Just to show that yesterday’s post was an April Fool’s joke (apart from the stuff about milestones – that was true) WHY THE FUCK DO SOME PEOPLE BRAKE AS THEY APPROACH GREEN LIGHTS? Some people hate drunk drivers. Some people hate fast drivers. Some people hate slow drivers. I just really fucking hate stupid drivers.
I can think of two frames of mind that could contribute to someone braking as they approach a green light. One would simply be when they are too fucking stupid to remember that green means go (this is actually the camp that I suspect most stupid drivers belong to). The second option would be that they think “Hmmm, that’s been green for a while. It might change before I get there and I don’t want to have to jam on the brakes at the last second. I should start slowing down now and see if it goes red.”
If this is the case with you, may I suggest the following: fucking deal with it already! I’m no fan of the people who speed through orange lights (or worse yet, red lights) but braking while the light is green is stupid. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy: of course the fucking light will change if you slow down enough. Here’s what the different colours actually mean:
GREEN: Go. How simple is that? Just. Fucking. Go.
ORANGE: If you can stop without slamming on the brakes then do so. If the light turns orange just as you reach it, it’s perfectly acceptable to go through. You don’t have to jam on the brakes and you don’t have to slow down while the light is still green.
RED: Stop. Not speed through because “it only just turned red.” Not go through because you’re impatient or you’re frustrated with how many times you’ve been stopped in traffic. It’s pretty bloody simple really.
Having to go to work sucks. Having to drive sucks even more. Having to deal with flat-out stupid people in traffic raises the whole thing to a new level of sucktasticness. I’m in a nostalgic mood still thinking about my past year of posts. To go back to one of my early outcries: what the hell is wrong with you people?
Angry 365 Days a Year 
One of the first lessons I got from a driving instructor was this: “Everyone else on the road is mentally deficient.”
Its one of those pieces of advice that stays with you for the rest of your life!
I’m probably one of those people when it comes to 7 am on a Monday morning. But my reason is that I’m practically asleep at the wheel and I see traffic lights and my brain goes like this:
Eyes: “Look, Traffic Lights.”
Brain: “Right, let’s slow down.”
Foot: “Slowing down now.”
Eyes: “No, wait it’s alright they’re green.”
Brain: “Sorry, what did you say, I was concentrating on slowing down.”
Eyes: “They’re GREEN.”
Brain: “Zzzzzz…. What? A spleen?”
Eyes: “green!”
Brain: “What’s green.”
Eyes: “The fucking traffic lights.”
Foot: “That’s good, because I didn’t slow down enough anyway.”
Brain: “Huh? What? What’s going on… Oh shit, I’m driving… Better wake up.”
And so on, all the way until I get to work.
I’m happy not having to use a car, but on rare occassions. (Still haven’t driven any this year.) Just a hazzle really. And I like walking and biking much better.
I’m not fond of drivers in general, a luxury I’m allowed to indulge in by having no need to be one myself. I have to say though, the ok ones just fade into the background of my life, as something I have to deal with to get across the road.. but the stupid/asshole ones (often the very same ones) really, really piss me off. They either speed up when they shouldn’t or slow down when they shouldn’t, making me wait, or almost hitting me, or honking their horn, or cutting in front of someone else making them hold me up.. I could go on and on. I won’t.
try crossing the road sometime. on foot. with the lights in your favour. without having to run out of some vehicle’s way.
wtf is wrong with these motorists?
I got an insight about the green-light-brakers a while back. I passed some old guy who was hitting his brakes at green lights and glanced at him as we approached a green–he was squinting up at the road sign trying to read it. Third option: they’re blind and/or illiterate. Why illiterate blind folk are allowed to drive, well, I couldn’t tell you that one…
I’ve noticed this too. What I concluded was that the driver was colour blind and the problem colours are none other than green and red which are used in traffic lights. Pictures are worth a thousand words so check out how the red strawberries and the green leaves appear at this link http://www.vischeck.com/info/wade.php
If you have ever been to Atlanta Georgia, you really don’t know what to do on a (yellow) sometimes called “pink” light.
If you stop, you risk getting rear ended…if you try to pass through, you may run into the guy in front of you.
vettiliveinnorthcote,
I was actually just in that situation, nearly hit by a motorcycle.
That makes the situation all the more awkward, since we can hear what eachother is saying. All profane, of course.
Then the girl that was on the back of the motorcycle apologized.
I have to say, though that if that guy hadn’t slowed down for the green, I’d have been in deep doo doo.
yes, the world is a seriously messed up place. when in doubt and when frustrated, just run everyone over.
Well, where I am you slow down for green because of all the bastards crossing in front of you going on red.
Seriously.
I’ve learned to never EVER brake on amber round here and that means I go through a quarter of a second or so into the red cycle once in a while. What blows me away is that whenever I do that, I am always followed by two cars and sometimes by three.
Aphra.
“Having to go to work sucks. Having to drive sucks even more. Having to deal with flat-out stupid people in traffic raises the whole thing to a new level of sucktasticness. I’m in a nostalgic mood still thinking about my past year of posts. To go back to one of my early outcries: what the hell is wrong with you people?”
They’re in the MATRIX…..! Anyone driving to work to make money to pay for things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like are STUPID! They’ve been sucked into the Matrix, at the mercy of the system, enslaved by the economy.
This is my first time on this blog…… I like it. I’m really angry with the world as well, seeing it self destructing in front of my very eyes and turning into shit. This is the first generation EVER to pass onto their kids a world in much worse shape.
Mike.
Hi Mike, welcome aboard. I find being angry in a blog helps me be more balanced in day to day life. Also, as you point out, it’s hard to avoid noticing the world going to shit and anger seems the only sane response to that.
OK ….all i have to say FOPS…*(fucking old people)