Chris Masters outs Alan Jones – He’s a classic bully

For those who don’t like to read, jump straight to the video at the end of this piece, it essentially covers the same territory. 

Remember how your mum used to always tell you that bullies were really cowards and if you stood up to them they’d run away?  Well, I’ve been beaten up by enough bullies to know that this isn’t universally true but it certainly seems true of Australian radio “personality” Alan Jones.  Jones fits the standard mould of a bloviating, egotistical, right-wing talkback radio shock jock – he’s never happier than when he’s talking about himself.

Unless it’s one of those occasions when he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions.

Jones suffers from problems common to narcissists – most notably he seems unable to come to terms with the fact that when the rest of the world conflicts with his views, it’s just possible that it’s his views that are wrong.  He made an astonishing blunder recently when he pressured the ABC into dropping a planned “unauthorised biography” written by respected journalist Chris masters.  It’s a tribute to his arrogance that he couldn’t see the only possible outcome of this action: another publisher picked up the book and Jones essentially gave it an enormous amount of free publicity.

The book was published on Monday and by all accounts it’s flying off the shelves.  It seems now everyone is keen to find out exactly what Jones wants to hide.  A lot of hoo-ha is being made about the book finally confirming one of the worst kept secrets in Australia – Alan Jones is gay.  The book actually explores this topic far further than I expected it to – read an extract here.  I really don’t give a crap about his sexuality but it is interesting to consider why he’s gone to such lengths to hide the fact.

For my money, the obvious answer is that he’s spent a lot of time cultivating a fan base of rabid rednecks and whipping them up against easy targets like refugees, migrants, Muslims generally and Lebanese Australians specifically.  Our boy Alan might be vain and shallow but he aint completely stupid.  He’s got to know that the average knuckle dragger who hates the wogs, lebs and ragheads don’t got a high opinion of no fags neither.  He’s been playing with fire for years and he’s way overdue to get burnt. 

But all that makes him a jerk, not a cowardly bully.  My evidence for this assertion is his consistent behaviour every time he is put on the spot and might have to answer for his behaviour: he runs away.  His behaviour with the publication of Masters’ book “Jonestown” is simply the latest example.  The book came out on Monday and Jones is conveniently on holiday so he doesn’t have to face any questions.  The staff at his radio station have even used the intelligence-insulting tactic of saying his holiday is nothing to do with the release of the book, he had planned the break ages ago.  Guys, the publication date was known “ages ago”.  It might serve you well to realise that we aren’t all as stupid as your target demographic.

Jones’ standard behaviour to difficult situations has always been to run.  Way back when he had his most notorious misadventure in a London public toilet in 1988, he dodged ever discussing in detail what he was actually doing that caught the police’s attention.  Maybe he stayed silent to avoid telling a direct lie (although he did promise to tell his faithful listeners the full story when the court case was over – not following through on that constitutes a lie) or maybe he felt he had the right to avoid further persecution based on an unjust law.  We don’t know because he won’t talk about it.

More recently, there was his involvement in the Cronulla riots.  In the week leading up to the ugliness on Cronulla beach, Jones was whipping his listeners up into a fury.  He was proudly proclaiming his leadership role in organising the upcoming demonstration on Cronulla beach and made no secret of his feelings towards the “outsiders” who were causing problems.  To be sure, it seems there was a serious issue with some aggressive young men, most of whom (if not all) seemed to be of Lebanese or Arabic background.

But the big day got a bit out of hand.  Racist signage and slogans were everywhere.  If that was as far as it went, it would have been an ugly display but I strongly suspect Jones would have strongly applauded it.  But then drunken idiots in the crowd started attacking anyone brown skinned they saw, going so far as to jump on trains and attack people who happened to be travelling while brown.  If all they had done was beat up males I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Jones say it was a justified response to previous violence perpetrated by Lebanese youths.

But then they started targeting women.

