A more accurate heading for this post would be “the actions of some women appal me, make life more difficult for all women and either confuse men or reinforce negative behaviour in men.” But really, that’s too long a heading for a blog post and I’m shallow enough to resort to a an inflammatory, attention-grabbing heading when I see an opportunity.
The specific behaviour that is appalling me the most at the moment is the behaviour of the women who are dating a friend of mine. Their behaviour starts to be appalling when they agree to date him at all. He’s about 45, not much to look at, not fabulously wealthy, the possessor of a range of disturbing personality traits and he refuses to consider dating women who are (a) over 30 and (b) fail his measure of attractiveness (a measure he would fail dismally if it were applied to him).
Essentially, although he’s a friend of mine, I think it’s fair to characterise him as a prick. Vain, self-centred and shallow. And he does very little to hide his nature when he meets these women. Amazingly, not all of them run screaming for the hills. Some of them even put out. What the fuck is up with these women? Lift your fucking game already, you’re letting the whole team down!
He regularly asks for my opinion and/or advice (basically because I’m happy and he isn’t) and I regularly refuse to give it. Because he doesn’t fucking listen. Every now and then I’ll snap and be unable to resist giving him advice. The advice will usually be some variant of “Stop what you’re doing! That thing you’re doing, (and the particular thing will change from time to time) stop doing it because it’s a really fucked thing to do!”
But why should he listen? These women keep lining up for dates and he keeps getting semi-regular sex (which is how he measures success) so he can’t understand why I tell him to change his behaviour. Maybe I’m more concerned for his immortal soul than he is. I keep telling him “You’re 45 and single, this is probably your last chance going up to bat. Stop fucking it up!” But his “results” suggest to him he doesn’t need to change.
From my experience in dating, the biggest thing he has going in his favour is that he doesn’t have any kids (that puts a lot of women off – rightly or wrongly). Like I said, he’s not much to look at but attractive women as young as 20 are going out with him. He’s not fabulously wealthy but he is a successful professional so I guess at least some of them are “after his money” but it still doesn’t make much sense to me.
Ladies, if you want my advice, don’t try and change men. Men aren’t going to stop being pricks as long as there are ANY women who’ll put up with it and even reward it. Plus, it leads men who aren’t pre-disposed to act like pricks to think they’d be more successful with women if they WERE pricks. Focus your attention on changing women who put up with this shit. The enemy within always does more damage than the enemy outside.