If my neighbour is really lucky I’ll have left for my New Zealand holiday before I kill the fucker. The cheap bastard has a shitty car that never starts properly and he’s too cheap to get the fucking thing fixed. I know this because I’m always hearing him try to start it. You know that annoying rrrr-rrrr-rrrr noise you get when a car engine won’t turn over? I get to hear that very regularly.
In itself, that wouldn’t be so bad. But when it finally kicks into life, the ignorant prick revs the guts out of it for about a minute. I’m assuming he does this in the hope the engine won’t cut out again. Now, I’m not a mechanical expert but I think he’s actually damaging his already fucked engine by doing this. Maybe someone who knows something about engines could confirm this. But it’s a pissy little van and the engine sound like an over-worked lawn mower when he revs it.
He’s done this once while I was making a video and I had to stop until he’d finished because of the noise. Maybe I should actually make it the topic of the video next time it happens. He’s also done it very late at night but he stepped waaaaaaay over the line when he did it this morning. At about 6-fucking-a-fucking-m. The only reason he lived through it is I’m so out of it at that time of the morning he’d made a getaway by the time I’d stumbled into some clothes.
Assuming he lives through tonight, he’s got the two weeks I’m away to fix the fucking thing. If it happens again after I get back I’ll muffle the noise by jamming his fucking head up the exhaust pipe.