Monthly Archives: February 2008
One of the great things about working in the CBD of Melbourne is the diversity. Lots of great place to eat, great places to shop, an interesting array of people. And some of the best street art you’ll find anywhere in the world. Here’s some examples that I shot on a recent lunch hour. Everything you see in these videos was in just two alleys, about a two minute walk away from each other.
Music in both videos is from NSG’s debut album, “Working Class Superstar”.
I frequently get asked if I have any good bloopers. People assume with the volume of videos I make, I must fuck up a fair bit. They’re right. People also tell me they think it would be funny to see me get angry when I screw up. Funny is a personal judgement but I think the answer to that one is also yes.
Take for example the video I recently posted of kangaroos on a golf course. I opened that video with a pretty cheesy slapstick comedy joke revolving around a sign for a scenic lookout. Gimme a break – I saw a sign that said “lookout” and I couldn’t resist. It reminded me of an old Far Side comic.
The thing is, it was a fairly obvious and simple setup but I had a bastard of a time gettign it right. See for yourself:
Many thanks to my long-suffering girlfriend who was my camera operator on the day. Her sanity saved me when I was really losing it by reassuring me we could come back the next day. How did I respond to her calming influence? By saying:
Yeah, let’s get the fuck out of here… FUCK THIS SHIT!”
- I know nobody at Toshiba said “please place an ad for our product next to an article saying our product is dead”
- I know nobody at The Age said “Let’s put an ad for HD-DVD next to an article saying it’s dead” – Toshiba simply bought an set amount of advertising and the ad was placed an arbitrary number of times in a particular section of the website
- Get a fucking sense of humour
- No, your sense of humour isn’t fine, if you can’t just appreciate a simple joke without deconstructing it and finding fault you are fucked up!
- If you’re the sort of obsessive dweeb who behaves this way, here a few more to set you off:
- Ron Paul is a gay nazi paedophile drug-smuggling terrorist
- Open source software is a communist plot designed to destroy our way of life and murder kittens
- Your mother fucks truck drivers for 50c a throw and most of the time they ask for their money back
Can anyone tell I’ve had to deal with some really stupid obsessive-compulsive pedants recently?
This behaviour is far too widespread to be limited to the people who are statistically likely to have Anti-Social Personality Disorder. This is where my theory on the preponderance of jerks comes from. I think being a jerk is pretty much learned behaviour – they see that when they’re a colossal jerk, people often let them get their own way just to shut them up.
But you know what? Jerks really hate it when you call them out for being jerks. It’s actually fun to watch them squirm but they’ll rarely admit they were at fault. Just today I was on a really crowded tram. So crowded in fact that when I got on I basically couldn’t move far past the doorway. That didn’t bother me too much because I wasn’t staying on for very long.
Each stop at least one person would get on and/or off which involved some creative squirming away for me and a few other to accommodate the people who were entering/leaving. Finally, we approached my stop and I stood by the door waiting for the tram to stop. A woman who wanted to get off as well evidently decided she didn’t want to wait for the door to open and shoved past me while the tram was still moving. She actually elbowed me in the stomach!
As I got off the tram behind her I decided to communite my displeasure and the following exchange took place:
ME: Yeah, thanks for that.
SHE: I needed to get off.
ME: So did I, why the hell did you elbow me in the stomach deliberately?
SHE: You wouldn’t get out of the way.
ME: The tram hadn’t stopped, I couldn’t get out of the way.
SHE: You shouldn’t have been in the way.
ME: There was nowhere else to stand. Besides, like I said, I was waiting to get off too.
SHE: I didn’t know that, you were just in the way.
ME: Well, here’s a novel idea – try saying “Excuse me” before elbowing me in the stomach!
SHE: And I suppose you would have moved if I’d said that.
ME: No, I would have told you I was getting off at this stop.
SHE: So, I was meant to just wait behind you?
ME: YES, YOU BEHIND ME IN THE FUCKING TRAM OF COURSE YOU WERE MEANT TO LET ME GET OFF FIRST! WHY THEY FUCK IS THAT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?
Actually, I may have said “fuck” more times than that. For some reason, the conversation ended awkwardly at that point.
Sometimes really strange ideas come into my head. I’ve read so many stories about how the US electoral system has very little to do with actual democracy that it’s getting scary. The system of delegates and the electoral college creates a situation where you can be forgiven for thinking that the way individual citizens vote is all but meaningless.
I’m not a fan of conspiracy theories but when a system is so deeply flawed it gets easier to believe some of the more outlandish claims that float around. Which may be where the idea for this video originated.
I was planning to do something completely different but this idea got into my head and wouldn’t go away. So, as I usually do when I get weird voices in my head, I let them out and this video was the result:
The biggest trouble I had with this video was my hair. I wanted to have a “slick” look so I put about a bucket of “product” into my hair. And my damn hair still wouldn’t stay flat! The only real result of the mountain of crap I used was my hair feeling like crap until I washed it a few times.