My WordPress blog now seems to be getting around 500 comment spam a day. All successfully blocked by Akismet – eat that you spamming sacks of shit! The downside of this is that if I forget to clear the spam traps for even a few hours it builds up to the point where checking for false positives is a pain in the arse. In other words, I’m deleting huge chunks of comment spam and just living with the possibility that legitimate comments might get caught up in the filters.
A quick tip: the thing most likely to get you caught in the filters is including more than one URL in a comment. I’m not trying to put people off providing relevant links (I like links) but more than one greatly increases your risk of being filtered as spam.
I’d actually like to single out two of the spammers for special mention and tell you what I’m going to do to them if I ever catch them. One of them precedes their URLs with a line of broken English saying essentially “Hi, this isn’t spam.” There’s something about the sheer affront of this lie that makes me want to punch the person in the face. Then there’s the one who submits literally hundreds of URLs in each spam which seem to take forever to scroll through.
If I ever catch this bastard I’m going to shoot them in the face so their mother can’t give them an open coffin at their funeral (I’m channelling “Goodfellahs” today.)