Traditional Muslim headwear makes women easily identifiable and several young women were assaulted by crowds of drunken young men.  A real proud moment for white Australia.  I have trouble imagining even Jones would applaud this behaviour.  But it went further than that.  The drunken crowd was whipped up into such a frenzy that they started to attack police and ambulance officers who were trying to protect brown skinned folk who were outnumbered about 100 to 1.

That’s downright “unAustralian” (oh how I hate that phrase).

So what did Jones do Monday morning?  Did he castigate the crowd and condemn their actions?  Did he say the excesses were regrettable but the previous provocation from Lebanese youths was the real issue?  Did he applaud the actions of the crowd?  None of the above.  The gutless wonder disappeared from the air so he wouldn’t have to answer questions.

So it’s hard to avoid the obvious implication.  Alan Jones is not only a loudmouth bully, he’s also a coward who will run when put on the spot.  This is an important point that some politicians should wake up to.  This seems to be one of the main goals Masters has with his book – it’s a clarion call for people to stand up to Alan Jones.  The available evidence certainly suggests that Jones will run away from anyone who challenges him.

Here’s my video editorial on the subject (warning, this is longer than my usual pieces – about 12 minutes long):

I’ve used the audio of Jones before to have a bit of fun:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Some people wonder how this audio got out “into the wild”.  It’s really pretty simple, Jones is a jerk and his staff hate him.  The tapes were deliberately released to make him look bad.  Some of the extracts from the book that I have seen contain some very specific information that I suspect Masters was able to find for basically the same reason.  When you are as abrasive as Jones, there is no shortage of people who want to spill the beans on you.  God forbid I ever gain any sort of fame.  There will be a long line of people waiting to dish the dirt on me.



Filed under General Angriness

13 responses to “Chris Masters outs Alan Jones – He’s a classic bully

  1. Salamaat,
    wow…and i thought Sean hannity was bad..Jones sounds like a world class a$$ !

    We have another one in the states called Savage; he is so bad he calls people like OReilly and Hannity “sell outs”. Sometimes, I think these people are just really kidding; you know they are really smart and are just doing it for the money, fame, etc (yes, I refuse to think people are genuinely that dumb)…

    but what’s really scary and sad; is that they have followers who actually believe and support them ?! how is it possible that *those* people have brains?

  2. Maaate!!!!!…. I wish you well….. I agree Jones is a first class tool, and I hope you get what you want… But I don’t think it’s gonna happen… as you say, the prick is a coward, and doesn’t have the balls to stand up on his own.

    I personally hope he gets fisted (gently!!!) with a chainsaw, and then falls into a pool of methylated spirits (OWWWWW), but with the millions that this prick earns, I think this is highly unlikely. You should do some talk back radio in Melbourne, and show them what it means to be right, not just white….

    Get it streamed, and I’ll listen….

  3. Nice! Thanks for this, Mr. A.

    And Maliha was right to invoke another radio ‘personality’ from here in the States, unfortunately: Michael Savage.

    Check out American liberal media watchdog MediaMatters Dot Org for some real gems. And check out the background on the founder of Media Matters, David Brock, to know why MM is so good at what they do.

    Savage doesn’t have nearly Limbaugh’s audience, but he shares the same tactics and rhetoric, along with your Alan Jones there.

    First I’ve heard of him, but I’m looking forward to future installments in this series, as well, now!

    ps. I couldn’t resist. Wanted to let gruntski know I dug his ‘Heathers’ reference, ‘fisted gently with a chainsaw’. Sorry. I’m contractually obligated to identify movie quotes.

    pps. I still think Mr. A said it better, though. Fuck ’em in the neck with a butter knife!

  4. Maliha: Yeah – he’s right out of the Sean Hannity mould – not so much like Savage (I read an article on him in I think). Jones is old and conservative. And vain and shallow and insecure. There’s one guy who makes more than him – John Laws – and that drives Jones CRAZY!

    Grunstki: Maaaate! Creative! A couple of times in the past people have suggested I might get sued for things I’ve said about Jones but now I’m convinced I won’t. First, I’ve been very careful and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen anything illegal and second, he too much of a coward to have facts brought out.

