Don’t mess with Dubbo

It isn’t often that my home town makes the news in a major metropolitan newspaper.  So what major event can propel this relatively insignificant provincial centre into the limelight you ask?  Is it something that will make the sons and daughters of Dubbo proud?

Well… it seems the town is being shat on.  A lot.  The town is overrun by starlings.  These filthy fucking starlings (I’ve always hated the bastards) are shitting on anything that doesn’t move.  So drastic action is called for.  And in Dubbo, they don’t fuck around when drastic action is called for.

Now, the actions might seem a bit weird, but you can’t say they’re not trying.  They tried scaring them away with laser lights and blasting them away with water cannons.  I shit you not, they even tried dosing the bird up with hallucinogens.  Apparently they idea was to paint trees with hallucinogenic drugs and the starling would absorb the acid throw their claws.  The resulting bad trip would supposedly make them leave.  Or drop dead.

I think the only result of this plan would be for desperate young locals to wander around town licking trees in the hope of getting lucky.  So don’t fuck with Dubbo – we’ll mess you up.  Somehow.  Here’s a link to the newspaper article that inspired me and here’s the video I made after being so inspired:

4 Comments

Filed under Video Blogging

4 responses to “Don’t mess with Dubbo

  1. I don’t know why they think getting starlings all tripped out is going to make them leave. Acid is not good for navigation, or I’ve been told by people, I wouldn’t know myself. Those birds won’t be able to find their way out of town, they’ll just hang around on the streets all fucked up and shitting as much as ever.

  2. and if the sharpshooters get into the tree-paint, you’ll have paranoid trigger happy gun-toters in your streets. it won’t just be the starlings running for cover then…

  3. Michelle: I think they guy who came up with the “trip” idea had taken too much acid himself.

    vetti: yeah, a redneck country town with lots of gunfire – what could go wrong?

  4. Dammit! I wanted some proof about the quantity of shit starlings produced, but all I found were unhelpful guides on starling pest control.

    The irony is too much for me, perhaps I ought to do some work.

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