • That was the fuuniest thing i have read in a long time.

    I am still giggling as i type

    Chris

  • Can’t this, er, “oil”, be used in bio-diesel capable cars? Meaning, er, you can refuel it “on-the-go”?

  • Haven’t enjoyed a blog post like that in a while. Kudos :D

  • That was the most dead-on description of the GSP I have read to-date. It may not have been as funny to me if I had not personally gone through the embarrassment of that experience. I affectionately called them GSPs because I couldn’t tell a bunch of anal-retentive management fucks that I was taking greasy shit pills…that would require too much of a detailed explanation, and in that state I didn’t have the stomach for it.

    Fruit of The Loom loves this stuff.

    That’s some funny shit.

  • That is absolutely classic….

    I need these pills for practical jokes now :)

  • I have heard of this new “diet aid” and remember a check up I had a few years ago with a cardiologist. Oh, the check up went great and I left with a clean bill of health but I remember something he warned me about. Any over the counter “diet aid” he said, was bad for the heart.

    People want a quick fix. But people can lose and have, 100 or over lbs. without this nonsense. Think of what this is doing to the system. I will let the scientific explanation be better explained by doctors or whatever, but the bottom line is…there is no quick fix without a consequence. The poop in the pants is the least of it.

    It tells me a lot though. It tells me that the plumbing inside is being tampered with and that a sacrifice is being made for what, a few pounds?

    The thing the public doesn’t or doesn’t want to get is that just because the FDA approves something and please hear me, just because a medical doctor validates it, that doesn’t mean it is safe for you. People have died from taking prerscription drugs that were “safe” and people have also gotten sick from bad advice.

    I would tell anyone to research this. With the Internet, that is an easy task.
    Don’t waste your money. You’d be better off buying a jump rope. I”m being serious.

  • ” In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.” AHHHHHHHHH!

  • [...] check out this great post about the new diet pill, alli. [...]

  • The company that makes Depends needs to jump on this and start putting coupons inside the box! Synergy in action!

  • That is amazing. Thanks for shedding light for me. I can’t say I wasn’t tempted to pick up a bottle…they really do make it look like a miracle drug.

  • Charles Arcario

    Funny stuff…do you think that if I buy a few cases they can offer me a discount on a colostomy bag? Then I could buy a waterproof IPod case, toss it in the bag, an viola…

  • Arrghhh. Another example of the “instant” mentality that seems to be about to drown the Western world in its own effluent.

    You said it right, “MOVE MORE, EAT LESS” and watch the pounds fall away, end of story.

  • This is cool… I was just this morning wondering why this “miracle product” has suddenly appeared and how it is going to save all of us from the evil of fatness. THANK YOU for your informative rant. Can I take you home with me? :o D

  • Have any of you tried this? The warnings are for those of you that choose to take a diet pill and still stuff your face with fatty foods. those of us that want to lose the weight will use this as a reinforcement in what not to eat. I have used this product and i have never shit my pants :)

  • [...] Jun 20th, 2007 by miriel Great entertainment first thing this morning (especially the translations, IMHO).  Just goes to show, get off your ass and exercise, there is no Magic Pill! [...]

  • [...] too subtle about this although the angry aussie does translate to even less subtle warnings at Why Am I Angry, alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect.  “How do you prevent these side [...]

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect [Angry Aussie/WordPress.com] [...]

  • [...] Filed under: Uncategorized — thetrialsofcheryl @ 1:46 pm K, firstly, this is also quite [...]

  • juxtaposingsynthesis

    I read this, and no offense, I couldn´t believe it, so I went on the website. And I couldn´t stop laughing when I heard people discussing their Bowel Movements (mind you as they call them, their BM´s) I found this absolutely ridiculous…

    EXCERCISE AND NOT EATING AS MUCH…maybe?

  • I think I saw someone who was taking this drug. She was walking down Broadway around 8th St and she had clearly shit her pants. And it was, um, oily looking. Oh and to add insult to injury she was wearing a skirt! It was all the way down both legs to her shoes! This may explain what ha happened.

  • Pills, pills, a nickel a quart,
    the more you eat, the more you fart…
    greasy oil stains, ewww…

    Bet this has a negative side effect while having sex too, yikes, don’t even think about it…

  • [...] the blog of Angry 365 Days a Year comes this interesting bit of info “alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect” on a new diet pill. As I like all my news, not only informative… but entertaining. To [...]

  • [...] 20th, 2007 First…. you should go read about this diet pill… it will make you shit your [...]

  • Thanks for the heads up…

  • I dunno, I kind of find shitting ones pants very hot. It’s like hey, I’m out there, I got shit in my pants. Big deal.

  • [...] a post on Angry 365 Days a Year about a recently FDA approved fat-blocker (aka weight reducer) super pill that some interesting [...]

  • hahaha that was hilarious! thanks for the funny post. i saw a brochure for alli last time i was at rite aid. hmm, oily discharge? not so attractive.

  • [...] not to share June 20th, 2007 Randomly stumbling through the world wide web today, I found this, almost completely by [...]

  • [...] is anything Butt Ah, there is a reason some posts make it to the front of the line… this funny, crass, and very informative post has absolutely reinforced my opinion that THERE IS NO EASY [...]

  • Wasn’t this the whole problem with Olestra, the fat substitute, and the “Wow” chips that Frito Lay came out with? Also, don’t these drugs or fat substitutes make it so that you also don’t absorb fat soluble vitamins from food?

  • man i laughed so fucking hard reading this.
    *note to self: pick up new miracle diet drug today and also a couple pair of dark pants.

    Inno

  • kinda crazy what people will try to loose a pound or two… oil coming out of my ass, ill pass

  • Your no BS version of their warnings is so funny, man! But I would have to say people with common sense should be able to interpret/ translate the warnings into a no BS version. Only the self-delusional would read something like “You may get:

    gas with oily spotting,
    loose stools
    more frequent stools that may be hard to control” and think that they are not going to shit their pants if they eat remain on their usual diets. I mean, the drug works on the principle that it doesn’t allow your body to absorb fat and all the fat you eat has got to go somewhere!

  • [...] y a juste un petit hic gênant avec ce [...]

  • [...] The rest can be found here. [...]

  • Hey, I am glad you are angry! This was an awesome read. I work for a group that studies the real value (and not perceived by the drug companies) of drugs and this is all to common. But it is nice to see people that care enought to make a big deal about these things.

    Our groups site is http://ti.ubc.ca (you don’t have to publish it… I am not trying to advertise!)
    ae

  • It should also be noted that a drastic reduction in fats has been directly correlated with depression and other mental illnesses. But, hey, GSK has pills for that, too. Yay!

  • [...] More about shitting your pants here alli Salon.com Shit your pants Side Effects [...]

  • I can’t help it…lol, you made me laugh for the entire week, when i get sad all i have to do is to remember this.

    I’m even thinking about buying the pill, to make my friends happy, but i think it wouldn’t be funny. It would be depressing, as the actuall “idea” of your post…

  • as someone who’s tried xenical some time ago, i have to admit you’re 100% correct on the shitting oil part. you might be able to stand it for a while, but after the first couple of weeks it gets crazy. luckily i had no public accidents O_o

  • I think we found our answer to the oil shortage????

  • I started reading this at work and started laughing until I cried…. Thanks for this fantastic commentary on the newest diet craze!

  • Wonderful.

  • You’re rad. That made me laugh out loud. All you say is true. Want to get some pizza?

  • Hello? Personal responsibility anyone? Who cares what this drug company advertises it as. We all know advertisements are misleading. At least they flat out say what it does. If you don’t like oily shits, don’t buy the product. Plain and simple.

    Good link-bait though.

  • I went on this Xenical 4 years ago as a prescription drug from my doctor. Everything you say is absolutely true.
    Mind you, they say that desperate people will eat laxatives all day, just to help them lose weight.

    I found my answer last year on formulahealth.org.

  • AHAHAHAHA! Amazing writeup! That was FUNNY!

  • This is what I needed to finally be 100% okay with carrying an extra 10 lbs. on me. Being a size 2 is so not worth being incontinent.

  • I'm on Thor's side

    For those of you feuding with Thor: He is right. There is simply no legitimate counter-argument. Calories in / calories out. You eat more than you burn, you get fat. You eat less than you burn, you lose weight.

    This diet-in-a-pill thing typifies the American attitude to health. No personal responsibility. No personal effort. Just gimme the pill ’cause it ain’t my fault I’m a tub of lard.

    Guess what? If you’re fat, it IS your fault. Stop eating so much.

  • You are hilarious.
    Laugh out loud, PEE yourself hilarious.
    Thanks! I thoroughly enjoyed that!!!

  • [...] just made my daily reading list with one funky, nasty, angry post. Do yourself a favor and read this, please. (not for the faint at [...]

  • I think I just shit oil from laughing so hard.

    And I’m not even taking Alli.

  • My mum is on the slightly tubby side, but as she is severely disabled (born with it, not caused by obesity!), she can’t exercise to shed that little bit of weight – so she took these pills for a while. She swore by them…

    I’m not sure if it’s been picked up on in other comments here, but something you don’t seem to have researched is the fact that you only shit this horrible oily substance (and it IS as bad as you describe), IF you accidentally eat something that’s high in fat…because you’re shitting the fat out.

    Still though, it’s a terrible side effect. Not something that those who CAN exercise should evn consider. Alas, though, they still will.

  • [...] This hilarious blog post gives you the juicy/frightening details about a new over the counter weight loss drug. Disturbing, grotesque material covered in a really, really funny way. [...]

  • **applauds** I couldn’t have said it better myself! I was going to have a post about the new pill but you’ve said it so well, I hope you don’t mind if I link to you. Health and Happiness, Lady Rose

  • @pinkrawkstar:

    Second that!

