Somebody’s saying something on the internet!

One thing that will be experienced by anyone who spends more than five minutes online is an argument with some fuckwad who asserts their superiority over you by asserting some “fact” about their “life”.  The utter pointlessness of this as a line of argument does little to diminish its popularity among knuckleheads who seem to really enjoy picking fights with people they’re confident they’ll never have to face in real life. 

The first area where this argument usually falls down is that it rarely has any material relevance to the issue being discussed.  It’s usually self-aggrandisement for the sake of self-aggrandisement.  The second (and to my mind more important) area where this falls down is that the facts are totally unverifiable.  What the fuck is the point of saying “I have millions of dollars,” “I have ten post-graduate degrees,” “I had sex with five hotties last week”?  You can’t prove it (unless you’re a well-known public persona – and if that’s the case, why are you wasting your time arguing online?)

One of my favourite completely un-PC jokes I’ve ever seen on a website is “Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics – even if you win you’re still retarded.”  I’m sure I’ll get heaps of hate mail for using that one.  Let’s simplify things by saying if you hate me for using that line, you’re right. 

Having said all that, it’s often very difficult to resist responding in kind.  The most common attack launched on me is “You don’t have a life, you loser!  Get a job!  You’re obviously unemployed and don’t have a girlfriend, that’s why you have so much time to do all this stuff.”  This is usually nothing more than a generic insult with no meaning but some haters think they are justified in saying this because it seems logical to them.  All of my output suggests to them that this is all I do.

I feel compelled to say that I’m an IT professional who makes quite a bit of money and has a rather lovely girlfriend but really, what’s the fucking point?  Anyone who launches an attack like that is obviously a fucking moron and should be utterly disregarded.  Plus, I’m pretty much doing the same thing as them; making an unverifiable statement in an online environment and pretending that actually means anything.

Anybody who’s had the fortitude to struggle through the mountain of abusive comments I’ve received on YouTube for having the temerity to post anti racists videos will see that my responses go in cycles (I’ve linked to these before).  Sometimes I laugh at them, sometimes I taunt them, sometimes I respond with incredibly angry and abusive comments of my own. 

My current mood swing has me saying to them “You know I don’t give a shit about anything you say, right?  You are totally meaningless.”  At the moment this feels like the easiest way to respond to them and it’s certainly better for my mental health to not bother engaging with these idiots.  I’ll probably change my mind about this in another week or so.

One thing I’ll never change my mind about: anyone who disagrees with anything I say is an ignorant loser who doesn’t make as much money as me and doesn’t get as much hot sex.  It must be true because I said it on the internet.



Filed under General Angriness, Internet

10 responses to “Somebody’s saying something on the internet!

  1. Another good one is DWP…

    “Don’t Wrestle the Pig”

    You both get dirty but the PIG likes it….

  2. Robinho

    Mr angry, i think you have to calm down! Although I do agree with you, but you should take a break somtimes, get more “hot sex” .. jokes!

  3. A couple of statements that are true because I said so….

    I make ZILLIONS of dollars.
    I’ve had wild unabandened sex with lots of PORN stars.
    Aparently, Britney Spears not only has no talent, she also has no undergarments!

    This is what makes the web great in the first place. A place to be able to share ideas, verbal abuse, and being able to post untrue statements on other peoples blogs.

    And I just heard on the news that ” My Space ” is deleting some UNSAVORY blogs and as I said in one of your earliar posts, YOU TUBE cannot be far behind!

    Oh and one of the above statements is true, you try to figure out which one.

  4. A quick update about my comment about myspace. Aparently some law enforcement organization in co-operation with my space are filtering thru their online community looking for sex offenders and getting these folks booted. No info about how they are accomplishing this, but personally I feel that this is a good thing.

  5. marr” I like it!

    Rob: if you saw the search terms in my referral logs you’d think all I talk about is sex.

    blu: wired news did a really good story on how easy it is to find sex offenders on myspace.

  6. Haha! I like your un-PC joke, but that’s just me. I like un-PC jokes sometimes 🙂

  7. Jennifer

    People will do anything to get attention. Sad thing is they’re not picky about what kind of attention it is.

    Off topic:

    I thought you said once that you were open to ideas to write about on this blog (my memory is in question always) so I have a couple:


    2. People that insist on talking to you while you or they are in the bathroom stall. One or both of us is half naked and, I’m sorry, I can’t deal with the mental image. (This may be more of a female problem as I have no experience in the men’s room, at least none that I’ll share.)

    I did a quick search and didn’t find any posts of either of those topics.

  8. Suroor: I’m obviously the same 🙂

    Jennifer: yeah, for some people, bad attention is obviously better then no attention. So far as your suggestions go, I like them 🙂 I’m thinking of a piece about online communication and the CAPS thing would fit in nicely (I can’t believe some people STILL do this) You’ve come up with a variation on disgusting toilet behaviour that I haven’t covered – if you haven’t done so already, do a search of my posts with the keyword “toilet” and you’ll see how obsessed I am.

  9. Angy American

    I think you are an ugly loser with a small penis who got beat up as a kid and had your lunch money stolen. That is while you can only find happiness on the internet.

    While I am very handsome, sucessful, rich and have a large penis which I use to have great sex with lots of hot women. And I can beat you up with one hand tied behind my back and take your lunch money.

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