Category Archives: Hippies

Cannabis Cures Cancer? Stop being so stupid!

 

There’s an increasing number of people online pushing the idea that cannabis cures cancer. There isn’t one type of person who promotes the positive aspects of cannabis, they range from people who say smoking or ingesting cannabis helps offset the nausea caused by chemo, that it helps boost appetite in chemo patients, that it boosts the effectiveness of medical treatments, through to people who say cannabis alone is a complete cancer treatment on its own and extreme cases who say medical authorities know cannabis is a cure but there is a conspiracy to suppress “the truth”.

 

To address people who are on that extreme end of the spectrum: stop being so stupid! Conspiracy theories generally are stupid but this one includes a huge amount of offensiveness as well. It’s all well and good to point out “big pharma” is focused on profits but to suggest the millions of researchers around the world would deliberately suppress something that would cure cancer is simply disgusting. Only the worst, most self-indulgent and self-obsessed  sort of vermin would say this. To these people I’d go further than saying stop being so stupid – stop hiding behind your narcissism and paranoia while you attack people who are actually dedicating their lives to helping others. Better still, stop breathing. You’re a waste of nutrients.

 

A few key facts worth bearing in mind when discussing this: First there is no one thing that is “cancer”. When we talk about people having cancer and potential treatments and cures, we’re talking about a huge range of diseases that manifest in very different ways. There will never be a single cure for all cancers but hopefully we’ll continue to develop better treatments and even cures for particular types of cancer. Second, what research has actually shown is that cannabis and synthetic cannbinoids have the potential to help with cancer. This may ultimately come to nothing, they may form part of improved treatment or we may end up finding ways to successfully treat some cancers with cannabinoids alone.

 

But the reason cannabis is not being used to treat cancer now is there is no conclusive (or even reasonable) evidence it works. Research is ongoing because researchers have discovered many interesting properties of cannabinoids over the decades but we haven’t seen anywhere near enough clinical trials to draw any meaningful conclusions. Personally, I think large scale clinical trial of cannabinoids being conducted sooner rather than later is a good idea. The trouble is, politics come into it very quickly (drugs are bad, mkay?). I think that’s phenomenally stupid but it is reality. This politics affects far more than medicinal cannabis, there’s also a promising body of evidence that hallucinogens could be very useful in treating a range of mental illnesses but it’s very difficult to do clinical trials legally.

 

And I’d just like to deflate the ridiculous “Big Pharma” conspiracy. If you’re one of the people pushing this as the reason cannabis isn’t being recognised as a cure for cancer (“it’s natural and they can’t patent it so they suppress the truth”) stop being so stupid. If we ever have enough evidence to use cannabis as a cure for cancer you won’t be smoking or ingesting it – not in the form you do now. That’s an unreliable dosage system and it has all the “against the law” baggage. Big Pharma is spending a fortune on research in this area because any effective treatment  that gets endorsed by government will be a synthetic cannabinoid which can be patented and/or controlled by big companies because they’ll do some tweak to the chemical makeup of the cannabinoid in a lab and say it’s unique. 

 

Big Pharma isn’t trying to suppress any discovery of the effectiveness of cannabis as a cancer treatment – they want to exploit it. Saying they’re concealing “the truth” makes you look like a paranoid idiot. I wonder what causes that paranoia? And using the inane argument “natural is better” makes no sense. Stop being so stupid. Cowpats are natural. I’d like to force feed you a few of them and see if you continued to argue that everything natural was good.

 

So in short, cannabis helps some people with some of the symptoms of cancer and chemo treatments. For other people it has no effect and for some it has a negative effect. People are different and the same substance can affect them differently. Advanced research has shown cannabinoids having some interesting effects on cancer cells and they may be the source of good news in the future. But there’s no solid evidence yet that cannabis cures cancer. There’s no conspiracy to suppress the truth about this. Anecdotes from charlatans selling snake oil (or hemp oil in this case) are not evidence in any meaningful sense of the world. Everyone would like for there to be a cure for cancer but spreading this unmitigated bull just makes you look stupid.
 
For a very thorough overview of the evidence so far follow this link.

 

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Filed under General Angriness, Hippies

How to tell someone you don’t give a fuck

It seems I have to spend an inordinate amount of time telling people online that I don’t give a fuck about their worthless dribbling. So I’m trying to come up with creative ways to tell them. Sure, I love the simplicity of “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” but I also like variety.