    This was so freaking funny, now I know what that little “something extra” will be when I’m making holiday cookies for the in-laws this year.

  • i know someone who takes pills like these and gets the same thing. shits his goddam pants all the time. fuck that

  • [...] 20th 2007, 6:53 pm Filed under: alli, pills, fda, weight loss, poop Before you start taking this, check out this post. You may laugh hysterically, and you definitely won’t take the pill unless you are so lazy [...]

  • [...] even included a youtube video in a post that we decided to instead tell all our readers to go read: Alli: miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side affect and his other post which includes the youtube video:  Laugh! I nearly shit my [...]

  • Brilliant analysis of the B.S. jargon on this unhealthy drug. Brilliant how the two big choices they offer those with a chronic lack of self-direction and a chronic poor self-picture is either to have your stomach stapled (possible side effects: your fingernails and hair falling out due to the trauma) or…having to wear a diaper for the rest of your life.

  • Haywood Jagivemeasloppyblowjobthanks

    Has it occurred to you that if people buy a pill and shit their pants, they, I dunno…probably won’t buy the pill again?

    It seems to me that you just ranted, raved, bitched and moaned about a problem that is completely 100% self-correcting.

  • This pill takes the process of infantalizing the adult population to a whole new level.

  • [...] Is alli worth trying? Well, if you’re okay with frequent ‘code brown’ alerts, oily discharge, etc… then sure. I thought for a milli-second about trying it out… but I’m not sure anymore. Permalink You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. [...]

  • Thinking about oil…

    petrol is mineral oil
    colza is vegetable oil
    do you smell where i’m heading?
    well if human can shit oil, we can probably build engines* based upon human-shit oil!!!

    that’s smells like a great opportunity don’t you think?
    every fatty could become a millionaire!!!

    *for those who don’t know, we already have mineral & vegetable oil engines in cars…

  • love love love the comment about tubgirl. By the way, my shitment, i mean shipment is on the way!

  • Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed
    He got really fat and couldn’t get out of bed
    then one day he was zoning to the tube
    and an infomercial had found its perfect boob

    Alli it is, liquid orange, brown tea

    The first thing you know old Jed is toilet bound
    His poor body saying I can’t go another round

    Eating lots of chips is where I outta be
    But I’m stuck on the toilet in complete misery

    Oils spills that is, leaky ass, no tp

  • Very Very Funny. I haven’t laughed like this in a while…sitting here all by myself lololol

  • [...] and feel kinda guilty even making this post but if this is the first place you find a link to his blog entry about a new diet pill so be it. Dam funny stuff… if you like shit your pants humor. Who doesn’t? A LOT of his [...]

  • omg, dude you’re gold, i can’t remember the last time i laughed so hard.i have to read it again!

  • this makes me weep. D:

  • [...] June 20th, 2007 at 1:00 pm (RANDOM) Finally I found someone who writes more angrily than I do, and even has no qualms about talking about people crapping their pants.  Hence I must pass it on.  Please read the Angry Aussie’s blog: click here. [...]

  • You’re linking to the wrong article on Salon.

  • Wow, I about shat myself reading your article. Very Funny! Thank you!

  • sounds like a new oil source to me.

  • Everything about this is wrong. So very wrong.

  • [...] the oilY poop diet pill! June 20, 2007 Filed under: what? — mel @ 12:40 pm This post from Angry Aussie has me LOL’ing, and thanking my lucky stars as well, that I never chose to go on Xenical for [...]

  • Very funny. I guess the secret of ths pill is, that you actually start less fat, since you look at food in a “how oil much will I shit after I´ve eaten this”-way. And so the pills main effect might be educationally: You end up eating carrots and apples. Especially if you have no change of pants with you.

  • [...] by leogetz on June 20th, 2007 Some recommended reading I found the subject funny as well as [...]

  • Hi AA,

    Thanks for this post. I linked up to it on my blog today.

    So sad that an attractive size 16 person cannot be led to believe they are wonderful the size they are and not long for size 6 to the point of taking a PILL to block fat absorption. Yes, willful gluttony has its health risks. However, the women on the *alli* site all look healthy and beautiful to me the size the appear to be.

    -Melina

  • [...] sure what the protocol is in referencing other blogs or giving them a shout out, but here is the link [...]

  • [...] 20th, 2007 by Run Up The Score! No thanks, I’ll just buy a treadmill and stop going to [...]

  • oh my god…too fucking funny! The xenical is just as bad…Kevin Smith (clerks, dogma) wrote a piece on using xenical for weight loss in his book “Silent Bob Speaks” dude, everything they say is true…and worse!

  • No shit, but I just almost peed myself from laughing. Very funny post, and yes, a sad commentary on the state of our society.

  • [...] angryaussi had me laughing out loud with this posting of a new  miracle diet pill with teeny tiny side [...]

  • Oh, this is a great post!

    Whenever I see the tiny letters at the bottom of the screen that say, “When used in combination with proper diet and exercise” I usually just roll my eyes, and yell “Crock!” at the TV.

  • Mandy Henderson

    Oh my god, i haven’t laughed so hard in so long. I have tears running down my cheeks. GREAT JOB on that post, it’s so true! I think i might have shit myself just reading it!!!

  • LOL! Tiny side effect, I picture millions of desperate “dieting” people being chased by tanks with American flags……and declared an enemy, to get there anal oil.
    I am a bit sick with a vivid imagination, which Is why I avoid leaving comments, but I just had to this time.

  • [...] miracle-diet-pill-with-teeny-tiny-side-effect [...]

  • [...] masses as to what they might be in for if they take this magic pill, but this fantastic man beat me to the punch. Warning: This post is utterly gross, but very, very [...]

  • *stares at slice of pizza in hand then throws it in the garbage* Very persuading and effective.

  • This is perfect!! 1. Buy an older diesel vehicle, and convert for biofuel. 2. Take Alli. 3. Free fuel for how ever much longer you live! Brilliant!

  • Freeking hilarious… i can’t belive how desperate our fat country is to lose weight the “easy way”. Great article!

  • I have a sports blog through wordpress and I’m so glad I happened upon this blog by chance. This was the funniest shit I have read in a long time.

    I can’t believe there are products like this on the market.

    I laughed out loud the entire time. Haven’t done that in a while.

    Thank you so much for this. Mad props.

  • Wey aye man, a likely story! lol

  • This drug reminds me of Olestra the additive they put in chips as olean in the late 90’s. There was no farting after eating those chips… I found out the hard way the real definition of a leaker. :) great post.

  • Thor is still a fuckwit

    Of course Rick knew why he was gaining weight. Most people if they are honest with themselves know why and they usually don’t change what they eat when they change jobs. So unless they add an after work activity to burn the calories that they aren’t using at the new job that they did at the old one, they will pack on the weight. It is also true that many IT people have horrible eating & sleeping habits which makes it even worse: job induced sleep deprivation often leads to consuming snacks & caffeinated soft drinks at all hours of the night and screwed up metabolisms. The same is often true for truckers.

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect I found this news on Salon.com and felt compelled to throw my 2c in. There’s a “new” over-the-counter […] [...]

  • [...] me, I know how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off, but taking this? I don’t think so.read more | digg [...]

  • Pffft, we have had xenical over the couter for years in australia. I’m a pharmacist and this stuff actually works. The side effects are bad but only if you eat fatty meals, so it acts a reinforcement to stay away from the fatty meals whilst your on the xenical. Trials have also shown that Xenical also works better when compared to placebo. i will say this though xenical just helps it doesnt solve the problem

  • Ohmygosh! Funniest post ever, I love your version of it all! I saw this pill advertised on TV last night about 4am. Forgot about it till I saw your entry show up on the dashboard top 10 or something here at WP =) Great post hehe, I’m totally grossed out now.

  • [...] Angry Aussie blog on the side-effects of a new diet pill. It ain’t pretty. Posted in [...]

  • [...] So THAT’s what the small print says? 20 06 2007 If you’re up for a good laugh, you’ve GOT to check this guy’s post out! [...]

  • What a shitty diet.

  • alli TV spot

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=4n5rnMbwQb4

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  • This is absolutely the most hilarious thing I’ve read in my entire life! My girlfriend disagrees with your thoughts on the uselessness of this drug, citing the companies instructions of only eating less than 15 grams of fat per meal. I of course follow your train of thought and feel that it’s a complete waste. Any moron that actually drops their hard earned cash on this product deserves to to get a dump truck full of pizza shit oil dumped on their head!

  • [...] I promise, I’ll put out a new post later tonight… but for now, enjoy this little story about a Miracle Diet Pill… with a teeny tiny side effect. [...]

  • Thanks so much for posting this. I was talking to my mom about this drug this morning, actually.

    She works for a pharmaceutical agency (prescription stuff – they don’t make drugs) and says all the pharmacists swear by this garbage.

    I wrote them a letter and can’t wait to see if I get a response…excuse the few cuss words:

    “Hello, myalli.com and GlaxoSmithKline!

    I just wanted to drop in and say THANK YOU!! to your marketing department! :)

    By the way, YOU should thank your web content generating employees for posting statements such as:
    “You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.”

    “If you’re getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over”

    I’m saying thank you for being honest about your ass-exploding pill’s side affects.

    Usually I would write a well-written letter to express my thoughts, however – your entire company is unacceptable to the point of angering me.

    Not only are you promoting a drug that targets women and contributes to their low self esteem, your drug renders its users useless in society – from fear of shitting their pants.

    So…a big FUCK YOU to myalli.com and GlaxoSmithKline!

    Have a great day (hope you brought an extra outfit..)

    Thanks,
    Kasey

    P.S.
    The e-mail address is correct – please feel free to contact me so I can respond to your PR bullshit.”

  • [...] need to go read this article. This is very [...]

