Monthly Archives: September 2007

Mr Angry learns to manage his angry feelings

Have you ever been in a situation where someone drops “hints” about a problem they think you have?  They don’t come out and say anything to you but they might leave an article about Alcoholics Anonymous lying about or maybe a brochure titled “So You’re Having Erectile Dysfunction Problems?”  I don’t know why I went for those two.  Nobody’s ever left them lying around for me.  Honest.

The people who do this type of thing call themselves “helpful”.  I call them passive-aggressive jerks.  In this video, I discuss what I learned when someone left a booklet titled “Managing Angry Feelings” on my keyboard.

Remember: if you aren’t angry, you clearly aren’t paying enough attention to what’s going on. 

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I have angered God

God has spoken to me.  I used to think that people who claimed God spoke to them were crazy, or self-serving televangelists trying to swindle gullible people out of their money.  But now God has spoken to me so maybe those other people weren’t lying and/or deluded.

So what has God said to me?  A lot of things, but the divine communiques can be summarised as “You done fucked up son.  Now I’m going to fuck things up for you for a while.”  I wasn’t given a lot of specifics about how I’d fucked up, it was more a case of a cavalcade of punishments to make it clear I had displeased the creator.

Anyone who has been reading this blog will know about how I appear to have been blacklisted by Google.  I still don’t know what to do about that.  I haven’t been going on about it at length or doing particularly angry rants which may surprise some.  The reason for this is that it is rather important to me.  Most of my angry rants are actually about things I don’t care much about, done for comedic value.

This Google thing is quite disheartening.  A real kick in the balls actually.  The timing is appalling too because I was about to use the blog to publicise an upcoming event  but that’s impossible if I’m blacklisted.  Actually, I’ve done a little research that suggests I’m not technically blacklisted because my site shouldn’t show up at all if I was on a blacklist.  It’s just that for some reason I don’t show up anywhere on any of the search terms I used to be top for.  Whatever.  It’s still fucked.

Then I have a whole cavalcade of shit happening with my car that’s going to cost me about a thousand bucks to fix up.  I’ll spare you the details but let me say that I’m an innocent party in all of this.  If that old lady didn’t want to get hit she should have walked across the pedestrian crossing quicker.  I haven’t been helped by the fact that both her sons are cops.  Now I’m being persecuted.

I think it’s because I’m black*.

So why haven’t I lost my shit over this?  Well, to sound sappy for a minute, my partner and kids are a very big help in this area.  Without them I’d be in a far worse mood.  Second, there is some very exciting good stuff happening in my life at the moment too.  So good, it far outweighs the bad.  It’s still in the planning stages and I can’t say much more until some details are finalised.

Hopefully by mid-week the final arrangements will be confirmed and I can go public.  Here’s a hint in the meantime: there’s a reason I’ve been making videos promoting Melbourne lately.

Fo now, I’ll struggle manfully on.  I had been meaning to post more often for the last week but these various event had sucked the motivation out of me for a while.  Hopefully, this week I will be back to normal.

*NOTE: I’m not actually black.  But the various white supremacists and self-proclaimed nazis I have crossed paths with online have called me black, jewish, muslim, asian, lebanese and gay so I think that counts.  Plus I’ve been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto lately and the cops in that game persecute my character for being black.  And for all those car-jackings and drive-bys I do.

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Filed under General Angriness

Angry Comix #4 – Watching God, Inc

I’m rather easily led.  So many people have been telling me to do more of the comics that I decided to go ahead and do some more.  All I had to do is decide on the script.  Then I had a brainwave.

One of my most viewed ever videos on YouTube is also, bizarrely enough, one of my worst.  The jokes in it are pretty good but I made almost no effort when shooting it.  It has multiple characters but when I cut between them, they’re actually sitting in the same seat and facing in the same direction so it makes no sense visually.

The video was a response to a featured video called “God, Inc”.  It’s essentially a sitcom set in heaven but heaven is this really crappy office environment with all the bureaucracy and petty politics that happens in an office.  I thought it was really funny and perfectly suited for a response from my “demon” characters.  Basically, my idea was they see “God, Inc” as their competition.

