Few things piss me off as much as censorship that treats adults as if they aren’t grown up enough to make their own decisions. I actually agree with limiting what kids see, there are all sorts of things that are appropriate for adults that aren’t for kids. Not everyone matures at the same rate but given the lack of any objective measurement of maturity, age will do.
Stopping kids from seeing things that aren’t suitable is fine. Stopping adults from accessing thing because they aren’t suitable for kids is totally fucked up! I bring this up because Australia doesn’t have an 18+ rating for video games. The highest rating we have is 15+. That means that if the government censors think a game isn’t suitable for someone under 15 then it gets banned from sale. That’s right, the government sees nothing wrong with saying that if a game’s too violent, gruesome or maybe sexual for a 15 year old then adults aren’t allowed to have it.
The latest victim of this totally fucked up regime is Left 4 dead 2 which has been refused classification in Australia. This means it will be illegal to sell the game here. I am well pissed off about this Because Left 4 Dead was pretty much the coolest fucking game ever. Hell yes it was violent. Hell yes it was bloodthirsty, gruesome gratuitous and scary as fuck to play at 4am.
I would not for a second let my kids play it because it very nearly gave me nightmares. This was possibly made worse by playing 6 hour sessions at night fuelled by toxic doses of energy drinks. But I digress. I’m a fucking grown-up – I should be able to make the decision to do that to myself if I want to.
And if you’re one of those fuckwits who say video games are different to movies because they’re more immersive and interactive just shut the fuck up. If someone can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality, how the fuck is that my problem? Saying I can’t play a video game because someone with a mental illness might not be able to handle it is just as fucked up as saying I can’t play it because a kid couldn’t handle it. You’re worried that some unbalanced individual will think the game is real and start killing their zombie neighbours? Some people think their fucking cat talks to them! Are you going to drown all the cats as well in case they cause a killing spree?
When most gamers are in their 20s or 30s it’s unforgivable to not have an adult rating for games. The government needs to wake the fuck up and put video games on the same footing as movies. Until they drag themselves into the 21st century and recognise the validity of video games they don’t deserve to be taken seriously. Arguing that to protect children you have to take away my rights as an adult is totally fucked up!
I also did a video version of this – a collaboration with Shaun AKA Blordough who did my heavy metal theme. I did it as a comic because lip synching would have driven me crazy. Even so, that one video lip synch gave me about an hour of pain.