When I came up with my tag lines for “The Angry News” (“everyone else is lying to you” in the opening credits and saying “that’s the news and that’s the truth” at the end of each bulletin) I was being mildly ironic. Like any sensible person would seek the truth from a raving lunatic who wears a mask and makes satiric jibes about stories he thinks are funny.
But then there’s the underlying reality of so-called news reporting. In my opinion, well over half of what we get from the media is either deliberate lies or so lazily reported that it may as well be a deliberate lie. And every now and then it’s done so obviously that I want to scream at people “Can’t you fucking tell this is all lies being fed to you? Don’t you have a brain? What’s so fucking hard about thinking for yourself?”
And then there are the instances that are so fucking funny I want to laugh hysterically. Another one of these happened in Australia this week on one of the appalling nightly tabloid shows. This particular show has had a series of “embarrassments” in the last year where they’ve been repeatedly outed as liars and/or idiots. It got so bad that the long-running host had to resign in disgrace. But not before she provided some good laughs like reporting on the Steve Irwin memorial wearing a khaki safari suit with a fucking lizard on her shoulder!
It happened again this week when they reported on the shocking story of an 84 year old grandmother who was being kept chained up in a nursing home. Shocking to be sure, but it wasn’t true – they staged the whole thing. They didn’t exaggerate the circumstances, it was a complete fucking lie! They’ve been trying a few verbal contortions to get around the embarrassment of being found out but there’s no getting around the fact it was a premeditated lie.
I decided to do an Angry News bulletin on the story because it was too funny to pass up. A little insight into how I do these videos: I basically make it up as I go along. I get the initial idea and start the camera. If you saw the unedited video you’d see how many times I got back to look at the original story to come up with the next line. That’s also why there are usually a lot of edits in these relatively short videos.
When I started the video I was going to say the host was probably innocent because she wouldn’t put her credibility on the line for such an obvious lie. But even as I was recording the piece I realised this didn’t hold up logically. To run with a story like this you have to either be brain damaged or in on the lie. Really, the host’s only defence is that she’s hot. That’s a pretty valid defence in today’s media.
What it comes down to is these contemptible scum in the media think they can feed us laughably obvious lies and get away with it. Then tell more lies when they get caught. And this is over something utterly inconsequential. I don’t even want to get into how they foster hatred and aid and abet governments to sell their lies that get us into wars. I have this horrible feeling I’m going to end up on the receiving end of their lies one day. God-DAMN I hate these fucking liars!
Anyway, I got really angry there when my original intention was to be funny. So here’s a video of me being funny.
6 responses to “You need The Angry News – everyone else really is lying to you”
It’s like a black fly in your chardonnay.
Or perhaps, rain, on your wedding day.
I like irony. It makes my shirts look good.
Once in Ireland, many years ago, we had a show called “News for the deaf” which was…well, you can figure it out. However, one day there was a typo in the program listings and it became “News for the dead”. I still think this was a far, far more fitting name…
Hmmm, not sure I believe you there..
Funny is great. We all know (at least all my circle of
friends) that the media is just sensational trash. Dirt and garbage to sell papers and shows.
By the way, you said, “Fuck old people” – ahh, keep in mind (and this is the truth) – they are US in the future…if we make it that long!
gruntski: I like irony but I’d prefer silvery or goldy
paddy: sounds like a ratings winner
michelle: honest, you can trust me
marsha: That was a joke 🙂 in many circles I’m already regarded as an old person.
I’d just woken up when I made that comment, and made the bizarre link between irony and ironing.
Shoot me now…