Who has the angriest blog?

I've been very happy with the growth of my blog so far. My measure of success (at this point) is that I'm happy with the quality of my writing, I'm maintaining daily posting and I'm getting readers. All of these are going well. Actually, I want to give another thank you to my readers and commenters – I had no right to expect to get such dedicated readers and the positive feedback I receive is both immensely gratifying and a real stimulus to constantly improve.

But it wouldn't be so good for my readers if I was too happy would it? This is not the sunshine and flowers blog, it's the angry blog – Mr Angry want to stay angry 365 days a year. Becoming the number one foreskin blog was a true honour but I was essentially ego-surfing Google and found I don't even figure on searches for "angry blog". This is more than a failure on my part – this is a crime against humanity.

It wouldn't be so bad if the other blogs were actually angrier than me but some of them aren't angry at all. It is clearly my duty to be even angrier. I never actually go hunting but right now I am dedicating myself to a virtual hunting trip. I will hunt down every so called angry blog that doesn't deserve to be called angry, get them in my cyber cross-hairs and blow their virtual brains out. Which is to say two things, I'm going to be focusing on being even angrier and I'm going to spend more time promoting how angry I am.

Because that's the sort of guy I am. Angry, shallow and vain. As John Lydon said "Anger is an energy" and it is my goal to spread the angry meme far and wide across teh internets. One thing that is important to me is also to promote the difference between productive anger and moronic behaviour. One example: railing against how mind bogglingly stupid other drivers are = good. Actually attacking someone in a road rage incident = bad. Stupid. Fucked in the head.

Road rage has apparently recently been diagnosed in some circles as an illness: Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). I am going to sue the people promoting this because they stole it from me. I diagnosed IED years ago but in my study it stood for Idiotic Example of a Dickhead. I had this crazy idea that doctors have enough work but apparently they have to keep creating new diseases because they cured cancer years ago. The real idiocy of this is the claim of how widespread it is – up to 16 million Americans are suffering from IED apparently. Listen, they aren't suffering from an illness – they're fuckwits who need a smackdown. Cut loose Chuck Norris on their arses and give them a sense of proportion.

It's sad when you can't out-parody reality. I keep hoping each of these new "diseases" is an April Fool's joke but sadly that's hardly ever the case. Apparently these idiots are serious.

9 Comments

Filed under Blogging, General Angriness

9 responses to “Who has the angriest blog?

  1. Road-rage. Ah, road-rage. When I look around at the kids at my school and think of them behind the wheel, I feel like crying and hiding under my pillow. They’re violent toward each other every day- whet would they do if someone cut them off?

  2. Honey, it’s good for you to have a “nice” day on occasion. Just be pissed about it.πŸ˜€

  3. “Because that’s the sort of guy I am. Angry, shallow and vain.”

    You forgot dedicated. Note, I didn’t use the term committed (otherwise it would be confused with “needs to be committed”)

  4. happychick: yep, I think we got us a generation of sociopaths on the horizon

    Sandra: I have many good days, there are still plenty of things happening all the time to make me angry

    Maryam: You don’t need to say committed – enough other people (like at work) do itπŸ™‚

  5. Capri

    People yell at me on my blog. 😈

  6. Idiotic Example of a Dickhead. IED.

    I almost was the victim of a crazy IED guy. He actually came out of his car, up to mine to rant at me for cutting him off, or passing him , or not letting him enter my lane. I just pressed the gas and let him smell my tire smoke. However, this was a senior (looks like I don’t have any luck with seniors), he cut off another guy, almost had a few accidents and try to follow me. Let’s just say, he never caught up, cause my Subie would have been crushed by his stupid MFing SUV.

  7. Mr.Pissedoff

    OPEN LETTER TO A GIRL I DATED FOR SIX YEARS, WHO WAS CHEATING, FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT MOVED, AND ENDED UP GIVING ME HIV.

    You know, you have taken such advantage of me. You are acutely aware how I feel about you, yet, without even thinking, you are more than willing to discuss your latest fuck-a-thon with johnny-rock-star-, some fuck with a mullet, or even your close male friends with “crooked” cocks. It is not normal to fuck 5 guys a month. What the fuck do you think the result of such things are? It took tonight and your inability to even address my simple request, for me to realize, you are absolutely pathetic and worthless.

    Seriously too. You cannot love anyone except your pathetic self. Your life is plagued with one pattern: start with great aspirations, sudden failure, excuses, next best thing. Just like your relationships, which usually last a few fucks, some in the ass, you are a dark void. Your close friends dont know you. You know yourself and you hate what you see. I realized tonight, I hate you too. I hate you and I wish nothing more than if you actually stepped up to the plate and did this world a huge favor and collapsed that ten year period you were discussing with respect to your self-imposed loneliness and collapsed it into 10 seconds. Kill yourself now. Please. Do it. Do it cunt. You believe in nothing and there is nothing to fear. Do it.

    I am so tempted to engage in a systematic scheme to completely destroy your fake image amongst this town’s small music crowd and art crowd. Your about as sexy and clever as a herpes outbreak. You are truly an unfeeling world class whore, that sucks the life out of real people around you who are foolish enough to engage you. You are a world class fake with does not deserve the air you breath.

    The vast number of men you fuck would be better served getting a whore that has half the size ass of yours, straight teeth, and a clear understanding of her role: a fucking whore thats there to suck cock and smile. I pray for calm and understanding on my part to realize that you are truly just a sick slut that needs professional help, not my anger. I would love to destroy your entire pathetic life, but you are so close to doing so on your own, why breach the prime directive. Fuck you and fuck you and die. Cross my path again and you will find in me an enemy you are unprepared to face. Fucking cunt. Your turn to rot in hell could not come soon enough.

  8. Wow, Mr Pissed Off is pretty pissed off.

  9. Yeah, that was a bit of surprise. I wonder why he chose this old post to leave the comment?

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