I did the video a day before I went on my New Zealand holiday so I was thinking far more about my holiday than the video.  Then about two days later I checked my email at an internet cafe in New Zealand.  The inbox was full of comments from YouTube.  It turns out that God, Inc was quite popular and my video was the only response they approved at the time so I was getting thousands of views a day. 

And, surprise surprise, I was getting dozens of stupid comments a day.  Quite a few positive ones at well but the morons were making themselves well and truly known.  I had enormous amounts of fun ripping into the haters, most of them were stupid enough to leave themselves wide open.  But truth be told, I knew I’d made a pretty ordinary effort with the video.

For ages I’d been promising myself I’d redo the video properly but I’d never gotten around to it.  It can be a little difficult to shoot the pieces with more than one character but I realised this would be ideal for the comic medium.  It’s much easier to incorporate multiple characters when you’re only using still images.

So here it is, my God, Inc response done as a comic:

For completists, here is the original God, Inc video:

And here’s my original response video:

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Filed under Video Blogging

I think Google has blacklisted me

I noticed the weirdest thing today.  One of my regular YouTube viewers mentioned he couldn’t find my blog on Google.  When I check some of my old standby search terms (“Mr Angry”, “Angry Blog”, “foreskin blog”) I wasn’t showing up.  At first I thought they might have recalibrated their algorithm which resulted in me being moved further down the list.

Then I actually put in “angryaussie” and got back a whole bunch of stuff from YouTube and some other sites but nothing from my blog.  It’s always possible that this is not about me specifically – maybe they’ve just demoted hosted blogs generally.  But I have no idea how to find out what’s happening.

If anyone has any expertise in this area (that includes working out what the hell happened and what the hell I can do about it) I’d appreciate some advice.

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Filed under Blogging, Google

Why our next Prime Minister got drunk in a strip club

I was asked recently in a comment why I write about US politics and not Australian politics.  This is mainly because Australian politics is boring.  I’m not vain enough to think what happens on this remote island has much effect on the world stage.  Decisions and actions taken by the US administration, on the other hand, affect pretty much the whole world.

That said, I’ll tell you the most interesting things about Oz politics right now.  We’re having an election some time in the next six months (the Prime Minister gets to set the date within a certain range and he hasn’t set it yet.)  All the polls point to a fairly massive loss for the incumbent conservative government.  A few key points about how our political system differs from the US:

  • We have a Westminster-style parliament (like England)
  • We don’t have a president
  • If your party (or coalition) wins the most seats in the House of Representatives (analogous to the US Congress) you win the government.  The head of your party runs things and is known as the Prime Minister
  • All of the ministers in the Cabinet (analogous to US “Secretary of…” roles) are elected representative, NOT appointed as they are in the US
  • The conservatives in Australia (broadly analogous to US Republicans) are a coalition of the Liberal and National Parties.  The “Liberal” bit will be confusing to those used to US political terminology, I know
  • The other party (broadly analogous to Democrats) is known as the Labor party
  • There is actually a party called the Democrats.  They’re losers.  There’s only a few of them left and they’re facing extinction

The current government (Liberal/National coalition) have been in power with the same Prime Minister since 1996.  I am not a supporter of this regime.  I’m sure they’ll learn to live with that.  I’ll give PM John Howard credit for two things: first, he’s a survivor.  Members of his own party tried to screw him over for years.  Ultimately he won and they lost.  Second, for ten years he completely neutered pretty much all opposition.  The Labor party were his bitch for years.

That all changed when Labor got a new leader in the form of Kevin Rudd.  The guy is teflon.  No attack on him sticks.  And now the Liberals are staring down the barrel of a really humiliating defeat at the next election.  The title of this post refers to my favourite failed attempt to smear Rudd. 

The story broke recently that Rudd visited Scores “gentlemen’s club” in Manhattan in 2003 with fellow Labor MP Warren Snowdon and New York Post editor Col Allan during a taxpayer-funded trip when he was opposition foreign affairs spokesman.  Because Rudd is a Christian with a fairly clean image some may have thought this would hurt his reputation and his lead in the polls.  Not so.

