How to screw up eCommerce

Working in IT, I come into contact with a huge number of techno-idealists.  The sort of geeks who think technology is going to change everything.  Nerds who think the internet is the pinnacle of achievement.  Even zealots who believe that computer programs will spontaneously develop self-awareness and intelligence.   I’ll tell you why these idealistic views of the future are never going to fully come true:

People are fucking morons.

Every now and then I stumble across a website that really brings home the fact that intelligent computers are never going to happen because unintelligent and/or lazy people are getting in the way.  People are always talking about how eCommerce is going to put bricks and mortar shops out of business; a view I take with a grain of salt.  Mostly because of how hard most websites make it to give them any money.

Your average shop doesn’t make you jump through hoops to spend money.  Usually if you even look like getting your wallet out they’re all over you.  The biggest difficulty you usually get is a disinterested teenager behind the counter who’d rather talk to her boyfriend than serve you.

Recently I had to deal with the height of stupidity from a website.  I was trying to buy a “gift certificate” and the had a few denominations listed: $10, $20 and $50.  I thought I’d get a $20 voucher but is was marked as “SOLD OUT”.  How the fuck can it be sold out?  It doesn’t even exist as such.  It isn’t as if they have to run out and print some more, it’s a fucking electronic transaction.

So long as there are fuckwits doing things like this with websites, eCommerce is never going to take over.



Filed under Internet

8 responses to “How to screw up eCommerce

  1. “I’ll have one of them $3.20 gift certificates, thanks…..”

    and they could fucking do it, too, if they wanted…

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again….

    Fucking Pricks….

  2. Then there’s the websites that make it so difficult to find what you’re looking for in the first place, they have such weird titles for the categories and then when you click on it you have to go through about 3 different things before you get to see what you’re looking for, and that’s before you even think about paying for something, I don’t usually even get that far.

  3. Here’s a fun thing I hit recently. Try to make a *large* online purchase and you can completely the transaction because the free gift that is automatically tacked on is out of stock.


  4. Mad Mexican

    Why can’t you understand why they can run out of $20.oo gift certificates. You remind me of the salesperson that gave that funny look when I asked for a replacment ink cartridge for my display monitor. If my display monitor will not display my black text it is obvious it is low on black ink !!!!!!

  5. Well, Mr. Angry, can’t help you there. That is pretty messed up right there, no 20$ gift vouchers, sorry, you will have to get 2×10$ or 1×50-3×10 or whatever.

  6. Ha! That’s hilarious. (And nice analogy, Mad Mex.)

    Today I’ve updated DNS records for several hours, anyway, so I feel a little sick. Pity me!

  7. freaking hilarious this post Mr. Angry! 😀

    and i couldn’t agree more! 😉

  8. If they had said they were letting say 500 limited edition downloads of $20 be downloaded and then said we are sold out… maybe. But even that makes me kind of laugh if it is in digital format only and will remain as such. 😛

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