Marriage? That’s so Gay!

It must be fun being an arch-conservative. When everything you are doing fucks up you can trot out the spectre of the fags coming to take over the world. I mean, what do the left have to scare people with? Global warming (it's a fucking fact dammit!), rapacious corporations, lying politicians, thousands dead in Iraq with no end in sight (and the terrifying possibility of W doing worse to justify his already fucked actions). It doesn't seem to scare the voters as much as the poofs and dykes do.

It's a really simple argument that a lot of people go out of their way to obscure. Point one: do you think marriage is important? If not, the conversation's over (unless you just like arguing – if so, good for you. Fuck off and bother someone who cares.) If yes, point two: do you have a problem with homosexuals? If not, the conversation's over. If yes, admit it and I'm fine with that. You don't want same-sex marriage because you don't like gays or gay sex creeps you out or it's against God or nature or something. That's fine. You admitted it. We know what we're arguing about.

If you think you don't have a problem with gays but you don't want them to get married because marriage is only between men and women, I have some advice for you:

Stop. Fucking. Lying.

I don't know if you're lying to yourself but you're sure as shit lying to me. It's pathetic. You're homophobic – live with it. You don't like the fags. Hey, a lot of them probably don't like you. Spend all their time making fun of "breeders". So cheer up – some gays are heterophobic.

If we take the religion element out (and any religion should be able to ban gay marriage within the religion – religions are all about rules and restrictions) then we are left with the legal status of relationships. In my (not very humble) opinion, telling someone their partner has no legal status with regards to property, benefits, inheritance etc. solely because of their gender, is just fucked up. Can I be really negative and fatalistic for a minute? People talking about the "sanctity of marriage" needing to be protected from homosexuals are either delusional or lying (see homophobic, above). With a 50% divorce rate and fuck knows how many affairs going on, marriage has no sanctity – deal with it.

And then there's the "slippery slope" argument. If we let the goddam fags get married, then there's the polygamists probably closely followed by pedophiles and then the beastiality crowd. We'd be opening the flood gates I tells ya. My answer to that is as follows: my brain works in this funny way where I'm able to assess individual propositions on their own merits. I'm not limited to coming up with one conclusion to cover all eventualities. It's this crazy thing where I don't stop thinking. Weird, I know.

If gay marriage becomes legal and polygamists want to use it as a precedent to further their agenda, good luck to them. To me, they're two different propositions but if they can find someone dumb enough to agree that they should be allowed to have extended marriages solely because gay unions have been recognised then they must be pretty damn good debaters. Or they're debating with some pretty damn stupid opposition.

Oh and by the by, if you want some interesting and intelligent discourse on the topic of polygamy from a Muslim perspective, look here and here and follow some of their links. I like to end on a positive note.



Filed under Politics

14 responses to “Marriage? That’s so Gay!

  1. Hum, politics? Gay marriage?

    Like it’s the policy in Canada, I am totally for gay marriage. Even if the christian right is running the government right now, that law will never be overturned. Because the Canadian governemnt is running with a minority in the House of Commons, so they have to collaborate with other parties.

    I say, live and let live. I’ve had gay friends, they don’t ask me what I do in my bedroom and I don’t ask him what he does in his.

    Don’t ask don’t tell is a stupid policy. Everybody should be comfortable and able live their lives.

  2. That’s interesting, and I don’t know where I stand on the issue… I’ve never had a problem with gay marriages… But that’s not to say I’m 100% comfortable with homosexuality.

    If gay marriages are recognised will the Polygamists try to push their agenda? I honestly don’t know because to the polygamists, polygamy is the next best thing (sliced bread is the first)… but Homosexuality, not so much.

    Off topic, I just watched “Prime” the movie wtih Uma Thurman and some kid, and wtf was that? Moving on.

  3. Polygamy???? The line starts over here guys. 😀

    One of my dearest friends is gay. If she wanted to marry I would support her in that.

  4. Polygamy?

    In thinking of the spirit of the HBO series Big Love, why would any thinking man want the trouble of more than one wife? I mean, one wife is enough, but 3 or 4?

    I can handle only one wife. More than that, I give up.

  5. Australian actor Jack Thompson famously had a successful polygamous relationship that lasted about 20 years. I think I remember that his wives were sisters as well. I saw him interviewed once and he commented that most men only thought “two wives, eh? nudge nudge wink wink” They never considered when he came home late there were two wives waiting to take him apart.

  6. No – hell no! We’re going the other way with it. I want about 5 husbands. All will bring me their paycheck and keep me smiling. 😀

  7. Hell Boy

    gay marriages ending to polygamy, omfg,that’s extrem of stupidity. i jus agree with range how could a man be that much stupid to repeat his deadly sin of marriage with marrying more, dont i get enough from jus one?!
    but what’s really wrong about gays, why some morons like to bitch about ’em when they have nothingelse to say (well it’s better than global warming). not having quite many gay friends (some even married) i was one of ’em for a while & it was quite a good experience 😉 jebzuz talking too much, i better go change my baby
    hey sandra, do you think 5 is enough, dont yo think 6-7 can be better?!

  8. I’ve said this before elsewhere but the latest argument about gay marriage is that they have so much fun with their hot steamy non-procreative sex that they should compensate us by not getting certain benefits.

  9. I meant to say the latest argument against gay marriage. Makes more sense that way.

  10. Paul Brown

    The thing is, polygamy and gay marriage _do_ come under the same category (if you’ll forgive the expression) to me – marriage is a legal relationship, much like a business partnership is, based around ownership of property and inheritance, so I can’t see any reason why, as long as all parties are consenting adults, four guys, three women, a hermaphrodite and a transexual can’t be joined in legal matrimony.

    It would require a bit of a legal rewrite to accomdate the various child relationships that could occur, but nothing more complex than we already have with extra-marital children, adoption and so on.

    Religious marriage is obviously different; as you’ve already said, a religion is free to ban marriages between people called Ken and anyone aged 25 – 28 if they want to – it’s their club and their rules. Don’t like the rules? Don’t join, start your own club / sect / crazy assed cult.

    This doesn’t give a lot of leeway to paedophiles and beastialists / beastiophiles / horse f*ckers (or whatever the term is) unless they can think of some way to prove that a goat can give legal consent. If they can then good luck to them.

  11. Sandra: make sure you keep them taking vitamin supplements 😉

    Hellboy:it takes all sorts to make up the world

    Michelle: and to think I was previously only jealous of gays for their fashion sense

    Paul: interesting point, I’d like to see someone argue consent with an animal

  12. Um that’s so grose.

    anyway everyone’s talking about being married (to the one woman) like it soooo bad! gosh.

  13. Hi

    There is enough hate in the world, and I am just talking about locally never mind about nationally and internationally, is gay marriage really the thing people should be concentrating on?

    All that time, energy and money could be spend on helping women (or men) who are being abused by their partners, kids who are missing out on a education/love/life because their parents are so drunk/drugged out of their minds that they dont look even know their kids exist.

    If two people love each other and treat each other decently that matters more for the whole of society than whay sex they are.

    the elections will be over soon and it will all just slide back away from the limelight..

  14. Agony aunt: nicely put. I couldn’t agree more that this is a ridiculous thing to waste energy on. This is why the big things never get fixed – a constant obsession with trivia.

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