  • Well, whoever prefers shitting oil to actually taking care of themselves and eating reasonably probably deserves alli anyway. It’s a match made in heaven. I wouldn’t be too harsh on them unless they come near my pool.

  • Oh my god, absolutely funniest post I’ve read in years.

    I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe…

    Thanks, I needed that!

  • Hey, bud;

    Apparently the business term “synergy” is lost on you.

    This “alli” is a fantastic product…first-rate, tip-top!

    Did you ever consider the impact of the public using this product on the adult incontinence undergarment market?

    I’ll betcha that the board of directors at “alli” did…as well as the boards of directors of undergarment manufacturers.
    (A lot of the same people just may sit on both boards)

    And if they happened to invest in each others’ stock?

    “Synergistic”!

    See how that works?

  • thyelitegenes

    freaking hilarious! I’m gonna go shit now. (:

  • I’ve been a personal trainer for 10 years. When Xenical first came out one of my clients was on the drug. I was able to talk her to go off it after a couple months… but I will say this. She told me she pooped baby oil! Ew.

  • This was the funniest post I have ever read in my entire life. Amazing.

  • [...] 21st, 2007 A brutal, side-splittingly funny post by Mr. Angry today. Given that I’m always worrying about my weight and that my commentary on [...]

  • You know what makes me feel even more depressed? The fact that things like this get approved by a supposedly “serious” institution.

  • southernfriedfatty

    Thanks for the laugh! Maybe alli could team up with Depends adult diapers for a marketing campaign.

    “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”
    — Henry Mencken

  • hearingthings

    They should start selling mass quantities of perfume or febreeze with the alli to combat the ever lingering stinch of shit. I guess from now on when you walk past a skinny bitch and she smells like shit, you won’t look to see if she’s a brown nosing bitch anymore, you’ll just say “Oh wow alli really does work”. lmao!

  • Would this be a good time to divest my portfolio and invest in depends?

  • luckyearthling

    very funny

  • Wow.

    We should all be proud to be American at a moment like this.

    This article was the FUNNIEST thing i’ve read in years. It was so damn true it was humerous.

    Who in the world would shit themselves just to loose weight?!

  • That was wonderfully brilliant.

    What I’m afraid of, though, is that many people will probably proceed to try the product after reading this entry.

  • [...] for HER, I’m up at 1am and was logging into my blog when this posting, thanks to WordPress website for putting up popular posts, caught my [...]

  • I didn’t bother to read all the million and one comments but suffice to say this goes on all the time and has for decades (aka corporate ambush): look at the way they tout vaccination as a guard of life. It’s in effect the same propaganda, but bullshit in reality. Why put something in your body that has all these shyte contra-indications that we know about, but they say it is all worth it because (and this is what I really like: a bunch of “scientists” miraculously becoming psychics) if you don’t you will die or become all fucked up because of some disease – never mind the fact that what you’re forcing into your body has it’s own issues!
    But hey, people are sheep these days and will do things because of the fear bred into us.

  • The people in my office are telling me to go home already because I am laughing so hysterically.
    And unfortunately I think I may have first hand experience with these symptoms, ever eat those chips made with Olestra? Another diet demon that results in oily shit.
    Truly, thanks.

  • living4better

    I actually read about this today.. it was a little fold out pamphlet in a magazine.. I got quite a laugh out of “treatment effects”. Screw up by eating to much fat and your treatment effect will be shitting all over yourself. I guess that would be incentive to not eat.

  • random excited costomer

    Oh boy this is just what I’ve been looking for. I can’t wait, I think I might shit my pants just thinking about it… Yep. Oh this is great, what ever would I do without it.

  • Ah so the good news is that although I’m not going to take this drug in a million years I am going to lose weight as I will never look at a pizza again let alone EAT ONE! EUWWWW

  • This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long long time. It’s hard to believe they could put such blatant shit on their site. I hope -THEY- are wearing dark pants.

  • [...] Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work (tags: food diet medicine) [...]

  • As a personal chef and as an advocate of heathy eating, I would like to ask people not to rely on GMO products and/or meds. Think back 300 years. Did we rely on Pharm for our nutritional needs? No. We were one with the land, walked more, ran more, and ate what is now toted as “real food”. Truth is, natural non-processed fat actually helps absorbs nutients into the bloodstream. I hope many of you watch and enjoy Michael Moore’s new movie Sicko’. It has some very good points and kinda puts America to shame as far as health care issues. But the caviat, the richest and most well endowed country, and even the richest state in the union as far as fresh produce and viable livestock are concerned, has yet to garner the respect of the world on being able to produce a viable standard of heathy food, and more importantly, a viable model of how riches of the world can corrupt a perfectly good thing.

  • Caution: This medication will most likley make you want to take a walk in the out of doors, ride a bike, eat more vegitables, drink tea, eat more garlic and ginger, watch less TV, discover Mate’, and more or less totally jack up your life.

  • It’s funny and unbeliaval interesting I think. But it can make somebody really foolish. That’s all.

  • anonymous coward

    i have not laughed that much in a long time!

  • Neither have i

  • [...] would ask you to read the post about Alli at angryaussie - hilarious, frightening and true as well! I guess nobody could sum it [...]

  • Oh come on people! You fail to see the true potential here. Just think about it, now you have a way to lose weight and you can use the damn oil as bio fuel for your car. How cool is that? You keep yourself in “good health” and help save the environment too, so shit away!

  • lmao
    dude your to funny for words

  • Well…does it really bother you that they pfffft oily gas? However, they do pose harzard….oil slick on the shopping mall. hehehe

  • Hahaha… I’m shitting down oil out of sheer laughter.

  • I took this shit (pun intended) back when it was prescription only and called Xenical. Without getting too gross, I did ruin a couple pairs of chinos while on this stuff! And it didn’t help me lose any particular weight anyway.

  • Xxxxxxxx Xxxxx

    Omg… you are funny.

    I’m bookmarking this blog.

  • Not true – “They’re promoting bad habits and laziness. The subtext to the whole thing is “this drug lets you lose weight with NO exercise and NO change to your eating patterns.”

    They do promote a healthier diet and excercise. Alli is to be used as a tool for weight loss. They said it themselves, “there is no magic pill.” If you eat the recommended lower fat diet you won’t have the treatment effects. How is that the same same as what you wrote, “no change to your eating habits.”

    My guess is that you and most of your commentors have never had a weight problem and there is so much more to it than “Duh, eat less, move more = weight loss.” Food for some is an addiction and it’s used to replace something else that is lacking. Obviously that doesn’t work but ask anyone who is fat if they like being that way. The answer is obvious and if it were that simple, there wouldn’t be any fat people. Anything negative you’ve ever thought about a fat person doesn’t compare to the dialogue that goes on their heads. It’s easy to judge, but apparently not so easy to have some sympothy.

  • sydneyalli – “there is so much more to it than “Duh, eat less, move more = weight loss.” ” – Rubbish! You eat less, you exercise more, you will lose wait, end of story. And, if you do just that you won’t need to shit yourself as well.

    “if it were that simple” – it is that simple, you just need to get off your fat arse.

    “It’s easy to judge, but apparently not so easy to have some sympothy.” – It is easy to judge. It’s also easy to eat less and exercise more. Of course you could always just pop pills instead …

  • [...] Published júní 21st, 2007 úff hér er ekki fyrir viðkvæma. Ekki lesa ef þið eruð að borða; alls ekki ef þið eruð að borða [...]

  • [...] Miracle Diet Pill Side Effect: You Shit Your Pants [Thanks Matt] “That large sector of the public that enjoy having their pants filled with liquefied shit has been seriously under-catered to” [...]

  • wow .thats was one hell of a blog..
    good work dude

  • [...] June 21, 2007 Posted by Rambling Man in World Affairs. trackback I’ve just surfed across this blog post, by the very funny Angry [...]

  • [...] Shit, I Read Salon.com So You Don’t Have To — Aunt B. @ 8:32 am I can add nothing more to this hilarious take-down of alli, except to add that the publicity department that is able to gloss over the fact that this drug is [...]

  • Just emailed the National Association of Pizzeria Operators about their fine product being compared to oily poo. Perhaps they will sue for product defamation or whatever it’s called. One can only hope.

    bb

  • typingisnotactivism

    (- -)

    thankyou mr angry, that’s either nostrils or boobs to say thanks for the No BS versionification, and shining a compassionate light where it’s sorely needed.

    It is indeed a tragedy of the modern age that some people have to self-medicate so that they can spontaneously fart oil in awkward moments – simple pleasure which the rest of us tend to take for granted. *sflurp*

  • There is an old joke about a fellow who contracts a disease while on a business trip in asia
    His doctor tells him that he has to have major surgery of amputation.
    The fellow is in a daze and wandering around when he see the shingle of an foreign doctor – an asian doctor.
    The doctor examines the patient – lists the aggressive treatment offered by the local , western trained , physician.
    Yes yes says the patient.
    The foreign doctor advises – no to worry.
    No such aggressive treatment is necessary.
    leave it alone.
    It will shrivel and fall off itself with no further action needed or medication needed.

  • It’s unfortunate, but it seems that some people would rather wear Depends than leave that last Twinkie alone. Scary.

  • I laughed so hard – thanks I needed that!!! Everything I thought of about alli but couldn’t put to words the way you did!!

  • I’ve noticed the new alli commercials but couldn’t believe the FDA would put their okay on such a drug while we’re still waiting for more important scientific breakthroughs… did they not advertise / hype weven before the drug was on the market? How smart, gotta give em that. But wait – the weight-loss industry in a billion dollar market every pharmaceutical company MUST have their hands in. The side-effects you describe sound even harsher than the side-effectsof Olesta chips. And those I was always too afraid to try, too… out of fear that I poop myself! *lol*

  • Thank you! This made me laugh out loud. It’s so ridiculous, I just can’t believe it’s real. I was, shall I say, a little more reserved in my blog post about Alli, but I share your sentiments. This is hilarious, appropriately irreverent, and angry.

