“I Hear the Voices…”

So here goes, plunging back into politics. Let me start by saying this: there are plenty of things in politics that make me damn angry but I haven't been all politics all of the time for a few reasons. First, I'm trying to have fun and focusing solely on politics might get to be heavy going after a while. Second, there are other people who do it way better than I can, I've linked to some of them before and I will do so again in the future. Third, in my quest to have fun, I don't want to belittle things that are actually important so I've been a little hesitant to focus too squarely on some touchy issues.

That said, some of the stupidity going on is so absurd I can't help but dive in with an angry tirade. For those who haven't been following the musings of the leader of the free world, the title of this post is a direct quote from the man himself, G W Bush. It's part of what he said when being asked if he considered sacking Donald Rumsfeld after some retired generals (people who might actually know something about command competence) said Rummy was a useless pigfucker who should be taken out and shot. Geedubya said that despite hearing the media and the voices he was "the decider" (which sounds like an excellent name for an underwear pervert). What stuck with me was his reference to hearing voices. It explains everything.

He's completely fucking insane.

Georgie boy has gone all 6th Sense on us and he's hearing voices. I imagine this will be his defense in later life: "the voices told me to do it." Yes, the voices told him to invade Iraq even though the people who actually had a clue what they were talking about warned him what a stupid idea it was. The voices tell him life is better in Iraq now despite the deaths of tens of thousands and the ongoing horror of daily life there. The voices told him to award award no-bid multi-billion dollar contracts in Iraq to Halliburton who then sent soldier out without adequate armour or resources (although that was pretty obviously Cheney's voice).

And now it seems the voices are telling him that military action, up to and including nukes, against Iran is a good idea. This is despite the fact that it's morally reprehensible, strategically suicidal and straight-up insane. Some explanation:

Morally reprehensible: This requires no explanation. If you think the act of nuking Iran is not morally reprehensible, well, to borrow a phrase I read recently on another blog: fuck you in the neck with a butter knife.

Strategically suicidal: The leader of Iran, President Ahmadinejad, is not Saddam. He may not be the greatest guy in the world, but within Iran he's fairly popular and kinda-sorta democratically elected. So you can't fool anyone into thinking you will be popularly welcomed if you "topple" him. Also, Iran has A BIG FUCKING ARMY! The US and allies are already overstretched. It simply isn't feasible to open up war on another front. And nobody in Iran is going to sit quietly if you start bombing them. Step 1 would be a real bloodbath in Iraq as the Iranian army sweeps in. Step 2 would be "goodbye Israel" – as in, no longer existing on the map.

Insane: You would get zero international support for this. Okay, maybe the world's most pathetic lapdog, John Winston Howard, would sign on but I can't imagine Blair getting involved. From erstwhile allies you would get overwhelming condemnation, I would expect protests/rallies/riots all across Europe. And the wave of violence that would be unleashed across the middle east is too horrible to contemplate. And I'm more than a touch worried how Australia's neighbours to the north would react as well. An inevitable corollary effect would be the complete collapse of the US and probably the world economy.

So, politically, why would he say these things? Possibility one: it's a bluff. Caint afford to look weak tuh those mooozleeems. Guess what shit-for-brains? Anyone sensible thinks it's a bluff. Bluffs don't work if everyone knows it's a bluff. Dubya must be a shit poker player. Possibility two: he's completely fucking insane and he really means it. In which case…

Would some intern please give him a blowjob so he can be impeached?



Filed under Politics

6 responses to ““I Hear the Voices…”

  1. “Would some intern please give him a blowjob so he can be impeached?”

    hahahhahahaha!!! OMG! that had me on the floor! okay, i need to stop saying that to every post on your blog. But you have such a witty, amazing sorta humor that is much much needed in this world:)

    *going off to apply for an intern position…then commit suicide after “job” is done*

  2. Glad as always to hear from you Maliha. In this case I need to 'fess up – that isn't an original line. I saw it in a photo of a placard held up at a protest, I have no idea who first came up with it. I'm sure the author wouldn't mind its reproduction – all in a good cause.

  3. Whoever came out with it is a genius..and on second thoughts, i can’t bring myself to do the “job”..necessary for all humanity’s sake, but just the thought itself has made me want to go stick that butterknife in my neck!

    all jokes aside: I held on to the last straw on the Iraq war. I thought he cant! not with millions of people taking the street, not with the public outcry, he surely is bluffing! Really! and the day dubya shocked and awed us, little pieces of me died.

    I believe he might actually go for Iran..already a whole 1/3 of the American population is scared of Iran and that they could really blow our cherished freedoms, and SUV’s off the map. the iraq build up was the same…and as much as i hope he is bluffing, i would not be surprised if he did it…and a couple of history chapters to come, will reveal that he was really f-in’ insane as well as the 50 million plus people that voted him in a second time around…sigh.

  4. Yes, well Fox news has (unsurprisingly) already jumped into lockstep and is promoting the lie that Iran already has nuclear weapon capability and is pointing them at the US… sigh… Scared people do dumb things.

  5. Great post. I used to be able to rant and rave about that shit, but I’m getting tired of being ignored by my idiot conservative friends. Keep up the good fight…

  6. It's therapy Clay and it's doing me good!

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