Tag Archives: future

The Blogging Bot from the Future

An old favourite returns to YouTube:

Yes, that’s how the future really looks. And sounds.

And because I care about my viewers/readers, in case you found it hard to understand what the Blogging Bot was saying, here’s a transcript:

Greetings from the future.

From my vantage point in the future, I know the answer to many things that are regarded as mysteries in your time. For instance, some in your time suggest time travel must never be achieved because if it had been, time travellers would have come back to visit you. This might make sense apart from one thing you’re all such a bunch of dicks what time traveller would waste time coming back to see you?

You people are coming towards the end of what is known in my time as The Stupid Ages an age of ignorance, narcissism and self-obsession that is laughable in my enlightened future. Which I guess is my enlightened present. Your future. You get what I mean. Unless you’re one of the really stupid ones.

For instance: Fox News. What the hell is that about? The sort of rubbish spewed out on that supposed news network is so insanely mind-numbingly stupid if someone said something 1/1000th as stupid in my era, they would be put down as a mercy killing. Not a mercy for them they probably wouldn’t like it. A mercy for the rest of us. Because we don’t want to put up with crap like that.

I mean, seriously. In my age even children ponder great metaphysical questions. Do you know what the single most commonly asked question in your era is? When will I be famous? Not When will I be recognised for my achievements but When will I be famous? What the hell is wrong with you people? Why not get off your at reality-TV watching arses and do something worthwhile? Get good at something and wait for people to notice that. Don’t sit there staring into your mirror asking When will I be famous?

YOU MAKE ME SICK!

I’m sorry, I recently had my personality subroutine augmented and I haven’t quite got the hang of controlling the contempt I feel for the Stupid Ages yet.

I implore you, do your part to end the Stupid Ages. Stop obsessing about yourself and day-to-day trivia and get out and change something in the world for the better. Or not. Like I give a crap. You’re all dead to me anyway.

End transmission

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Did you miss me?

I feel almost embarrassed at how much I’ve neglected this blog over the last couple of months.  I haven’t felt like I’ve had the right mindset for writing longer pieces and I have this weird thing where I feel that writing shorter pieces is kind of cheating.  Which is stupid.  I get like that. 

Given that I’ve been posting videos to YouTube almost every day I could simply have posted those here with a bit of commentary.  Which I might start doing.  Again.  But I’m also making plans for a possible career change and writing more would help me develop that.  So, in short, there is likely to be much more activity here.

Plus, I’m back from my brief visit to the USA and I didn’t get arrested or killed.  I have to admit, my paranoia did not subside until I was safely home.  At the start of the trip I was simply worried I’d have some nasty run-in with homeland “security” and end up getting kicked out.  From then on I was paranoid that I’d lose my gear or myself. 

All in all in was a fantastic trip but all too short (3 days in San Francisco and 3 days in Los Angeles).  It did fill me with new positivity about YouTube and the people involved.  The central part of the trip was going to see “YouTube Live” in San Francisco.  The show was actually much better than I expected and everyone I met was really nice – including the people I don’t like on YouTube.

I’m not sure if I was star struck or if it was simply sensory overload but being surrounded by a dozen people who each have hundreds of thousands of subscribers on YouTube was a surreal experience.  Especially when one of them (Michael Buckley) said he was star struck meeting me. 

So I’m going forward with a renewed faith in online “community”, feeling creatively charged up and looking for some challenges and new horizons.  Watch out, anything could happen.

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The Wisdom of the Blogging Bot From The Future

The Blogging Bot From The Future knows everything that will ever happen to you. Because he’s from the future. But he won’t tell you what happens because that’s against the rules.

And everyone looks like this in the future. Don’t ask. And everyone talks really fast too. Because it’s the future. If you’ can’t understand him, that’s because you’re not from the future. Deal.

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May you live in interesting times

There is a proverb that goes “May you live in interesting times”.  Many people say this is actually more of a curse than a proverb.  The idea is that “interesting” means trouble.  Well, the blogging bot from the future has an opinion on that.

So these interesting times will definitely be challenging.  But I side with the blogging bot from the future.  This is an adventure.  Maybe even a revolution.  And I’m all for creating the future – right here, right now.

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