  • [...] I can do hump day hilariy you must go and read  this blog. Go ahead—I will [...]

  • Thanks for the laughs!

    The drug companies seem to have Americans right where they want them. Got a problem? Take a pill. The people ignorant to take this pill are likely NOT to read about the “treatment effects”.

    As for the FDA – they seem to have a pretty bad track record of late.

    There’s only one way to lose weight and keep it off. Proper diet and exercise.

  • [...] from the Angry Aussie Oh my sweet goodness, ROFLMAO alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year that is freaking hilarious … where do I buy some … how do I get it into my enemies [...]

  • Hi-fucking-larious!

  • It’s just. So. Wrong.

  • Anyone remember Olestra? It was a food additive that essentially did the same thing. Imagine pigging out on you favourite chips and having an Alli-attack! MadTV had a great take on it and called the ‘treatment effect’ anal leakage. They made fun of a new Olestra that had 10% less anal leakage and proceeded to demonstrate for 10 minutes in a mock infomercial how much less anal leakage is 10% less anal leakage. Classic! More on Olestra here:

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra

  • [...] the Bizarro World. I realized that I needed to stop taking this drug when I was becoming envious of those who have been racing to bathrooms to prevent crapping their pants. The indigestion was really [...]

  • O the fun you could have with this product and your ex, or the ex’s dog or the ex mother ……

  • I don’t agree with that at all… unless you try it and follow the directions you don’t have much right to bash it. I’ve read the directions, am sticking to a healthy diet like they suggested and have had zero shitting of the pants or any “treatment” effects.

    If it helps obese people who seriously need to take off weight and are willing to put in the hard work as well it’s a good thing.

    It’s the people who want to take a magic pill and still eat like gluttons that are going to shit their pants… which in a way they deserve.

  • [...] So here I sit, enjoying a cup of coffee, doing important things like… reading things on the internet.  Such as this highly informative article about the sinister side of alli, the newly-minted king of weight los…. [...]

  • [...] basks in the afterglow! Hah! And in doing so, I took a blogwalk and came upon this. And then I laughed myself into an asthma [...]

  • [...] Of The Day alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect Oh. My. Fucking. God. They are so sure you are going to shit your pants they are saying you should [...]

  • [...] An explanation of the new FDA approved alli weight-loss drug and it’s various hilarious &#8220… [...]

  • [...] poor niece is named Allie. I sure hope this pill is out of fashion before she hits fifth grade. But here’s the most important thing the drug does: it makes you s— oil. Worse, it makes you [...]

  • Shit oil. Yum.

  • LOL, thanks for this.

    i never laughed so hard in my life i think i shit my pants damn alli.

  • Alasdair – Of course diet and excercise equal weight loss! What you are failing to recognize is the mental and physical addiction that food holds over some people. Having many years in the mental health field, I’ve seen so many lives controlled by a feeling of emptiness. Some choose food to fill that void. It is an immediate gratification, it doesn’t dissapoint, it doesn’t judge. If you don’t have that problem it’s easy to judge and be rude about it too. I’m not promoting alli, I just don’t think losing weight for everyone is as easy as you want to think it is. Let’s compare it to smoking. It stinks, it looks stupid, it’s offensive and causes numerous health problems, much like being overweight. Why don’t smokers just quit! That’s easy to say if you are not addicted to nicotine. You must not be addicted to food or you’d already know this. Stop judging those who are. I guarantee no fat person WANTS to be that way. I bet you don’t really WANT to be rude, but you just can’t help yourself either. Maybe you are filling some voids too.

  • [...] Here’s the link to the blogger’s post which, I GUARANTEE you, is worth the 5 minutes it will take to read it. [...]

  • [...] . . . this is the FUNNIEST thing I have read all week . . . funny, and yet sad at the same time . . . because we still live in a society that tries to [...]

  • SO, where can I buy this wonderful product?

  • [...] oily, violent shits, go for it. But (and that’s a big butt), be prepared for the effects. Angry 365 Days a Year has visited their website and provided the translation, so I don’t have to: Website Bullshit [...]

  • [...] Some Oil and Lose Some Weight! Click here and read this blog post about this new weight loss pill. I almost died [...]

  • Don’t know what all the fuss is about; it’s just a kind of chemical nudge for your conscience. Not the kind of nudge that taps you gently on the shoulder, but one that reminds you to control what you eat by filling your pants with oily shit.

  • [...] side effects of a new diet pill on sale in the US, which I caught by chance just now. It’s at http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/2007/06/20/miracle-diet-pill-with-teeny-tiny-side-effect/ and is a stark, oily brown warning to those of you, like me, who are of a round disposition, and [...]

  • I took the perscription form of this medication.
    Of course it is supposed to be used along with a proper diet and exercise program. I lost fifty pounds but I had to stop taking it. I was going broke having to buy all those new clothes and under wear.

  • Funny conversation took place between my mom and I when she urged me to try this new diet pill. She begins to tell me that I might shit myself if I eat more than 15gms of fat per day. I’m like…I don’t need a bottle of diet pills to shit myself. I can do it and it not cost me a dime if I have the urge to embarrass myself like that! Why would anyone want to take this pill if they KNOW they are going to shit themselves. Are the makers of this “miracle drug” really serious!

  • re:Pizza is one of my favourite foods and these evil fucks have done their best to turn me off it for life.

    They’re probably hoping that is true for the majority of the people reading, hence you will lose even weight from increased food aversions.

    (Great post, btw.)

  • haha at it “makes you shit oil” lol

  • [...] me illustrate by pointing to another example that I have seen on the internet. This example is a blog article that popped up when I went into WordPress.com. (**Warning** This site contains some pretty graphic [...]

  • Mmm… Did anyone say pizza!?

  • [...] In: Oilslick in your Underwear Reading this almost made me ruin my computer monitor by spitting iced tea on [...]

  • [...] voilà. Also for your entertainment:  this has been “blog of the minute” for the last two days on wordpress, and it really is entertaining, so I share. Warning: [...]

  • [...] in Introductions at 11:37 pm by Katherine This alli drug is f-ed up. I’ll let the Angry Aussie [...]

  • TiltedLunatic & Heavenly1

    A close friend sent me a link to your blog. Oh. My. God. I have not laughed so hard in weeks! We sat here laughing so hard, until she almost threw up; I thought I would need CPR. Thanks for giving us the down and dirty on alli, straight with no chaser.

    Here’s to your rapier wit. I will never look at extra cheese pizza the same again, or macaroni and cheese, or lasagne…forget the oil and vinegar dressing, hold the mayo! laughing our asses off!!!

  • Just a note: Maltitol, a common sugar-substitute in things like sugar free candy (I’ve noticed it particularly in caramel-tasting sugar free candy) can have side effects somewhat like those described by alli … it doesn’t pass fat directly through the body, but it can cause cramps/gas/diarrhea (even in relatively small doses, like 3 pieces of sugar-free candy). It acts like a pretty effective laxative – maybe not as intense (or disturbing-sounding) as this new “alli,” but still, bowel-related “treatment effects” are not limited to drugs alone. Try a generous serving of sugar free honey (pretty much 100% maltitol) and you’ll see what I mean – and it’s not even prescription-based!

  • The Colbert Report just made mention of this stuff :->

  • [...] June 21st, 2007 in Uncategorized This morning I happened on this blog post.  I think it was on my WordPress sign-in page.  So I clicked and started reading.  I was [...]

  • omg! an entire nation of oily butts!

  • O.M.F.G. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long, long time. You, sir, are the shit.

  • [...] 21st, 2007 at 8:21 pm (Uncategorized) LINK But here’s the most important thing the drug does: it makes you shit oil. Worse, it makes you [...]

  • A reason to be angry tday if u’re an aussie

    http://fontsu.wordpress.com

  • geez this is crazy

  • Wow! what a great rant. Easily the finest and most eloquent rant on the tricky subject of ‘Anal Seepage’ that I’ve read in ages.
    Where the hell do I GET some of this stuff?
    I want some for my BIRTHDAY PARTY!

    Just think…One little pill and your underpants look like something from a David Cronenberg movie!

    God, I love the 21st century.

  • [...] Disturbing but I can’t look away I was reading some of the top posts from the other day and this one was about a diet pill that had well unfavorable side affects.   Read here [...]

  • [...] 22 06 2007 Been reading Angry Aussie for a while but this is definetly one of his funniest posts. I can’t believe such a pill actually [...]

  • [...] Untitled alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • [...] so hard, that I almost discharged in my pants like someone abusing Alli. Check out his blog HERE – it should have you laughing hysterically as [...]

  • Hilarious. My doctor put me on the prescription version of this a few years ago called Xenical. I took it for about a day till I realized if I was having such a hard time losing weight that I was willing to shit myself to do it there might be other issues at play here.

  • This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time. My stomach is still sore from all the laughing.

    Thanks mate :-D

  • interesting…I used fat blockers containing chitosan…which is powdered shrimp shells…and I didn’t pass any oil at all. I could indeed see the fat but it was more like butterscotch chips. And I did lose weight.

  • OMG.
    I knew there was a catch.
    I’ve been seeing it freaking EVERYWHERE, it’s really annoying.
    Low fat diet and exercise. If you’re doing that, it’s what’s losing you the weight, not the goddam pill.
    Stupid diet marketer people today.

  • [...] So…I sign off with a link to the blog post that inspired me to throw in my own two cents. It is both hilarious and disturbing. Please read it. [...]

  • You rule! It’s time people are made aware what these “slimming pills” are really about.

  • [...] you, but i don’t remember what it was. meanwhile, here’s something that made me go, “holy shit, i’d rather be fat!” Posted by siriuslyhardcore Filed in [...]

