One thing guaranteed to piss off a non-smoker like myself is being subjected to cigarette smoke. I hardly go out to live gigs because of the assault of smoke while I’m out and the horrible stench of stale smoke impregnating my skin, clothes and hair when I get home. So the one thing you can be guaranteed that my place won’t smell of is cigarette smoke. The fucking pope can come for a visit and I won’t let him smoke.
But I can’t stop the ghost from smoking.
I’m not a superstitious person but the only explanation I can come up with for the recurring cigarette smoke smell in my place is a wandering smoking ghost. It isn’t my imagination because my girlfriend has confirmed that she smells it as well. It tends to be strongest in the kitchen and I’ve been working on a theory that might explain it.
Before anyone gets worried and thinks I’ve left my stove on or my wiring is shorting out – this a very specific cigarette smell, not a generalised burning or smoke smell. I’ve ruled out someone standing outside my kitchen window and smoking there just to piss me off – that would be paranoid. But I’m pretty sure the ghost is a sound theory.
If it isn’t a ghost I think it may be something to do with the plumbing. I learned the hard way that all the plumbing in this building is interconnected when my bathroom flooded after someone upstairs emptied their bathtub. So I’m working on an elaborate theory that involves smoke from someone else’s apartment being sucked down the pipes and coming up my kitchen sink.
If anyone has a better theory, I’d love to hear it.