The title of this post is a little joke for Doctor Who fans. The Doctor’s primary form of transport is the TARDIS which stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. The dimensions of time and space don’t follow expected rules with the TARDIS – it’s able to travel through time and it’s bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside.
Anyone who has moved house will see where I’m going with this. The normal rules of time and space do not apply when you are moving house:
- Every time you think “this will take about another hour” you’ll be lucky if you’re done in six hours.
- Every time you think you have enough boxes it will turn out that you have less than half the number you need.
- And every time you think “this is the last load of stuff I need to cart around to the new place” there will be more fucking stuff that you missed.
And how is it, that even though I’m moving from a smaller place into a bigger place, it seems like all the crap is never going to fit into the new place? It’s all finally in now but it’s piled up all over the house. And I want to put it in order but that’s hard to do because the furniture and storage units aren’t in their proper places but you can’t put the furniture in the right places because of all the goddam boxes!
The only possible answer is that the cosmos itself is against me! The very laws of times and space are being twisted just to screw up my life.
11 responses to “Time And Relative Dimensions In Moving House”
that’s what you get for mocking the almighty! oh, so you think the new house is bigger, do you? Well, then, let’s just increase the size of all your crap! bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Think about how long you spent in your last place finding obscure places for all that stuff to be put. You probably spent YEARS finding obscure nooks and crannies (yes, I just posted to use the phrase “nooks and crannies”) for places to occupy. Why even now your old place is becoming structurally unstable because the pile of books you’d placed in the corner of the office had actually been load-bearing.
Also think about how much stuff you bought, versus how much stuff you threw out while you were living there.
Now learn the lesson that if it takes you more than five minutes to figure out where something new should go, then you should get rid of something old to make room. Otherwise your next house move is going to be that much worse.
Actually, having done it so many times I’m getting pretty good at this moving thing. The last time I moved I shoved a bunch of stuff in bags and carried it up the street over a couple of days, as I was clever enough to be moving into/taking over the flat of someone I know. Of course, I have almost no possessions to speak of, and no actual furniture.. that might have something to do with it.
I’d rather live out of my car than have to move again. It’s my wife’s fault. She will wash the dishes before packing and again as they’re being unpacked. Me, I’d be happy to burn everything and buy new stuff, just to avoid packing and moving it. On moving day I probably wouldn’t mind being struck by a speeding car.
Did I mention that I don’t like moving much?
I once moved house in 2 shopping trolleys…ah, those were the easy and bleary student days…
I just got moved into a SMALLER place. Took 3 days to get it all moved and I’d packed for 3 weeks. I am next door to a nursing home. I told Adam the next time I move it will be his job to move me there. I HATE FUCKING MOVING.
oh man, I have to move too in a few weeks (once I secure the new place) and am NOT looking forward to it 😦
Add all that to having a toddler who will be gleeful at all the mess and mayhem that will ensue.
Sigh..i am tired just thinking about it!
Tom: You’re right, yet again, I’m being struck down by the almighty.
Massif: good advice – a few things were culled in the move but I suspect many more will go in the unpacking.
Michelle: fewer possessions definitely makes it easier
Kyklops: I’m with you, plus that dishwashing thing sounds uncomfortably familiar
Paddy: and who needed removalists when you were a student? A slab of beer was ample payment for friends
Sandra: I had to move into a smaller place two years ago – it nearly killed me.
Maliha: Salamaat, a toddler will indeed make the whole process more… interesting.
I hate moving!
It sucks badly.
So will you have another pool at yer new place? If it wasn’t so bloody cold – and your pool wasn’t so full of leaves and debris – I’d have swam when I visited ya…so be sure to get a place with a nice pool for my next visit! 😉
range: much suckage
Jason: long time no visit mate 😀 No pool but a dangerously derelict climbing frame to have fun on. Plus, I’m close to the beach now – perfect for a visit next summer.