Cooking with Mr Angry

I’m thinking of making some cooking videos.  Seriously.  I like to do different things occasionally and it would be good to do something that might surprise people.  I’m actually a pretty good cook and I reckon I could teach people a few simple recipes.  With a Mr Angry twist, of course.

To give you an example of a Mr Angry twist I provide you this illustration of some stupid crap I have to put up with at work.  I’m a big fan of the toasted sandwich (I think I may have mentioned that before.)  I think the simple act of toasting a sandwich makes it taste much better.  I’m one of those type who thinks it isn’t a good toasted sandwich unless there’s butter on the outside. 

I say butter for ease of reference but I also mean that to include margarine and any other weird vegetable oil based spread (what the fuck is a stearate anyway?)

Putting the butter on the outside makes it taste better and it smells good while cooking as well.  I’m always looking for ways to add a little extra taste and one thing I really like to add to the butter on the outside is powdered/grated parmesan cheese.  This smells and tastes great and makes the outside go really crispy.  Awesome.

Now, of course, the “smells and tastes great” is only my opinion and it’s an opinion not shared by everybody.  Using parmesan in the workplace may well generate complaints of a “horrible stink”.  Like I give a shit.  Even stranger than people who don’t like the smell are people who do like the smell but complain anyway because “it’s making me hungry”.  Whatever, freako.  When did I become your mother?  Go eat something if you’re so fucking hungry and leave me the fuck alone.

That’s the sort of attitude I’d bring to a cooking show.  When I’m cooking a meal you’d best be speaking up early if you’re not fond of garlic, mushrooms and/or cheese because I tend to put shitloads of each of these into whatever I’m cooking.  Even if it doesn’t seem appropriate.

On many occasions I’ve brought food that I’ve made at home in to work and people have asked me for the recipe.  So I tell them something like it has mushrooms and garlic… then they ask me what quantities are involved.  How much garlic should I put in?  I dunno, how much do you like?  If I made some videos I could point the questioners in that direction when they ask, so they’d end up getting advice like this:

“OK, so put plenty of garlic in here.  There’s really no such thing as too much garlic.  Some people will disagree and say they can’t handle a lot of garlic.  You know what?  Fuck those people.”

14 Comments

Filed under Video Blogging, Work

14 responses to “Cooking with Mr Angry

  1. Cool idea, although you may find yourself acquiring respect for all those TV chefs when you discover how tricky it can be walking people through a recipe. If you’re prepared to risk suddenly respecting previously annoying celebrities then go for it!

    I’m not a bad cook myself, and I always end up having to try to make up names for shit I’ve cooked. (Not literal shit, obviously.) With such classics as “Courgettey, creamy stuffed pasta-y thing.” and “Curry made with leftover sausages and (borlotti) beans”. I should go into marketing or something.

  2. MrPete

    With you on the garlic, leave out the mushies.😉

  3. The Angry Chef? Simple, but to the point.

  4. Actually, there IS something that doesn’t go with garlic.

    My ex, bless his pointy little head, decided to bake some chocolate chip cookies for everyone and failed to notice (or perhaps didn’t care) that the baking sheet he used had been previously used and NOT washed.

    He brought out a heaping plate of fresh, warm cookies and everyone dug in with gusto, only to suddenly be overcome with a gag response by the overwhelming GARLIC flavor of the chocolate chip cookies.

    Yeah, the baking sheet had previously been used for garlic bread….go figure.

    It’s the only time I’ve ever seen an entire plate of chocolate chip cookies get tossed in the garbage.

    Don’t even get me started on the “Bacon wrapped Oreos”. His idea of the 4 food groups were: Beans, Biscuits, Bacon and Lard.

  5. Salamaat,
    i love mushroom and garlic…and have to try the butter on the outside thing. I never use measurements either, I just kinda taste my way into adding things until it tastes just right.

    I like the “angry chef” that would really suit you🙂

  6. bring on the cooking videos!

    no-goods who dislike garlic, cheese and chili (or, let’s face it, anything with flavour) can find something suitably bland to watch elsewhere

  7. Mr. Angry food vids from you would be great. Garlic all the way! I sprinkle garlic salt on the butter spread on the bread before toasting. Adds a nice flavor after toasting is complete when you eat.

    cinnkitty – lol! garlic chocolate chip cookies.

    I’m around Mr. Angry – I move 4000km in 4 days. OMG. I could use someone cooking for me right now.

  8. Massif: I’d only have respect for them if I was going to be professional about it – not much chance of that😉

    Pete: you can pick out the mushies

    Michelle: I deliver what I promise

    CinnKitty: I didn’t think I had to be so specific as to rule out garlic in sweets. There’s no accounting for some people!

    Maliha: I plan to offer way more tips!

    Vetti: I shall educate them by force.

    Jessica: If I could, I would cook you some meals to ease you long journey.

  9. Awah thanks!
    A friend brought me some sushi today while I was holding the moving back-east sale this afternoon.

    Do you cook Japanese cuisine? or Greek? Greek cuisine is based on garlic. Humous, YUMMY, and lamb chops.

  10. Anthony

    If you’re after some angry inspiration, you should check out Hell’s Kitchen, sort of a cross between the Biggest Loser and the Apprentice. Gordon Ramsey is not shy about telling people to fuck off. It’s on late on Tuesday nights from memory.

    Porchini mushrooms are great for pasta and risotto. You have to soak them in hot water before you use them (they’re dried), but the flavour and arome is awesome. Plus, you get the mushroom water to add to the sauce.

    Or truffles, but only on a special occasion (unless you’re loaded, of course!). Something simple, like linguini with a drizzle of olive oil, crushed garlic and some truffle shaved on top and stirred through. Just don’t do what my girlfriend did and drop a 500ml bottle of truffle oil in the shop….

  11. Jessica: my forte is more italian. Some mexican too.

    Anthony: Sounds upmarket for me🙂 I was planning on “this is how you cook a simple meal if you don’t know how to cook”

  12. mexican is my forte. bring on the garlic! and if they don’t like it???? in the neck with a garlic clove.

  13. Sounds like a great idea, especially as you’re a garlic and mushroom loving man like myself.

    Like Anthony says, check out some Gordon Ramsey vids if you can find them. He swears at people constantly and it’s funny as hell.

  14. Gordon Ramsay’s pretty funny, I see him sometimes on cable. I’d rather swear at people who aren’t there than try to belittle people who are actually next to me.

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