  • The weight loss with alli is supposed to be 2-4 pounds a MONTH. Seriously, less fat, modest exercise generally proposes 2 pounds a WEEK.

  • [...] behind hidden doors just another blog « the story of the chicken who (sort of) crossed the road. part 1. random link June 22nd, 2007 as soon as i saw this post, i knew i just had to share it. it easily describes what i like to call “first world problems”. you can read it c/o the angry aussie at http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/2007/06/20/miracle-diet-pill-with-teeny-tiny-side-effect/ [...]

  • this is not an oily underwear response but only a noticing of a melbourne comedy festival association:

    Did you know:
    Ramadan is as good at enforcing annorexia as pooing your pants, and both better than the bullemia option.

    Also, if you are like me, you could try visiting a remote Aboriginal community and pick up the gardia germs which have every body shitting freely there; I notice this morning even the aussie Army is getting in on the act at the Prime Ministers expense.

    Alternatively, you might like to read my blog defaming the situation in a more serious way, although, it must be said that the developments in the remote Aboriginal consciousness of all Australians are really conducive to shitting fat with regularity.

  • Yeah…this country has been going crazy for a while now. Fad diets and fraudulent miracle pills. What they don’t realize is a simple rule that is so FUCKING obvious. If you want to lose weight:

    1) Eat healthy and in moderation
    2) Get off your ass and exercise

    Thank you and check out my blog @ stancelspencer.wordpress.com

  • Yosemite Indian

    I heard they are not going to sell alcoholic drinks to Aboriginals in Australia, is that true? I am an Native person and find that strange, yet alcohol has been terrible to many Native communities including mine own, but to single out one group is odd.

  • Oh this is just so brilliant I shat myself…Off to don a nappy, will be back shortly to read it again…

  • [...] Miracle diet pill with teeny tiny side effect… [...]

  • LMFAO … That has to be one of the best articals I have ever read. PRICELESS!!

  • [...] dieetpillen doen je oncontroleerbaar poepen   alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect Angry 365 Days a Year lang stukje tekst, maar erg de moeite kom erop neer dat alli (soort xenical) – die veel verkocht [...]

  • [...] thing I can do. Yeah, I look like hell in a swimsuit according to some people who want me to take alli but I’m not going to do it. I pride myself in not pooping in [...]

  • [...] god damned pill EVER Check this [...]

  • I can already see the spam messages now:
    Deals on Viagra and alli…for the hardcore pervs out there!
    Warning: this combination really is not for the faint of heart.

  • Sooooo funny! thank you, I rarely get to laugh like this.

  • OMG! You’re post made me shoot water out of my eyes. I have to dry off the computer screen now. I can’t stop laughing. Thank you. That was great!

  • [...] taking a brief look at the website, I can see that the Angry Aussie is spot on with his observations. At the end of his post, Angry Aussie translates for the layman the pharma bullshit from the [...]

  • Absolutely hilarious article!

    http://mikeelliottsblog.wordpress.com

  • wordsmithlegacy

    I can’t stop laughing. The FDA and the pharmaceutical company’s can suck my nuts.

  • I’m laughing so hard, I have tears streaming out of my eyes. Hey, that’s better than oil out of my ass! Thanks so much for the good laugh!

  • They called it “leakage” on the news. I prefer your explaination.

  • Not only will a drug like Alli (Orlistat) drain your butt dry, it will also do so with your wallet! Save your money, and diet and exercise !

    Here is my Take on ALLI :

    http://www.themorbidme.com/2007/06/alli-the-new-we.html

  • OH SHIT. DID I FORGET TO TURN OFF THE IRON? GOTTA GO, NO TIME TO COMMENT.

  • [...] far the funniest thing I have read about this BY FAR is located here. It is my absolutely COMMAND that you click it, like NOW, and go read it. I read it to M last night [...]

  • Oh my gawd I laughed so hard at this post of yours that I couldn’t breathe. Thanks for the hilarious words of brilliance-
    Catherine, the redhead

  • Oh dear God! I haven’t laughed that hard in some time. Sadly, you are absolutely right. The masses can be a bunch of lemmings. It’s no wonder Bush is in – twice!

  • I laughed so much I nearly shat myself! Just as well I’m not using ‘alli’!

  • too funny! I love it!

  • This was too funny. Didn’t they try something years ago like this in potato chips? I think it was called Olean.. Or Olestra or something.. They tried to use it in potato chips to block fat absorption. Same thing.. You’d poo oil.

    http://www.olean.com/

  • At last a way for one who does not keep Kosher to get some help with pork fat/oil. I will have to tell my gay friends about this lube.

  • This has gotta be one of the most outrageous things I´ve read in my whole life! I still can´t figure out why some people would want to go on laxatives all day, just for the sake of weight-loss, but I guess that´s the way it is. Well, I guess if some people would go puking all day long, they also go shitting all day! lol.

  • Oh my god! I was late Clocking OUT at work because i was cracking up and had to read the entire thing! How funnay are you! This is hilarious!

  • Whatever happened to good old fashioned liposuction.

  • OMG. WTF. I can not believe the FDA would allow something like this.

  • omg i just read another blog where the writer mentions a huge problem:
    theater seats!!! the “stain” cannot be wiped out. the smell stays too. they will only come out with bleach. even with bleach it is very hard to remove. i am taking a seat cushion to the theater from now on!

  • [...] it’s magic! alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • geekontheloose

    Thank you – I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks!

    Just one more piece of proof that Eddie Izzard was right – America is the new Rome. At least Rome set aside vomitariums for this crap… we’re all doing it out on the streets in our trendy, newly loose-fitting dark pants with oilstains on our cracks!

  • [...] alli: Miracle Diet Pill With Teeny-Tiny Side Effect HERE [...]

  • [...] a hilarious point-by-point take-down of alli <a href=” http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/2007/06/20/miracle-diet-pill-with-teeny-tiny-side-effect/ ” target=”_blank”>here</a>, if you need a little snark to brighten the [...]

  • good lord that’s funny.

    but remember when they first introduced those lay’s potato chips that tasted like fat but contained no fat?

    the warning label said people who ate the chips might experiece “anal leakage.”

    and they eventually pulled them from the market.

  • [...] [HUMOR] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect (angryaussie.wordpress.com, 127 saves, 100 inbound links, 1533 diggs) [...]

  • OMG…I just posted a translation from marketing-speak to plain English of alli’s weight loss bullshit on my blog (http://gracefulflavor.net), and I noticed yours in WordPress’s Top Posts.

    We wrote pretty much the same post. Hilarious.

    I think, between our two posts, we pretty much used the word “shit” enough to kill it.

    Good post. Thanks for the laughs.

    –JV
    GracefulFlavor.net

  • my 17 yr old son has just been put on these as he put on weight while recovering from cancer treatment,so our doctor prescibed these little devils, he has only been on them 4days and has had enough,talk about poop for england,i know there is a warning but i think they should highlight it , my son is gonna wait until he can weight bear and lose weight the old fashioned way,diet and exersise.we stumbled upon this blog,and my son hasnt laughed so much in weeks,i shouldnt be funny but it is,if your thinking about going on these pills .THINK AGAIN,YOU WILL HAVE NO LIFE OR FREINDS.also they are not suppossed to suppress the apittite,my son ate like a horse before taking these,now he eats nothing,very scary and he is insulin dependant diabetic,we were told that there should be no problems apart from the oil slick constantly coming out of his butt,so i am going to email the company and highlight this area as for diabetics to miss lots of meals is a very big deal,BEWARE OF ORLISTAT.love samantha xx

  • [...] for the chance of losing 5.5 kg; and that a whole heap of people are paying for the privilege of crapping their pants with orange poo oil and sharing tips on carrying an “Alli-oops!” bag for those little [...]

  • I laughed out loud reading this post. The fact people are buying this says so much about how messed up our society. And the fact that I’m kind of thinking about it….

  • Thank you for making me laugh out loud!

  • I was considering getting these pills until a) I saw that it would only increase my current weight loss by 20% and b) that I would not be able to leave the house to exercise because I would crap myself. ‘B’ is what horrified me and ‘a’ is not significant enough to risk having to deal with bringing a change of clothes and investing in a seat guard for my office chair.

    I’m doing a better job on my own without farting out pizza oil (well, there goes dinner) or other, spontaneous anal eruptions.

  • You know what this pill reminds me of? Olestra.

  • [...] about the incredibly disgusting side effects (oh sorry, I meant “treatment effects”). This blog post, which quotes the actual drug website, made me laugh so hard I cried (warning to Jolly: you will [...]

  • DOSE_OF_REALITY

    THIS IS A BUNCH OF FCKING BULLSHT. ONLY THE DUMB SH1T FAT FUCK AMERICANS WHO STUFF HAMBURGERS AND FRIES IN THEIR SAGGING GULLETS HAVE THIS SIDE EFFECT!!!!!!! If you eat less than 15g of fat per meal you will **********NOT********** have this side effect. They only warn of it prominently to not get sued by all the mcdonalds huffing FAT COW b1tches out there who will shovel fat into their gaping craw and then pop the pill. NO KIDDING of course those idiots will sh1t themselves.

    but **NOT** if you eat well.

    And for all the loser 1diots who say if you diet you don’t need this you are retarded! If you want to loose a lot of weight you will combine every method, metabolic enhancers PLUS diet PLUS exercise, PLUS this pill or others like it!!

    all you immature twats are just pathetic.

    “poo! hehe snicker snicker” .. bunch of little KIDS

  • wow, the world sure does hate a fat person.

  • i agree with christa. only people who have never been obese or have no problem losing weight would think it’s inconceivable that anyone would try this drug. i’m not obese (but once was), i DO have trouble loosing weight (but won’t be trying this drug) so i get it.

    this post was still really funny :)

  • It is better to adopt natural process (like exercise etc.) rather than to go for any kind of medicine.

