Get out of my goddam way!

I’d like to wax angry for a moment about the demented bastard sibling of the driver I was getting all angrified about yesterday.  Someone who sits right behind you but won’t overtake really pisses me off.  Right up with them is a driver who you get stuck behind who makes it impossible to pass them.

When the road is clear the accelerate to well above the speed limit.  But if there’s oncoming traffic or you’re going uphill or around a bend so it isn’t safe to pass the bastard slows right down.  And then you get an overtaking lane so you think you’ll finally get past them BUT there’s another vehicle in front of them so they swing around to pass that car.

But they don’t overtake.

They keep pace with that car so both lanes are blocked.  Until the overtaking lane runs out.  Then they seem to wake up to the fact they were supposed to ACTUALLY FUCKING OVERTAKE WHILE THEY WERE IN THE OVERTAKING LANE.  So they pass the car as the overtaking lane leaving you shit out of luck. 

For ages I was unsure as to whether they were doing this shit deliberately or they were just fucking morons.  So I ran one of them off the road.  Purely in the name of science you understand.  I dragged them from their overturned car and politely asked them what the fuck they thought they were doing.  They seemed a little dazed and confused so I helped them out by slapping them repeatedly until they made sense.

They admitted they were completely unuaware of how obstructive they were being.  Or they might have been asking for an ambulance.  It’s hard to be sure – they were coughing up a lot of blood.

Still, at the end of the day I think I provided them with some much needed education.



Filed under Driving

2 responses to “Get out of my goddam way!

  1. sounds familiar….

    I’m glad you ran the fucker off the road though, and I too, would have pulled them out of the car, if only to ensure success when I ran them over…


    and again and again and again.

  2. The guy who sat in the middle lane of a motorway doing 60mph, forcing everyone else to cross two lanes just to get around him, could you slap him next? Or the lorries that grind up hills at 30mph, two-abreast, just because going 1mph slower would be sooo non-macho: maybe you could deal with them as well? Then maybe my Xmas travels wouldn’t be quite so maddening…

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