I’ll be honest, it was Rudd’s goody-two-shoes Christianity that gave me doubts about him.  I’m uncomfortable with governments anywhere being run according to theology (any theology).  So I felt this actually humanised him a little.  Public reaction shows I’m not alone in thinking that.  He even has the greatest defence if someone tries to embarrass him with specifics (“Did you get a lapdance?” “Were the strippers hot?”  “Who was your favourite?”)

He was too drunk to remember anything!  Legend!  I actually suspect this story was leaked by his own side.  Obviously, it’s been known about for ages in political circles but it wasn’t given to the media or at least no media ran with it.  If you knew Australians you’d realise that thinking this would hurt his image is a stupid idea.  He’s much more of a bloke now.  And he’ll probably be Prime Minister soon.

So I mentioned the things I give current PM John Howard credit for, what don’t I like about him?  Simple – his politics.  He’s a very dry conservative economically and extremely conservative socially.  He’s overwhelmingly committed to ideology over pragmatism.  Most of the time this has served him well but it’s led to some spectacular blunders.

He’s staunchly anti-union and introduced laws that tilted workplace relations heavily in favour of employers over employees.  Unions had been dying a natural death – membership was steadily dwindling because people didn’t think they needed them.  Then Howard introduces a raft of draconian industrial laws that scare the crap out of people, making them run to unions.  The man who hates unions gave them their biggest membership boost in 20 years.

His other blunder (in my opinion) has been how he’s handled the Australian/US alliance.  This alliance is incredibly important to Australia but the alliance is about countries, not political parties.  Howard has tied himself intimately to President Bush and is without doubt Bush’s most loyal supporter in the world.  Seriously.  Bush treats Howard better than any other world leader when he visits because no other world leader supports Bush so strongly.

Howard has criticised opposition politicians who have criticised Bush’s policies saying they are hurting the alliance.  Yet Howard has had no hesitation in attacking Democrats who may well form the next US administration.  This sort of hypocrisy and political game playing really pisses me off.  In fact, I lost all respect for Howard when he repeated the appalling Republican talking points about a vote for the Democrats being a vote for terrorists, a subject I tackled in the following video for The Fizz Newzz:

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Filed under Politics, Video Blogging

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens nude photos and video – for real!

How stupid would you have to be to be working for Disney AND taking nude photos of yourself. It turns out the stories about the star of Disney’s Move High School Musical 2, Vanessa Hudgens, doing nude photos are true. She could win an Academy Award AND a Nobel Prize and she’d still be more famous for these nude photos.Mind you, if this ruins her career she could always have a second life as a soft core porn star. Some well placed Google Adsense ads and she could make a fortune talking about sex like Emmalina. Millions of horny males would flock to hear her talk about her lesbian sex experiences with co-stars, having to indulge in anal sex, oral sex and orgies on the Disney casting couch (come on – you know those Disney types are wild deviants and perverts when they get going). She’s 18 so it doesn’t count as child porn but those sick bastard pedophiles have an active imagination. OK, now I’ve made myself feel dirty.

I hate having to explain things like this to my kids. And huge billboards covered in strippers or ads for erectile dysfunction or penis enlargement. But this is the world we live in. How much of this stupid crap has to happen before people actually realise that this is a stupid way to behave? I’m hoping by the time my kids are teenagers these cautionary tales will have sunk in – there’s no such thing as “private” nude photos.

It was absurdly easy for me to find the photo online.  To get around potential censorship I have included the actual nude photo in this video where I discuss the issue:

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Crazy Windows Error Messages

Here’s the sort of thing I do when I’m bored.  I found a site that lets you generate authentic looking Windows error messages.  It’s good for a bit of aimless fun and I used it to put together the following comic:

Video version

Still version

page one

page 2

page 3
If you want to make your own error messages, go to the Atom Smasher website.

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What’s a Republican’s favourite sex fetish?