  • More thoughts on alli, specifically about how it really is very similar it Antabuse, only for food.

    It’s more behavior modification than pharmaceutical magic.

  • [...] company all but guarantees you will soil your pants while taking this medication!  Check out this great comentary on the product.  Thanks to PittGirl for the [...]

  • LOL!!! Who would use that, really? There’s got to be better ways for someone that wants to lose weight.

    Every time I see these commercials that praises the virtues of some new prescription drug, and then quickly says that it may cause undesired side effects such as bloody stool, headaches, nausea and death (just an undesired side effect, huh? Maybe there’s another drug that can clear that one right up?), I laugh my a** off. Unbelievable what gets approved as safe.

  • CHAD Thank you so much for talking about the orange oily discharge with stool. I experienced this when I started using this pill. I contacted the company and they told me that their pill does not cause this orange oily discharge. I was at a loss and thought I had cancer or some other serious illness. Afther two days of internet resrarch, I found you on this site and you have calmed my fears. I’m going to call the company and express what they have put me through by not being straight forward about this situation.

    Well wishes to you and yours CHAD!!!!!!

  • This reads a lot like a should-be McDonald’s advertisement, with all those side-effects….

  • [...] this morning I read this hilarious (but sadly, true) article about the new diet drug, alli. Then this afternoon I got a SparkPeople newsletter with a link to [...]

  • holy shit (literally), i was looking for a website on which to post my Alli experience when i came across this post.

    this morning, my shit looked like a bowl of chicken noodle soup, with a layer of orange grease beading at the top of the toilet water. this is after i literally shit oil down my legs. why this side effect? because i dared to eat a veggie burger last night, which apparently was too greasy.

    why am i trying alli? i am not as overweight as they recommend you be to take this drug, however, i am an amateur pharmacologist and am always open to pop a new pill.

  • [...] The new over-the-counter diet pill alli recently hit the shelves, and I’m sure we’ve all seen the colorful commercials and print ads. The pills don’t burn calories, they block fat from being absorbed into your body. So what happens to the fat that you’re intaking that your body isn’t absorbing? That’s one of the not so pleasant side effects. [...]

  • Hello there,

    I worked at a market research firm in high school. This was the late 80’s, and Proctor and Gamble was doing research on a similar product: a fat substitute that would slide right through the body’s system without sticking. During this particular testing period, 100 or so folks were paid 500 dollars a piece to eat french fries everyday for 10 days, some fried in the real fat, and some in the *Olestra*. I was on the french fry serving team, but there was another team at the facility…the underwear processing people. Everyday, the participants would bring their old, anal-leakaged undies in a baggie and get their new undies (no word on what they wore while actually eating the fries…) Gross, huh? but kind of similar to the results of alli.

  • [...] exciting was it? Let’s spruce up this blog post with some funny. First there’s this great post about a new diet drug (courtesy of Patrick), then this video of unicorns (courtesy of Big Zeez from way back). I was [...]

  • I like your blog. I my self write about very human common things, That give me a strange name.
    My name is Gosipp

    http://sofiawinterborn.wordpress.com/2007/05/25/sofiagossip-i-heard-a-terrible-conversation-yesterday/

  • Gossip is the right spelling sorry

  • [...] mention to Mr Angry, however who moved with a bullet from #76 to #28 – undoubtedly due to his post alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect which has received 376 comments to [...]

  • [...] Alli: Miracle Diet Pill With Teeny-tiny Side Effect [...]

  • [...] link to the story in question: alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year You see, there’s 1what the drug company markets it as, 2the medical description of what it does [...]

  • [...] side effects of fat burners such as jittery effects, sleeplessness or a racing heart. However, Alli does have one side effect that some will find [...]

  • SwedeInNewYork

    Smile and soil
    Ye pants with oil

  • [...] post: alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect is a very funny read and obviously struck a cord with many – 322 comments to [...]

  • [...] a lot here. Check this article out, it’s a no holds barred look at alli, with lots of swearing. Link __________________ June ‘07 – SW : 117.7kg – CW: 110.4kg – GW: [...]

  • [...] Mr. Angry hat diese Pille vor einigen Tagen gefunden und einmal die nette Formulierungen auf der Produktseite etwas übersetzt, von dem Englisch der Herstellerfirma in das Englisch, welches jeder versteh. [...]

  • [...] Zern is concerned about the lack of transparency in marketing – and references AngryAussie’s now famous post on marketing the “miracle” weightloss drug alli. [...]

  • That is the funniest shit story I ever heard. Now each time I look at a young sexy thin chick I will think she is full of shit! LOL

  • This is soo true (100%) you will always shit oil and have no control over your bowels. You must go on a diet that does not contain fat not oil or else suffer.

    I learned my lesson. I now have to steam clean my seats because my ass did leak.

  • sweet! now all of us have an excuse to wear adult diapers

  • Well, I am taking alli. I have lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. The way they get you to lose weight is to scare you to death. You eat healthy because after the first time you have the “treatment effects” you don’t want to have them again! It is working, however.

    I have to say that I didn’t like the language of the piece, but I almost never laugh at something I’m reading like I laughed out loud at this. Maybe it is from my first hand experiences over the last couple of weeks. Nicely done.

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • I normally shit my pants anyways, so taking this drug wouldn’t introduce anything new.

  • Absolutely superb!! i nearly shit myself with laughter. God knows what the neighbours are thinking.

  • hahahhahah this is hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs!!

  • How funny……I guess I will join the gym instead

  • hit the gym, not the drugstore

    Oh my Lord, I haven’t laughed that hard in years. You have a talent, sir — and your comments are the absolute truth. I know people (and people who know people) who have taken this pill and the side effects are horrible (and if the woman from Stacey’s office who is taking alli happens across this site, please do the whole world a favor and learn to flush your oily shit before returning to your desk).

    I will vouch for diet and exercise — I got rather large after quitting my fast-paced job to be a mom (yes, I was eating too much of the wrong foods) and when I asked my doctor what to do, God bless her, she didn’t offer me a pill. She told me to cut back on my portions and ramp up my exercise. Eight months later I am 74.2 pounds lighter. It CAN be done, people — and shitting yourself for the rest of your life is a LOT harder than dragging your big behind (in clean pants!) to a gym and eating more salad.

  • Talia Duermos

    Your suppose to eat right and excersize when taking Alli dumbasses it says it on the site! If you shit your pants its only because you were pushing LMFAO!

  • I was on a low fat diet with moderate exercise for 8 weeks losing a whopping 12 pounds. Continuing my same diet using alli, I was able to lose 20 more pounds in the same amount of time! You truly do lose more weight. I am 44 years old and the weight has never como off easily for me. This is a “help tool” to encourage me and keep me motivated to be in the best possible shape. I stick with a low fat diet and have had none of the treatment effects, in fact, i feel wonderful.

  • Didn’t Kevin Smith already do this exact same thing?

  • I have been on Alli for two weeks now. I have watched my fat intake and calorie counting also and have NOT lost one pound.
    I think it’s a scam myself. As for those horrible side effects I have had NONE. I have constipation problems and actually thought this drug may help that also but it did not. No side effects fron alli and………no weight loss not even a 1/2 pound.

  • thank you! that was the funniest thing i’ve read in awhile!

  • [...] line: Big Business wants you to buy more of its shit, including all those weight loss products and the drugs you’ll need to take to fight your obesity-related illnesses. It’s [...]

  • [...] effects.‘ I could go further but instead, I’ll point you to an excellent video from Angry 365 Days A Year which explains [...]

  • [...] you are familiar with the name ‘alli’ made infamous by a blog post on Angry 365 Days a Year, alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect. The comedic post on A365DAY mentions in plain terms the side effects of alli, that the [...]

  • Alli pimping – GSK’s new Ally

    Not content with shit shovelling us diarrhoea from GSK headquarters regarding the ’shit yourself thin pill’ Alli, Glaxo, it seems employed the services of Debbie Weil to pimp their product.

    Who is Debbie Weil?

    Well, she is the author of… wait for it…. The Corporate Blogging Book: Absolutely Everything You Need to Know to Get It Right

    You can purchase copies of her masterpiece on Amazon where she even offers the chance to win copies of her book by taking ‘a quick survey’.

    She adds:

    “Lots of smart folks are saying that 2007 will be the year of executing — as opposed to asking why or what — when it comes to business blogs. And I agree with them. But I want to know what *you* are thinking.”

    Well, Debbie, I’m thinking that by pimping GlaxoSmithKline’s Alli you have quite literally ’shat’ yourself in the foot.

    Now, if you want any advice on how to write a blog or indeed how to write a book about writing a blog then I suggest you skim through the archives of the angry aussie or why not visit mine, Seroxat Sufferers? (http://fiddaman.blogspot.com)

    Oh, and here’s another tip for you while I’m at it – Give the money you received from GSK (if they paid you that is?) to a bowel charity.

    I hereby award Debbie Weil with the Seroxat Sufferers prestigious Dumbass Award

    Fid

    Debbie Weil you are a dumbass!

  • I have only been taking the drug for a day. (so far no problems with the bathroom..but do to all the talk I am sure it is coming..(oh fucking joy)
    I did want to know is anyone else kinda feeling stoned. I am damn near falling asleep. I know this much I will not be driving a car till the feeling goes away.
    And we are to take this 3 times a day.
    Hell I am half temped to go back on the Special K diet (which does seem to “kind-a” work) and flush this shit down the shiter since it is going to end up there anyway!

  • [...] to laugh with glee. No, wait. That’s not right. I laughed, because I had had already seen this hilarious and horrifying post about the drug. You want to read this post. That is (and here’s where the lights should be flashing WARNING! [...]

