Invasion of the Gay Cane Toads

Environmental disasters causes by the careless introduction of foreign species makes me angry. In Australia we have feral foxes, pigs, cats, camels and possibly the most toxic of all – the cane toad. The idea was that introducing cane toads would help the sugar cane crops in the north because the toads would eat bugs that were troubling the crops. They didn't eat the bugs and ever since they have been breeding at a prodigious rate and slowly but inexorably spreading across the entire country.

They kill a huge amount of native animals and many efforts have been made to stop them. The latest idea is to genetically engineer some toad embryos so you end up with an all male toad population – no more breeding. This sounds like a fine idea – genetically engineered mutant poisonous toads; what could possibly go wrong?

My issue with this is that I've seen the movie "Cane Toads – an Unnatural History" and one interesting fact a naturalist pointed out in that movie was that cane toads are incredibly horny. He witness one of them humping a dead one that had been squashed by a car. So if this population is made all male, there's only one possible outcome: hordes of gay cane toads! This ought to push the government into action – they seem to think expending their energy stopping gay marriage is a good idea so I'm sure they won't put up with gay cane toads humping in the streets.



Filed under General Angriness

4 responses to “Invasion of the Gay Cane Toads

  1. omg! Now I’ve got to research Cane Toads. Will you kids never let me remain blissfully ignorant?

  2. Have you found a pic yet? They are sooooo ugly. They excrete poison which can make you hallucinate in small doses (blind you and/or kill you at higher doses) I used to have the movie on beta – my favourite bit was a little girl who kept one as a pet, fed it so much it was nearly as big as her. She would dress it up in doll’s clothes. People are weird.

  3. yup seen their pic, they’re the epitome og ‘ugly’! hehe cna’t imagine a horde of gay cane toads! LoL

  4. There’s a girl at my school who looks like a cane oad. Hasn’t got alot to do with the subject at hand though…. Hmmm….

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