Welcome to stressvile – population: me!

It may not be immediately obvious to readers of this blog but I have a slight tendency towards obsessiveness (/sarcasm).  It usually helps in my work because my job is essentially to solve problems so an obsessive nature helps when you have to pursue a particularly elusive solution.  The trouble is, when I can’t see what the solution is, or a clear path to a solution I have to fight down a rising urge to freak out.

My brain essentially divides itself into two halves: the freaking out part (oh my god!  I don’t know what the solution is this very second!  I’m a fraud, they’ll fire me for sure!) and the part that’s trying to get me to calm the fuck down and be realistic (you’ll get there in the end, nobody’s saying you have to have a conclusive answer right now, just keep working on it.)

And it’s all made a bit harder by the fact that I’m not particularly driven to do the work.  It’s engaging enough so far as work goes and I’m paid quite well so I’m not complaining but it isn’t in my soul if you know what I mean.  I don’t bound out of bed every morning bursting with the excitement of another full day of business analysis.

The blogging and video making are far closer to what I actually want to do as opposed to what I need to do to earn money.  It provides a good balance (work to earn money, other stuff to have fun and feel fulfilled) but I have been noticing of late that as work gets more stressful, blogging seems waaaaay more appealing.  So I get distracted from work which ultimately leads to more stress which makes work less appealing which makes the internet more appealing and all that distraction is but a mouse click away.

Damn you, internet!

11 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Work

11 responses to “Welcome to stressvile – population: me!

  1. tom

    it’s quite clear that computers were invented with the sole intention of driving us all insane!

  2. Very interesting. It’s almost as though I could have written this post myself (with some minor variations). I suppose there really are people out there who can’t wait to get to work in the morning, but I’m not one of them (although, having accepted the responsibility, I do give it my best effort).
    Yes, it seems that at every step my dreams have been crushed–I can’t be a cowboy, a pro hockey player, a rock star, a porn star–life is cruel…

  3. tom: the evidence certainly supports your hypothesis.

    kyklops: very, very cruel.

  4. Indeed, this is a common phenomenon.

    I’m currently avoiding work at the moment because I’m annoyed at the bloody mindedness of the system I’m having to work on. Which just puts off having to work on it, which just means I’ll have less time to get the work done, and therefore that the work’ll be more stressful, and hence something I really want to avoid.

    In fact, it’s so common – surely there must be a word for this kind of behaviour… Apart from perhaps “employment”.

  5. for the first time in a few years/jobs, I have minimal computer usage (apart from pos cash register usage, which doesn’t count). Result? no stress, no dealing with emails, and every day is fabulous. I am excited about going to work each day, and I get to do what I do best – interact with people, increase sales, and create kickass store layout. What’s not to like?

  6. Salamaat,
    sigh…you just sang my own blues… If you keep applying yourself to your passion though, in the end you will be able to merge the money+soul thing (although they do seem to be incompatible at some point….)

  7. …although it did take me 10 years to get to this point, I can honestly say I’ve found my niche now. Hang in there folks, the job you dream of is out there!

  8. Arrrgghhh….the addictive cycle of blogging and falling behind and then blogging to ignore falling behind and falling more behind. I can’t believe my dream job is still 10 years away-lame!
    Christopher Ruddy

  9. Blogging gooood….. work baaaad….
    Four legs gooood…. Two legs baaaad..

    Oh wait, wrong thought.🙂

  10. Yeah I was part of stressville as well for the last few months. At least it’s calmed down as well.

  11. Massif: I think “ennui” may be an appropriate term

    Vetti: it’s good to hear how well things are going for you and good to have evidence that we should all keep trying

    Maliha: I do feel like I’m moving closer to my goals… we’ll see what the next year brings

    Shelb: yeah… the fact that the future is so far in the future is a bit of a drag.

    CinnKitty: I reckon you’ve summed it up

    Range: you certainly did have a pile up of things for a while – glad it’s settling down

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