    15mins: Thanks for the media matter link. And thanks for the Heathers reference too! Ages since I’ve seen that movie. And “fuck you in the neck…” is copyright by the Bastard clan, headed by Sandra (“Now that I’m older” in my blogroll). It released under a creative commons license for all to use freely 😀

  5. my15; I didn’t actually know it was a movie quote (honestly!!). I heard a friend of mine say it one day, and was so impressed with it that I use it at every opportunity. Maybe I am placing myself in danger of copyright infringement?

    And I agree with the butterknife one from Mr A. That saying rocks!!!

  6. Oh, and the methylated spirits thing came from a joke I heard years ago…

    What’s the definition of pain?

    Sliding down a forty foot razor blade using your balls as brakes, then falling into a pool of Metho…

    I cringe eveytime I think about it…

  7. Gruntski: the metho one is old school Oz humour for sure – I remember saying that one at school!

  8. Ahhh.. them was the days….

  9. Here’s a comment that was attached to the wrong post by WordPress:

    Travis said:

    It’s not just the audio, check out the video of Alan Jones being a dick.

    As I said in your youtube the real issue is the cash for comments not his sexuality. But his sexuality is an issue if he’s being hypcritical about it.

    I remember years ago when he had his very short stint on TV. Bruce Mackinvany had a new sports show out and was celebrating when Steve Vizard crossed to him. Old Brucey was quite tanked and made a comment about how he’d be watching the men’s bodies in the upcoming athletics tournament. It was kinda implied that Bruce was either gay, bi or bi-curious. I saw Vizard at the time. I also saw Alan Jones repeat that short segment on his show. He didn’t say much but gave that dirty little smug smirk he’s famous for.

    Please tackle Andrew Bolt next

    He’s almost a bigger dick!

    My response:
    I’ve had a go at Bolt before in my post “Punishing Ann Coulter“. I equated him with Ann Coulter because they both clearly say insane shit they don’t actually believe simply to get attention. Bolt really does piss me off but I’m loathe to give the attention whore any more of the attention he obviously so desperately craves.

  10. Fair enough.

    I’ll stop thinking about Bolt from this point on.

  11. HAHAHAHA If only we could dismiss these freaks so easily! “Stop thinking about them and they will go away” Seriously, Bolt is fucking nuts enough to see a left-wing conspiracy in “Finding Nemo”

  12. SL

    I wonder what makes people think refugees are a threat! Do they think all refugees are muslims? Well, a lot of Chinese refugees here are Christians who have fled persecution in China; if the Whitests really treasure what they call the Judeo-Christian root of Australia, shouldn’t they be willing to provide shelter for their persecuted brothers and sisters from countries like China?
    The whole point of which refugees to let in is not a matter of ability to integrate, but their need of protection, refugees have suffered enormously because of their race, ethnicity, religion, political opinion and member of a particular social group (mind you, people who have fled wars are not even defined as refugees in the UN convention), and if Australia truly still believes what she used to believe, a fair go, I don’t see a reason why African refugees are not allowed in.
    The real threat is not people fleeing persecution, but the persecutors like Chinese government, the only way to reduce the number of Chinese refugees is to stop Chinese government from furthering its persecution of underground Christians, Tibetan Buddhists, Falun Gong practitioners, trade unionists, democratic activists; when they no longer suffer from persecution, they don’t need to flee out of China.
    But Australia doesn’t do it, Australia wants trades with China, Australia doesn’t have the gut to tell Chinese government “STOP THE GENOCIDE!”
    Is “economy above human rights” the new Australian value?

  13. Matthew

    Wow, didn’t realise that there was someone else out there so alarmed that someone like Jones gets away with what he does.

    Great article here by Mark Day.

    Email me if you’re interested in a campaign to get rid of these shock jocks and have them replaced with people who don’t scream and rant like a Nazi Judge!!!

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