So far I’ve come up with:

  • I’ve checked my “things to do” list. Your mum is right at the top but giving a fuck about you just isn’t there
  • NASA sent a deep space probe to the planet Giveafuckaboutyou and confirmed that I wasn’t there
  • Your web search “times I give a fuck about you” returned no results. Did you mean “times I don’t give a fuck about you?”
  • 404 File not found. You apparently thought you’d find me giving a fuck about you. You were wrong. You could try the following – Find someone else who gives a fuck about you; grow the fuck up; just fuck off
  • Today’s lesson is titled “I don’t give a fuck about you”. Tomorrow’s lesson is the same as today’s
  • Wanting you to fuck off and giving a fuck about you are not the same thing. So fuck off

And for those who like visual aids, I produced this Venn diagram on GraphJam:

Venn Diagram

Venn Diagram

 

Feel free to make your own contributions :)

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Filed under Charts & Graphs, General Angriness

Should your website have a flash intro?

When Flash first landed on the World Wide Web (we still called it that back in those days) it was very popular and it became common for websites that wanted to look “cool” to load a Flash animation when a visitor arrived at the site. The standard method was to force the user to sit through this animation to convince them of how cool you were.

As time passed it became widely accepted that this practice was, to use the technical term, totally fucked. Despite years of frustrated users screaming at the websites to get that stupid fucking intro out of their way and let them use the site, some sites argue that there are certain cases where a Flash into is still a good idea.

Maybe so. I’m a helpful guy. Really. So I’ve provided this handy flow chart for all web designers and marketing people to consult before they put a Flash intro in place. Use this and no matter what your product, no matter who your target audience, you will always reach the right decision:

Flash flowchart

Thanks to everyone for the overwhelmingly positive response to this post. I fixed the appalling typos that were in the first paragraph after they were pointed out to me.  Interestingly (to me at least) this post has also been translated into Italian: http://www.wafer.it/main/index.php?id_pag=52&id_blog_post=48

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Filed under Charts & Graphs, Internet

God’s to-do list

Found stuck to a very large fridge somehwre in the cosmos:

God's to-do list

For those who can’t tell, I spent a lot of time in Catholic school.

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Filed under Charts & Graphs

Reasons I rip on haters

People often ask me, if I think haters are such a waste of space, why do I take the time to rip on them?  I punch those people in the face.  I have a range of reasons for ripping on haters and they are neatly explained in this graph:

haters chart

haters chart

Colourful AND informative!

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Filed under Charts & Graphs

I’m Still Angry at Hippies

Q1: What's worse that hippies prattling on about "spiritual healing"?

A1: People who form cults built around hippie spiritual healing concepts.

Q2: What's worse than silly new age cults?

A2: Silly new age cults that charge money for "energy conversion sessions"

Q3: What's worse than religious/hippie cults ripping people off via bogus new age crap?

A3: Cult leaders who sexually assault little girls.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/girls-molested-during-sessions/2006/05/25/1148524807764.html

Guess what happens to child molesters in jail dickhead? Get ready for some "enlightenment" you really aren't going to like.

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Smack the qi Right Outta These Hippies

The mob has spoken – it's fun to rip on hippies! Today we will examine how a hippie is capable of stringing together a bunch of perfectly good english words while still making no fucking sense whatsoever!

The following all comes under the heading "Tips to nurture your qi while working in the modern world." Oh yeah, qi is apparently life energy. I think some people spell it chi. So the hippies are appropriating chinese medicine here. I would like to say here that I'm not going to attempt to refute chinese medicine/herbalism/acupuncture. I just can't stand the appropriation of other cultures – especially when it seems the sole reason for doing so is so some pathetic whitey can seem deep and mystical to other dumb whiteys.

Qi is apparently at the source of chronic fatigue syndrome. Sounds terrible, but the hippies are here to help us. Step one is… wash your hands! That's right, get your qi all shipshape and bristol fashion by washing your hands. Hear that all you malingering chronic fatigue syndrome sufferers who feel like you can't even get out of bed some days.? It'll all come good if you wash your hands! Oh yeah, you have to have an "awareness on the level of qi" – makes all the difference.

Steps two on the road to hippie healing is… have a bath! But once more, with awareness of the level of qi. Without that, all you're doing is washing crap off your body. Oh, and on a really gross note, this hippie points out that they do "more than a simple excretion of toxic energies" in the bath. I am so not sharing bathwater with this person. And you thought you could relax in a bath without any hippie "wisdom"? Let me tell you, you aint thinkin' on the qi then you aint doin' shit.

And to really help us out, the hippie closes with "the most successful technique to combat the drain of mental and emotional stimulation" (okay, now I know what this hippie is doing in the bath). This technique involves "developing the centres of energy above the head". What, like in fucking helicopters? I really get angry with this tendency to spout meaningless drivel and cloak it in an air of "mystic knowledge". And don't ride on the coat-tails of other cultures, you're no different to the fucking conquistadors stealing gold when you try to steal someone else's spiritual beliefs.

On the plus side, I have discovered this magazine includes free passes to the hippies' Bullshitapalooza expo. I wasn't going to waste my money going, no matter how much fun it would be to rip on the hippies in person. Now I can get in free! Looks like Saturday April 29th is hippie head-kicking day.

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Filed under Hippies