Angry with real estate agents

I keep this blog pseudo-anonymous for all sorts of reasons, mostly so it doesn’t have an undue effect on my day to day life. I’m thinking of changing this policy and actively advertising the nature of my blog to people I encounter in the hope that these bastards will stop fucking with me.

In one of those hideous little coincidences life throws in you path occasionally, on the same day an insurance company decides to fuck with me, a real estate agent tries to screw up my life as well. I really hate real estate agents. At their best they are annoyingly obstructive rules-bound bureaucrats. Their more common form is soulless deliberately lying thieving scumbags. Right now, it’s their annoying shithead bureaucrat form I’m having to deal with.

Most real estate agents refuse to take cash payments for rent these days (I’m surprised more of them didn’t get held up in the days when they did take cash) and they usually give you a few options for paying. The thing that pisses me off about my current agent is that they have changed the acceptable payment methods twice in the last year. I am a hopelessly disorganised individual so I don’t adjust well to changes to the hoops these pricks make me jump through.

Their most recent vaguely worded letter made me think the changes wouldn’t affect me because they were still accepting a particular card payment system. I was using a card payment system that turned out to be the WRONG sort – the sort they weren’t going to accept any more. This resulted in one of my rent payments getting lost in the ether which led the agent to threaten me because from their perspective I hadn’t paid rent. I sorted out the rent through the OTHER payment system which they were still accepting but now there’s over $1000 of my money lost in transit somewhere. I can just see this shit dragging on for weeks as I’m the only one with an incentive to resolve it – neither the agent nor the bank involved give a shit whether or not I have my thousand bucks.

My one foray into the property ownership market also resulted in me being totally fucked over by a real estate agent. Circumstances conspired such that I had to sell the house after a couple of years which shouldn’t have been a problem because it was in a supposedly strong housing market. I tried very hard to make sure the agent was not aware of what was driving me to sell but I suspect they worked out I had a time limit and exploited my weakness. For some reason they could never get a buyer to come through with the sort of purchase price they were promising up front. Eventually I had to take a loss on the sale but the bloodsucking leeches still got there cut so they were happy.

I really fucking hate real estate agents.

So like I said, I’m thinking of going public with my blog. I’ll threaten every business entity I deal with that I’ll rip them to shreds publicly if they fuck me around. I think I’ll be able to get the point across if I wear my “Fuck you in the neck with a…” t-shirt when I’m talking to them.



Filed under General Angriness

13 responses to “Angry with real estate agents

  1. I would so love to see someones expression if you came in angry wearing that t-shirt. Especially since that is exactly what that real estate agent needs. šŸ˜€

    • Habibs

      We should make a movie … of real estate agents being dickheads to this poor guy…. and their landlords, which shows their true nature …. fucken cunts

  2. Argh. I’ve had my own problems with real estate agencies, as well as landlords, roommates, visiting relatives etc (a bit off topic I know). I could go on for hours just fuming about one living related problem or another.

    It would be great if you came out as the ashole/rippoffer/pain-in-the-ass-merchant destroyer, and film the look on all their faces. I kind of doubt you’ll do it though.

  3. What a good plan – sort of like punk’d. Maybe this is how I can launch a career in TV!

    I can go further off topic than you Michelle – you’ve reminded me of a series on Flickr called “first goatse”. It’s pictures of people’s facial expressions as they see the they see the truly horrible goatse image for the first time. It’s fucking hilarious.

  4. Cool, I have to look that up.

  5. goaste is sick.

    Other than that, yeah real estate agents are all about moving houses. Selling them as quick as possible.

  6. Goatse is indeed sick and I wouldn’t inflict it on anyone. Although photos of people having it inflicted on them are funny.

  7. Actually, I think I might have just sold my condo. Naturally, the real estate agent is getting 5%, which is about C14000$, for a month’s “work”. Real estate can be quite profitable I guess if you sell a lot of houses.

  8. Yeah, the thing that pissed me off is $20K to you is only $1K to them split among however many people so they tend not to care as much about the sale price as you do.

    That and they’re evil bastards. I don’t like that about them either.

  9. Cynthia Jarvis

    You all need to get laid and get a fucking life! How sad….

  10. This cracks me up, you have the time to find this blog, read it and make a comment but it’s everybody else who needs a life? Everyone else here is enjoying themselves, you’re the one doing things you apparently don’t like. Fuck off and die you self-hating moron.

  11. Pingback: Detour

  12. ush

    Feel free to start posting your thoughts on the fucked sellers message board.

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