That tears it!

I’ve wasted far too much time this week talking about big, important issues.  It’s time to have a spray about one of those little issues that absolutely shits me up the wall.  I’ve mentioned before I had to move buildings at work recently (my current employer spreads operations across a number of buildings.)  Having to move is a minor pain in the arse but coming to terms with all the little changes to the available facilities is what really pisses me off. 

The kitchenette has some pluses and some minuses.  On the plus side, the fridge seems to get a lot less use here than had been usual in other areas (this is my 5th move of the year) so there’s always lots of room for my truckloads of high-caffeine cola.  On the down side, there’s a bit of a crappy sandwich toaster.  I like making toasted sandwiches for my lunch but there are a range of different sandwich presses in the different kitchens and this is one of the crap ones. 

Good sandwich presses have a little control on the side that lets you adjust how far the top comes down, thus saving your sandwich from being squashed.  This is important because the sandwiches taste better if the bread isn’t squashed.  It does so make a fucking difference!  Stop looking at me like I’m some sort of obsessive-compulsive freak.  But this isn’t even the thing that’s pissing me off.

What’s sending me around the bend is the paper towel dispenser in the toilets.  Namely, the fucking thing doesn’t work.  There is a distinct lack of paper being dispensed.  It’s a real struggle to pull paper out without it ripping.  As your hands are wet when you try to get paper (pretty much by definition) this makes it even more likely that you’re going to rip off useless little scraps rather than get the full sheet you need which in turn clogs up the dispenser making it harder again to get any paper out.

It boggles the mind how this is possible.  This isn’t a new building so it isn’t as if someone’s recently installed the wrong facilities.  It doesn’t happen in the other buildings.  And it’s hard to blame the guy responsible for repairing facilities because I’ve seen him in there a few times trying to solve the problem.  He’s tried filing the sharp edges off the dispenser and taping over the edges but it still doesn’t fucking work!

The only thing I can think of is that someone has recently started buying a different sort of paper and its dimensions are ever so slightly out of whack with the dispenser which results in them getting stuck.  This would be a shame if it’s the case because it’s nice paper – much softer than you usually get in workplaces.  Plus, they probably bought a truckload of the stuff and they’re not going to throw it out instead of using it.

It’s lucky that I like most aspects of this job.  In some of my other jobs that had me in a bad mood most of the time anyway, an annoying thing like this would have sent me on a rampage of destruction that would have ended in multiple fatalities.  As it is, I’ve managed to limit myself to punching a few of the more annoying cow-orkers who I figure deserved it anyway.

12 Comments

Filed under Work

12 responses to “That tears it!

  1. i can see your next job application:
    reason for leaving last job: paper towel dispenser in bathroom sucked!

  2. Yeah, that would make me suspect I had a “high maintenance” employee on my hands.

  3. I miss the blood pressure machine at my old job. It was great to see how fu@#ing Stupidity would raise my pressure. We use to have a contest to see who had the highest pressure after the morning status meeting.

    Bathroom peeves are always high on the list though. They were experimenting with flush-less/waterless urinals. Great Idea make the bathroom smell like the FU#@ING MONKEY HOUSE at the ZOO.

    At this job the only thing that has really sucked is when I had to give up my office with a Window……It made the BS, Arse Biting, Arse Kissing and general stupidity somewhat tolerable. I miss my window….

  4. hellboy

    having problem with toilet stuff again?oh no, i dont have any idea why it always happen to you
    & you better make your own sandwich like ol days & never count on electric devices, it works better, at least you wont starve & have energy to write another angry post🙂

  5. marr: windows are good. That blood pressure machine sounds hilarious.

    hellboy: I’m cursed by toilets, aren’t I?

  6. [Affects old-geezer-in-Monty-Python-skit voice] Paper towel dispenser, you say? The LUXURY!! I dreeeaammmm of a paper towel dispenser!! Why, here in the jungles of Japan there’s nary a dispenser in sight, let alone paper towel to fill it with. You young people today don’t know how good you’ve got i, I say! Coddled, that’s what you are!! And toilets? Hah! Don’t even get me started on those ceramic holes-in-the-ground they call toilets here in the land of “if-it-moves-let’s-eat-it”. Just yeaterday, as I was foraging through the mud looking for some worms to go with my raw horse’s ass on bamboo, I recalled my halcyon days back in Canada–toilets, paper-dispensers, cooked food, all the amenities of civilization, and a tear came to my eye. By God, those were the days…

  7. You’re not fooling anyone, everyone knows japan has the most advanced toilets in the world! 25% of Japan’s GDP goes into toilet advancement technology.

  8. Yes, that’s true, Mr. Angry, but what the statistics don’t tell you is that all of those toilets are in people’s homes. Public toilets, and especially those in public institutions are positively stone age. Also, everyone knows that the Japanese work 25 hours a day (so they keep telling us!), so no one is ever home to use their nice “captain’s chairs”!

  9. Public toilets suck royally in Asia, I can attest to that.

  10. oh yeah, public toilets in asia… *shudder*

  11. Public toilets in the ME are awful!

    I hate when toilet paper dispenser sucks! But, more importantly, why is it your FIFTH move in a year?

  12. It wasn’t my choice to move 5 times, they just kept moving me. 5 different desk in 3 different buildings!

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