  • I am crying from laughing so hard!!!!

  • It is sad but amazing that people would subject themselves to such torture. It is also a strong statement about what drug companies will put forth as a cure.

    What is most disappointing is that the amount of money spent developing this drug, marketing, and purchasing could be better spent elsewhere. Isn’t it sad that we have people starving in one part of the world, and we have people overeating and taking pills to push it through faster so that they lose weight in another.

  • HAHAHAHAHA Your article is great! Thank You!

  • Their marketing slogan should be “This too shall pass.”

  • Haha this post cracks me up everytime I read it.

  • I am so horrified by this story that I am going on a low fat diet just in case my insurance company forces me to take this pill.

  • [...] you’ll poo yourself in public while you’re on it, Drugs and Poisons blog and Angry 365 Days a Year have some information you won’t find on the Alli website. As one commenter posted, all this [...]

  • I was tormented by this most terrifying nightmare.
    As it were, the omen had become true that you realy “are” “What you eat” and that it all goes down the W.C when you´re finished!

  • oh jesus. i laughed my ass off several times while reading this, you’re brilliant.

    i’ve been taking alli for about three days.. four? yeah. and i haven’t had any of the side effects at all. maybe im just lucky..

  • that was the best thing i’ve read today! omg, i laughed through so much of that article. thanks for bringing this to light, though. i’m sure many people who think about taking this drug don’t know these things. funny and informative! you can’t beat that! thanks!

  • I am an alli user, which made this even funnier. I really am dieting and exercising, so I only had treatment effects once when I first started. I would’ve shit my pants, but I followed the directions and started on Friday evening so I was at home, near the toilet, as instructed. The alli website is hilarious. You can only view the forum postings if you have bought the product and enter the code inside the package. If people viewed the forum before purchasing they probably wouldn’t buy it. There is an awful lot of talk about shitting in pants on their website. Lots of talk about how to remove the oily stains from office chairs, car upholstery, etc. But as I said, I am not having problems with treatment effects and am losing weight pretty rapidly.

  • [...] instead it passes straight through you and exits through your anus. This might not be a bad thing, but the drug manufacturer’s website points out that you are unlikely to receive much warning a…, and accidents are [...]

  • alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect

    ‘There’s a “new” over-the-counter drug available in the US that’s apparently flying off the shelves. It’s called alli (note the way trendy lower case!) and I use the term “new” loosely because it’s apparently a lower strength vers…

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect &quot; Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • OMG, that is the fucking funniest thing I have read in a LONG time . . . almost shit my pants. Who needs alli when you have the angry Aussie?! Thank you so much Angry Aussie!!!!! I’m a newbie here, but will be back!

  • Doesn’t matter how many times I come back and read this, I end up laughing my ass off for hours.

  • Hysterical…

  • It’s a simple fact.

    If you want to lose weight, eat less and excersize more.

    Or you can stop eating all together. Just don’t take alli.

  • [...] a youtube video in a post that I decided to instead direct all of you to go check this post out: Alli: miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side affect and his other post which includes the youtube video: Laugh! I nearly shit my [...]

  • OMG LMFAO this is great, I laughed so hard. I was looking into trying alli and I was researching it when I came across your blog.

    You are so funny and a very good writer! Thanks for the laugh and insight to the pizza oil farts LOL.

  • I came across this blog by accident after going to the official ‘alli’ site. I quickly lost interest reading the propaganda. As a fellow Aussie, let me say, ‘Mate, you are a champion and deserve a literary prize for that one.’ I will send people for a great laugh.
    Keep up the good work.

  • Fart is an art. Fart is an English language vulgarism most commonly used in reference to flatulence. The word fart is sometimes used as a nonspecific derogatory epithet, often to refer to ‘an irritating or foolish person’, and potentially an elderly person, described as an ‘old fart’. Farts can be stinky, wet, loud, or silent but deadly. Farts that contain a large amount of methane & hydrogen can be flammable. You can test that with a match. QUOTE OF THE DAY: Confucius say, Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Get a Fart Button for your website. That’s right you can add a little bit of extra humor and excitement to your site by adding a Fart Button.

    The Art of the Fart

    Fart can be used as a noun or a verb. Come on admit it, your own farts smell alright to you, If you have your friends smell your farts, to everyone else they’re rotten and smell like you’ve been eating road kill. So you say “How can you make my fart not smell so bad”. Well, for starters, the gas that makes up a fart comes from two sources: more originates from the breakdown of food by the digestive system, and some is from swallowed air.

    Farts Parts

    Farts come in different shapes, sizes and stench. Farts, burps, poop, pee, boogers, scabs, warts, puss, snot and puke; these are just a few of the subjects that are being thoroughly investigated during an exhibit entitled “Grossology,” on display at the McWane Center in downtown Birmingham through Sept. Also I believe it was the subject of many conversations when I was in middle school.

    The Law of Farting

    Farting is best when it’s done on someone. At work, farting is permitted outside a Company building provided farts will not enter the building and it is not a thoroughfare for non-farters. Farting requires positioning that best maximizes the bodies ability to expel gas. Farting is unpleasant, and you should always hold it in until you can slip off to the hallway. Farting never gets old, not in the slightest, but I say farting makes me feel good, though it’s not nearly as good as that big ol’ dump in the morning. Farting is common among all humans. It keeps us humble. Farting is a privilege, not a right.

    Family of Farters

    I come from a family of open farters. Please note that I am referring to farts that make your family and friends yelp. For example, Blazing saddles will be on tonight at 9 on FOX Family. I’ll be right here at 9, if I can remember which channel FOX Family is. But first I have to clear my brain.

    The word “fart” has been incorporated into the colloquial and technical speech of a number of occupations, especially computing. Farting is always funny, and when they stink, it’s even funnier. Farts smell obnoxious because of the breakdown of compounds containing sulfur (think rotten eggs). Farting is a field ripe for exploration and indeed it’s over-ripe. Fart and the whole world farts with you.

  • Haha, wat an Miracle, I enjoy this.

  • LOL! We have been talking about that over here for a while…I love the way the site calls crapping your pants a “treatment affect”…hahahaha!

    There was a lady in front of me at the store buying alli and a frozen pot-pie.
    I happen to know from normal dieting (i.e. reduce calorie intake and exercise) – that those pot-pies are actually considered 2 servings and when you add everything up they contain almost 100% of the fat a person should eat in a whole day…I almost said something to her but I figured she’d get the picture in a couple days.

  • very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce

  • Well that is totally true that these miracle diet pills have Side effects. some of patients who have the bwel problem are victims of these diet pills.

    Actually everything in perfect is quantatitty is a medicine. if it is taken in quantatity then it is not les s than the poison.

  • Your no nonsense truth is absolutely correct. I have been on it for 3 days and you do not fart or shit without what I call the “painting-easter-eggs-like-floating-orange-oil-substance” dotting out of your ass. It sticks to your toilet and does not flush. After you use about a roll of toilet paper to wipe your ass clean, you now have to get cleaner and a scrub brush and clean the inside of your toilet. No lie, the “shit” does not flush! But, for those of us who are taking full advantage of the holidays, I’ll take it…

  • okay now i got to take a shit and i’m at work !

  • oh.. that was really funny,

  • I can’t believe how dumb everyone is! They take this disgusting poison instead of taking a little responsibility to avoid scarfing down junk all day and do a little exercise. They’d rather shit themselves uncontrollably, wear diapers, shit when they fart, and worry about leaving the house than to even give a second thought to eating a sensible diet!

  • Brilliant!

  • I just started taking alli – Im 5′ 11” and weigh 145 lbs. — im not a hamburger scarfing fatty but I thought I would try to lose some vanity weight. I have sharted myself only once and currently sitting on a wad of tissues in fear of a “treatment effect” at work. America Rules

  • Well, if I was the company that produces tampons… I would have a new market to target for my product sales!

    You heard it first here – Playtex ;)

    wallyo aka wall*e

  • [...] post: alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect is a very funny read and obviously struck a cord with many – 322 comments to [...]

  • [...] do you get bowel movement stains out – been using Alli, eh? I’m so sorry. Just don’t use the tumble drier or that will be polar bear blood on [...]

  • After reading this article,I want to go out to see the movie with my boy firend.
    Goodbye and Good Luck.

  • I’m a 23 year old female and just started taking this 3 days ago without hesitation. Like “skinni minny”, just want to lose some “vanity pounds.”

    2 hours ago, I just had to leave my corporate job early (was wearing beautiful gray slacks) because I went to the restroom to go pee, and found a HUGE oil stain on the ASS of my pants.

    While driving home, I was praying to the good Lord that no one noticed and thought my life was over.

    Luckily, this article didn’t make me feel so bad.

    Horrifying.
    Disgusting.
    Sticks to the toilet.
    Spreads all over.

    P.S. The oil stain does NOT come out of your clothes unless you use hard core “spray and wash”.

    Ready to buy a new wardrobe fit for a funeral? I am so disgusted that I took the rest of the day off.

    I’ll leave you with this…

    I called a friend of mine right now and told her my experience. She has been taking it, and has lost some weight. I told her what happened today and her reply was, “Yeah, I didn’t want to scare you… but my office chair is permanently stained.”

  • I’m a 23 year old female and just started taking this 3 days ago without hesitation. Like “skinni minny”, just want to lose some “vanity pounds.”

    2 hours ago, I just had to leave my corporate job early (was wearing beautiful gray slacks) because I went to the restroom to go pee, and found a HUGE oil stain on the ASS of my pants.

    While driving home, I was praying to the good Lord that no one noticed and thought my life was over.

    Luckily, this article didn’t make me feel so bad.

    Horrifying.
    Disgusting.
    Sticks to the toilet.
    Spreads all over.

    P.S. The oil stain does NOT come out of your clothes unless you use hard core “spray and wash”.

