The Other Woman

Well, my girlfriend called me tonight while I was driving and could hear the other woman was in the car with me. My girlfriend knew that meant I was driving, whenever she hears the other woman’s voice she knows that means we’re in the car together. I take her other places sometime but usually it’s just in my car.

You might expect my girlfriend to be jealous of another woman but she’s pragmatic.  She knows the “services” the other woman provides and, quite frankly, providing these services makes my girlfriend sick to her stomach.

When the other woman first came into my life, it was for all the right reasons. She was going to make my life better, help me out when I most needed help. So why do I feel like it all devolved into her telling me what to do in an irritating monotone? I suppose I only have myself to blame, there was the promise of good times with music and staying in contact with friends but I could never be bothered.

She makes me angry – she sees it as trying to help me, I see it as her always telling me what to do. I know I make her angry too, especially when I ignore her telling me what to do. It’s just that she’s so obsessive and controlling – it’s impossible to get through to her that there are alternative ways of looking at things. She never says so, but I know it makes her angry when I ignore her. She’ll keep telling me what to do until we end up somewhere she’s satisfied with with. She gives me direction in life but there are times I want to find my own way.

I left the other woman behind to come inside and write this post. The more I think about her, the more I think she could be my ticket to fame and fortune. If I knew how to program a GPS navigation system to talk with personality instead of that annoying fucking monotone I bet I’d sell a million of them.



Filed under Driving

9 responses to “The Other Woman

  1. saly

    Once you figure out how to re-programme it, please send me one in man’s voice – ideally in Morgan Freeman’s voice, please!

  2. If you could programme it to have a wide choice of voices, as well as being able to add them yourself, (a friend’s or even your own voice, I’m sure some people would go for that!) and to be able to change them whenever you get sick of that voice (maybe even your own), or your opinion of the person who’s voice it is change, it could definitely work!

  3. Thank GOD the new Saturn doesn’t have one of those things. If it did, I would insist on Matthew McConnahay.

  4. Salamaat,
    nice one…i was like the “other woman?”

    i need a gps system, considering how many times i get lost in one day.

  5. Did you see Top Gear when Clarkson was arguing with the M5’s GPS woman? She wouldn’t shut up. I don’t have GPS, just maps.

  6. I truly think it’s a billion dollar idea – celbrity voiced GPS systems with personality. I’d actually like it if mine insulted me: “I said turn left, what sort of moron are you? What bit of ‘turn left’ didn’t you understand?”

    Saly: I think MF would be a very comforting GPS

    Sandra: ever the proud Texan, eh?

    Maliha: for all my complaining, I probably wouldn’t have my current job without a gps – I never would have found the interview

    Range: I don’t think Top Gear screens here. noy even on cable. I used maps for years but a gps is very reassuring.

  7. My other woman only speaks Japanese, so I have to get my wife to translate.

  8. James

    Hey, I can change my lady to an american who thinks roundabouts are traffic circles, what a hoot. Then when I am bored I change her to german but need a german dictionary to change her back again

  9. Kyklops: that could be troublesome in an emergency

    James: My other woman also calls roundabouts cricles, my kids think it is hilarious.

    I did something I rarely do – I edited this post. My girlfriend thought this was funny and thought I should mention how she can’t read maps without getting travel sick, hence the joke about “services” making her sick to her stomach.

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