Comments on: Project Management on the Titanic

By: Scott Alan Miller

Scott Alan Miller — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:39:16 +0000

You might be interested in an article that I wrote about Project Management of the Titanic.

By: Shenpen

Shenpen — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:29:15 +0000

I think “That’s why we hired you, for your expertise.” is bullshit.” The (ERP) industry is expanding, experienced VPM’s are rarea and managing 10 projects at one time and in reality most VPMing is done by 29 years old programmers like me. Heck I did it at 24, right out of the college. Had to, the VPM didn’t know anything more than me.

Solution?

There is always an invisible, moral contract behind, which says:

“You can do whatever to me. You can put more work on my shoulders without moving the deadline, you can ask me to work on evenings and weekends, you can give me impossible and contradictory requirements.

There is one thing you cannot do: not pay me for my work. I can be your bitch, I can be your psychiatrist, I can be your firefighter, but I won’t be your slave.”

It’s a question of principles. Not even one hour can go unpaid because it creates a wrong precedent: it makes the customer think it’s not my time they are paying for.

Tell them to accept the cost.

By: trainmaster01

trainmaster01 — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 07:03:37 +0000

In project management terms, it’s more likely the actual building and operation of the Titanic would be a better analogy.

There’s the management thing:

Shipyard PM: Yeah, we knew all along this steel is crappy. But that’s what you spec’d and that’s all we can afford. Whad’ya want? Better steel? Or stay in budget and get’er done on time?

Design PM: Isn’t it a little late to want us to redesign the air-tight compartments with sealed lids. What makes you think water will ever flow from one to the next? This ship’ll be unsinkable.

Construction foreman: Look, I’ve got that slipway free this Friday. I know it’s the 13th but come on, we gotta lay the keel someday or we’ll never get’er done on time.

Launchmaster: Hell, everybody makes a mistake now and again. Hey, I’m sorry we rammed your boat when we launched the big T but we hadda get’er done on time. So sue me.

Then, of course, there’s the actual operation:

J. Bruce Ismay: It’s my daddy’s company (White Star) and I’ll run it my way. Now get back on the bridge and stop whining about a little cold water. This ship’s unsinkable.

Boatswain: Don’t waste my time whining about the lifeboats. They’ll launch just fine without doing drills. Besides, this ship’s unsinkable.

Masters and mates local shop steward: This whole wireless thing is ridiculous. Sure we can pull sounds out of the ether. But my guys need a full night’s sleep and I’m damned if you can force us to keep the radio room staffed all night.

The name implies it all – SDLC – life cycle – cycle – we never learn our lessons the first time out. We have to keep reinventing the wheel and never getting it right.

By: Mr Angry

Mr Angry — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 03:04:03 +0000

Shadow: I think I might be thanked for burying their bodies somewhere

E0157H7: Cool comic, thanks for the link

Massif: most of the problem stems from issue 1. I’m hoping we can work out a compromise because I hate fighting over every little thing

Counterfnord: I’ll look that one up!

CinnKitty: right now that sounds good – someone should make a movie like that

Neil: I agree with you in general. In my specific case it’s just an iceberg. We’re in the right ocean but we’re in danger of sinking.

By: Neil

Neil — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:18:05 +0000

I think having to navigate around an iceberg (or even a number of icebergs) while crossing an ocean does not adequately compare to the potential scope blowouts of software projects. More valid comparisons would be:
- discovering that there was a misunderstanding about the location of the destination and that you actually have to cross several oceans rather than one ocean to get there (and in addition the destination is 1000 km inland).
- discovering that the crew will refuse to work with you unless you steer the ship in exactly the same way that they always have (which involves using an elaborate system of ropes, pulleys, large rubber bands, and chants designed to invoke the assistance of obscure deities).
- discovering that the whole concept of “floating” does not work like everyone imagined before the start of the project.

By: CinnKitty

CinnKitty — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 23:48:28 +0000

No problem, Mr. Angry. Just give the BPM and the VPM the waterproof, airtight contract to float on and you can hang off the side and make them promise to “Never give up” and pretty soon, you’ll be a big, blue frozen block of Mr. Angry who’s ready to be pushed off the contract and sink to the bottom of the ocean while the BPM and VPM swim off and blow the whistle on you.

Hmmm….this sounds really familiar for some reason…

By: counterfnord

counterfnord — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 20:24:32 +0000

I feel your pain. But if you want to compare your predicament to naval history, take a look at the Vasa. This is more from the point of view of the vendor, but the story reads like the prototype for every single software development project I’ve seen in almost 15 years. That’s why I call whatever passes for testing “making the sailors run”.

By: Massif

Massif — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 08:10:24 +0000

Having been involved in that sort of debate from the contractor “hey, we didn’t sign on for this shit” side it’s a pain for everyone.

Essentially, when your contractors start arguing the little details one of three things is happening:
1 – They’ve almost run out of money, and this change is going to do serious damage to their profit margin.
2 – They’re practically running late as it is, and don’t want to admit it.
3 – They’re arseholes.

It’s just occurred to me that there’s also the chance that they’ve got a really fat contract coming up and they just want to ditch yours at the first possible moment.

Which gives you 2 understandable human reasons (no money, no time), and 2 arsehole-ish reasons. You decide which is most likely.

By: E0157H7

E0157H7 — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:50:55 +0000

Reminds me of this:
http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly021023.htm

By: shadowshian

shadowshian — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:11:07 +0000

i dont know, should i feel sorry for you or suggest killing business and vendor project managers and hope nobody notices anything after you are finished with the project.