    Ready to buy a new wardrobe fit for a funeral? I am so disgusted that I took the rest of the day off.

    I’ll leave you with this…

    I called a friend of mine right now and told her my experience. She has been taking it, and has lost some weight. I told her what happened today and her reply was, “Yeah, I didn’t want to scare you… but my office chair is permanently stained.”
    ———————————————————
    Too Bad you loaf of shit

  • That was so funny! Thanks for making me laugh at myself. I actually tried alli after months of contemplating. I tossed it after getting bad, bad cramps. Now, I am looking around for people who have had complications and came across this-LMAO!!

  • Oh oh oh I cannot stop laughing! This is hilarious and I am so sorry to read comments from people actually dealing with it! Wow.
    And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat pizza again…

  • [...] pardon the language from the site of the following link but I figure I share it with you folks: alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect Angry 365 Days a Year it’s about a product called “alli” it’s FDA approved, but doesn’t mean much…read up…and search [...]

  • The pill basically gives you what people in the developing world try to avoid

  • Hilarious. I remember a David Letterman sketch that start “Lost weight without diet or exercise. That pretty much leaves disease.” So here’s a pill that gives you a disease. Great!

    [shameless_plug]
    BTW, if you don’t think you can lose weight by burning more calories than you eat (without pills), come join us at http://calorielookup.com for a week or two.
    [/shameless_plug]

    Cheers, Rick

  • I hope they never find a miracle weight loss cure. I am attracted to the cute chubby girls that you all despise and think would look better if they lost 50 pounds. If they disappear, I go celibate

  • Alli sounds like Mrs. Piggle Wiggle’s cure for fatness

  • [...] Angry 365 Days a Year (No Ratings Yet)  Loading … No Comments, Comment or Ping [...]

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • [...] A blogger on alli, the over-the-counter version of the fat-blocking, “diet” drug Xenical [...]

  • [...] alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect « Angry 365 Days a Year [...]

  • Oh man! I was actually eating pizza when I started reading this.

    You owe me 15 bucks!!

  • “Also, when you fart, it SOMETIMES has a discharge of oil. What I did, and it sounds gross, is take some toilet paper and wad it up and leave it “up in there” in case of a shart. One thing about this story is wrong, though. You WILL NOT shit yourself.”

    Now, if something other than air comes out when I break wind, I would say I was pooing my pants… it does SOUND better if you say ‘discharge’ I guess. But, it is what it is…

  • Only in the mighty USA :D the rest of the world googles the drugs first ;)

  • I bought Alli to try to get in bikini shape in two weeks. I weighed 130lb and wanted to lose 5-10lbs. The side effects of Alli definitely made me WANT to stay away from fatty foods which was my problem to begin with. So it definitely worked for me. It’s a great product if you look at it the right way!

  • that was hot what u wrote and it got me thinking about tight situations where people could get into when on this pills, women are usually more sensitive to public restroom so imagine if your girlfriend when to a funeral in her formal dress and the treatment effect turn her butt into a diarrhea cannon blasting out hot shit fillin’ her as the priest speak. yeahh, take alli and don’t regret it when you’re stuck in traffic with a lake of diarrhea soaking through your pant!!

  • I try alli last year, and I think it simular to a laxative, with laxatives if you’re not careful you could go in your pant too. except with laxative
    you could feel it coming. with alli treatment it happened so quick you wont feel the urge to poop but your tight jean is already ruin. It happen to me when I went car shopping at tarbox toyota, I had explosive diarrhea all in my pant it was so fast
    I was in hot pant “literally” I couldnot even believe it…..I’ll just stick with exercise daily

  • OMG – I laughed so hard I cried!!!

    Started taking it here in the states 2 weeks ago, was ok for the most part – took in WAY less fat that I was allowed (for fear I would shit my pants)
    and I have had such TERRIBLE gas that when I get out of my car and come back to it hours later, it still stinks! Think it is in the cushion!!

    The other day I was out with my Hubby and he took me to a jewelry store to pick out my mothers day gift..when all of sudden, I HAD to go. If I farted, it was coming out!!! Of course the fucking clerk would not let me use the bathroom (insurance reasons – cause everyone is sue happy here in the US and no one trusts ANYONE) so I rushed out of the store, I never picked out jewelry so fast in my life… go across the street to a strip mall and proceeded to ask every store person there if I could use their bathroom. They ALL said the same thing, INSURANCE!!! Finally a nail salon let me use theirs and by that time, I made a fudgie! Took me 20 minutes to clean up and had to throw out the undies… and of course TAN pants… thanks god for a long shirt!!

    So all in all yes, you could lose weight on alli, I must haave lost 4 pounds that day!!!

  • [...] The blog post in question:http://angryaussie.wordpres… [...]

  • Jack Sparrows

    There you get it, the solution to the world’s oil problems.

    alli..

    Now all we need is a way to store the oil u fart …

  • Jack,

    Presumabley with every packet of alli you’ll also be provided with a special ‘tube’ and a bottle designed to tuck into your sock?!

  • Thank you so much for posting this. This is absolutely hilarious. Spend months search google for the best new diet pills on the market, wish I had known about this.

  • “However, to suggest that the drug companies don’t want people to exercise and diet in conjunction with their medication is just plain wrong. They do. It is not just marketing b.s. Working out and eating less fatty foods makes their drug work better! Which translates to happy customers and good word of mouth.”

    Yes, but if you are going to exercise and eat right anyways, then why take this? I can exercise, eat right, and not shit oil in my pants. I think that I will take the option that lets me have control over my bowels, thank you!

  • Johannainexile

    It is like the creators of the “brown note” got together and decided to make a pill that was more effective and lasted longer and that you had to pay for! Brilliant!

  • [...] Dare I call this a pants-shittingly funny video? I guess I just did. This is the video version of the most popular post ever on my written blog: http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/2007…; [...]

  • [...] here and read this blog post about this new weight loss pill. I almost died laughing. Tagged as Alli, [...]

  • Actually this drug does absolutely nothing only the perscription form of this drum does that. This is to weak a version to do anything but rob you of your hard earned money.

  • But I will admit my friend and I were talking about the drug when it came out and I was telling her the side effects as reported and we said imagine if you were with a guy especially if it was the first time you were getting busy and BAM you shit yourself. Our thoughts were deal breaker@ We were laughing so hard we couldn’t stop and we were on are way into see a client try explaining that one when they ask what are you laughing at??????

  • To all of those that are saying that the world’s oil problems are fixed.

    Just try to imagine what the exhaust from this new “biofuel” is going to smell like.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_cXcXcK0ok&feature=related It has a small segment of Olestra which pretty much says what you have said about Alli at 2:56.

  • Some people may want to use alli in order to be afraid of the side effects and eat less as a result of the fear. If you don’t need the side effects to help you stick to your diet you can look for a product with no known negative side effects.

  • Diet pill industry has mushroomed in the last decade and so has the number of fake diet pills. Most of the diet pill review sites proclaim an unbiased analysis and review but in the end present their own favorite diet pills.

    TheDietinsider.com not only provides a combined verdict of experts and consumers but also advises the consumers of alternative ways of losing weight forever. Its goal is to educate the consumers about their natural well being as well as provide all the facts about a particular diet pill or weight loss supplement.

    This site is filled with scientific and natural care resources in the form of – Diet pill articles, Diet Pill supplement white papers, weight loss natural methods and articles, Diet and weight loss videos, Weight loss E-book, and consumer polls related to weight loss and diet supplements.

    It is our policy not to push the envelope for any one diet pill or supplement but to leave the best judgment to you. We try to clear the air about the most effective and healthy diet pills in the industry and the most natural weight loss methods and diet pill supplements. Our focus is your health and not any particular diet pill or weight loss supplement!

  • Another happy alli customer:

  • Hahaha thats crazy

  • > People who can eat healthier and
    > exercise more aren’t interested in this shit.

    Bullshit. To get on the prescription for the full drug you HAVE to be eating health and exercising. Alas the prescription does not last for ever.

    “You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.”

    So it says on the website just what will happen. In fairly plain terms. Yeah, they really be hiding that one.

  • Just had to comment, nearly pissed myself laughing reading your post! You certainly have a way with words, I will be reading more often.

    I’m with you on the whoel alli thing, no-one needs a diet pill, it is for lazy people that don’t want to eat healthy and exercise, you do that you don’t need a pill.

  • [...] is my third most popular post by the way.  My most popular post was about the diet pill “alli” that makes you shit oil uncontrollably.  I’m not sure if this is a step [...]

  • OMFGAWWWWWWWWD!!! when I first started reading this post I thought “oh crap, here’s another scammer selling a miracle diet pill”.. I’m really glad I kept reading because YOU ROCK!! You told it straight up, no BS and you even swore out loud a few times… I know you’re passionate about something when swearing occurs!! HAHA.
    thanks for this. I’m gonna send this to everyone I know who still thinks there’s a miracle out there waiting for them… yah, there is but its called DAMN HARD WORK AND PERSERVERANCE!!

    thanks again, this post rocks. sincerely.
    TAA

  • Ready for some more bad news about another untold side effect of alli? I just found this out today. Apparently it also causes liver damage.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8221313.stm

    Just thought I’d share this with you.

  • Well, there are many ways to lose weigh unfortunatelly many weight loss diets will make you lose weight as a muscle as opposed to fat. So what is important is to learn how to lose fat, preserve and build muscles — that is the only way you can shrink belly fat and stop yo-yo dieting…Just my 2 cents

  • this is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Seriously, you’re good man.

  • oh my God…I didn’t knew if to laugh or …wtf

  • Wow… that was a scream… but seriously, if you READ the info and follow the directions and diet suggestions… YOU WON’T HAVE THE “LIQUID EXPLOSIONS”……….LOLROFPUG


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