The cavalcade of embarrassing revelations about the secret lives of ultra-conservatives that seem
to come out every day have me wondering.  Is the easiest way to work out what a Republican’s fetish is to look at what he denounces?  Consider the evidence provided bu just a few recent examples:

  • Bob Allen (Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign) gets caught offering a dude money to suck his dick in a public toilet.  Turns out dude was an undercover cop.
  • Glen Murphy Jnr (National Chairman of the Young Republicans) is facing charges for sucking a sleeping dude’s dick.  Turns out sleeping dude wasn’t a willing participant
  • Senator Larry Craig is another closeted Republican with the poor judgement to proposition an undercover cop in a public toilet
  • Mark Foley, champion of all who oppose child predators online, spends his free time sending sexually explicit text messages to teenagers who work in his office
  • Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, gets busted for liaisons with a gay prostitute that involve plenty of butt sex and crack smoking.  This guy’s my personal favourite as despite railing against “immorality” generally and homosexuality specifically for years, he managed to (a) hook up with a prostitute (b) have plenty of gay sex and (c) do hard drugs.

I have nothing against rational adults engaging in consensual sex (gay, prostitute-assisted or otherwise) and even doing drugs.  It’s the hypocrisy I can’t stand.  And the REAL conservatives, the REAL Republicans, the REAL christians must be having a far worse time than me trying to deal with these hypocritical scumbags.  I never liked them, but when they’re the champions of your cause, it’s gotta hurt.

I’m serious about Rick Santorum by the way.  I have no doubt he will eventually be revealed to be into some REALLY sick stuff.  When an evangelical minister does crack with a gay escort, nothing is impossible.

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Filed under Politics, Video Blogging

Melbourne by night

I’m in the middle of taking a week off work right now.  My relaxation mode has spilled over into my blogging.  You may have noticed.  I’m not dead- simply resting.

I will still be posting.  Like right now.  Just maybe not with the regularity and depth/length that I usually do.  I’ve also been making less angry videos – it’s amazing how much screaming at a camera interferes with relaxing.

I’ve been shooting some scenic videos around Melbourne actually.  As the weather gets better you’ll be seeing more of this fair city.  Here a video I shot in the city centre the other night.

I’m thinking of doing some more with that ferris wheel – it’s really trippy.  Maybe I’ll do some to camera stuff with the shirting lights behind my head like some sort of acid trip halo.  Yeah, that oughta get me arrested.

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A Cry For Help

Sometimes when I’m jumping randomly through videos on YouTube, I like to play a game I call “Committed to character or a cry for help?”  It’s a game the whole family can play.  The rules are simple.  You find a video where the person in it seems a bit “out there”.  Then you try to guess whether the person is really committed to a character they’re playing or if you’re witnessing a desperate cry for help.

It may not surprise you to learn that this game is born out of reactions I often get to my videos.  It never ceases to amaze me how many people there are out there who have concept of what a character is.  They see me say certain things in a video and believe what they have seen is literally me.  Despite obvious pointers that this is not actually “me” (like I’m wearing a weird fucking mask) these mental midgets pass sweeping judgements on who I am.

By the way, I’m not talking about judgements like “this is a person who likes performing”… “this is a person who likes creating characters”… “this is a person who like using comedic exaggerations to make points.”  That would actually qualify as insight.

I’m far from the only one subjected to this sort of stupidity.  One individual who springs immediately to mind uses the name “Daxflame” on YouTube.  This is a truly bizarre character but I find myself admiring the guy’s dedication to his trade.  Check his YouTube channel if you want to see some weird, almost inexplicable, shit.  The guy is obviously playing a character (although hell if I know what he intends to do with the character) but he continually gets comments from people who clearly believe they are seeing a real person rather than a character.

The video performances that I find funny are the ones where the person is giving away far more than they realise.  They aren’t playing a character as such but they are telling you a lot more than their words alone say.  These are people who strike me as distinctly lacking in self-awareness, I doubt they understand how clearly they are broadcasting their true motivations and indeed, their true selves.

One who got me thinking about this was a guy who’d had a video taken down for being “offensive”.  It finished with a shot of the Koran in a toilet bowl covered by a huge shit.  Seriously.  It wasn’t a special effect.  This guy eats his fibre.  He made a video protesting the takedown where he literally could not finish a coherent thought.  I’m sure he’d say it was because he was so angry at what he saw as injustice.  Me, I think he’s the type who has trouble forming a coherent thought on a good day.

So join the craze that’s sweeping the nation!  Get on over to YouTube and play “Committed to character or a cry for help?”

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Filed under Video Blogging, YouTube