Fuck YouTube! Seriously.

I have decided YouTube is like an amazingly gifted athlete who is utterly unable to empathise with other humans.  This athlete is capable of doing things you didn’t think were possible prior to their arrival on the scene.  And they don’t just do it, they make it look effortless.  You feel carried along by them because they’re on your team.  You’re amazed at what you can accomplish with their help.

But every now and then they take a big shit right in your face. 

And this isn’t a one time event.  At regular intervals, they’ll totally fuck you over and won’t even respond when you ask “Why the fuck did you do that?!?!?!”  They might have a good reason for doing it.  After all, they operate on a higher plane than you.  How are you to know whether or not what they are doing is for the greater good?  Of course, they could tell you their reasons.  You’d pay attention to them if they told you because you owe them so much.

But they don’t say a fucking thing.

You have no way of knowing why they do these shitty things.  So you assume it’s because they don’t fucking care.  You’re some sort of insignificant bug to them.  So you’re still grateful for the good that they do but each time you’re treated like shit you get a little more resentful.  It gets to the point where pretty much every time you mention them it’s to say how fucked up they are.  And you spend a LOT of time thinking of ways to survive without them.

YouTube’s latest fuckups have been the same as their old fuckups.  I mean literally the same.  These problems have happened multiple times before when they’ve made “upgrades” and they’ll doubtless happen again multiple times in the future.  Gruntski pointed out to me the videos I’d embedded in this blog were doing weird things.  This was due to “improvements” YouTube made to their embedded video player.

Completely fucking unannounced improvements, mind you.  The addition of links to so-called “related videos” was obviously an attempt to get people to spend more time on YouTube and fair enough.  But some fucking communication would have been nice.  It’s the complete lack of communication from YouTube that drives me stark, raving mad.

So along with these upgrades came a slew of site performance problems: uploaded videos were taking ages to be available for viewing (one of mine took more than 24 hours), video statistics (view counts etc.) were utterly fucked and the one that bugged me most of all was the link to new videos from creators you subscribe to that usually appears on the home page was missing altogether (it’s back now).

The absurdity of YouTube’s continuing public relations hari-kiri is that the whole fucking site is built around the concept of communication by video and they never do this!  Why they choose to avoid this stunningly obvious method of communicating with users is completely beyond me.  And like I said before, when someone makes absolutely no effort to communicate with you when they’re treating you badly, it’s only natural to assume that this is because they don’t care about you.

I’ve had numerous invitations to join other video sharing sites like LiveVideo with the invitations always including flattery like “It’s really shitty that you’ve never been featured on YouTube, I bet if you joined site X you’d be featured in no time!”  It’s tempting and possibly true.  There are three main reasons why I haven’t dumped YouTube so far:

1. WordPress doesn’t support the embedding of videos from all sites.  I know it does support more than YouTube but it doesn’t seem to support the ones I’m most likely to defect to (like Revver).  Being able to post video to WordPress is very important to me.

2. I’m incredibly lazy.  I used to post to both YouTube and Revver but it didn’t seem worth the effort.  It would take more time than I’m willing to dedicate to develop a following on another site while maintaining my user base on YouTube.  I probably shouldn’t be so lazy but I am.  Regardless of the disbelief of the haters, I do have a full time day job as well.

3. YouTube still has the biggest audience.  By a massive margin.  The carrot of that huge potential audience is a powerful thing.  At least to shallow attention whores like me.

One more thing YouTube has in common with an elite sociopathic athlete is they don’t seem to realise that no matter how total their dominance feels today, it’s a fleeting thing.  History shows over and over again how businesses that were top of their field end up being skewered by their competition.  And the online world moves exponentially faster than the offline world.  YouTube could easily forestall their competition for at least a couple of years simply by treating their users better.

It remains to be seen whether or not they will.



Filed under YouTube

10 responses to “Fuck YouTube! Seriously.

  1. Rob

    Wasn’t Youtube in this state BEFORE Google took over? Then they improved it, speeds were excellent, now they’ve gone back to the bad ol’ days and it sucks ass again.

    It is typical Google though, huge faceless behemoth. I use(d) a lot of other Google services and I don’t ever remember getting a reply to an email, only one of those shitty automated ones.

    I guess it’s how they stay profitable, much the same as other online giants. The only way they keep making money is by buying up all the new ideas, and sites with good potential, like Youtube and Blogger, and using them for advertising.

    I like the Wikipedia method, although their implementation often sucks and there is little real community there. There MUST be common ground somewhere between startups with good ideas and communities, hemorrhaging cash with numerous bugs and slow servers, and the big companies, with fast servers and good developers whose sole interest is advertising and fuck the community.

    I don’t know…. I’m so close to leaving Youtube, I really hate these ongoing “improvements”. The only video’s I watch now are your’s and Mr. Safety’s.

    What happened to “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”?
    I don’t mind advertising but not when everything revolves around it, and the community suffers.

  2. i think their bug hunting ideal is “if its longer than single symbol typo dont fix it” its seems like they have their priorities bit off yesterday i saw your vid uploaded it showed up about 30 minutes behind renettos vid and quess what his vid was available 18 minutes after upload yours was 2 hours after upload.

  3. The question begs to be asked – have you tried talking to WordPress? About carrying other video sites, that is? Just curious. I’ve never tried contacting any of these behemoth corporations, so I’ve no clue, but it’s worth a shot.

    Hell, conglomeration is the way to go. Just look at Ma Bell, slowly dragging herself back together again, one company at a time. Deregulation? Ha! It’s a thing of that past. Soon…..ALL restaurants will be “Taco Bell” (name that movie!)

  4. Rob: I think it’s the “growth at all costs” that’s the problem. People rarely turn down more money in favour of retaining integrity. The more a site grows the more it loses its original identity. This is not always a bad thing but it’s inevitable because, well, people are shitheads and the more people you get the more shitheads you get.

    shadowshian: there’s definite inconsistencies in their policies.

    cinnkiitty: I’ve requested that feature from WordPress a couple of time. They’re actually comparatively responsive and occasionally add new support features. They have some good reasons (technical) for not supporting Revver but I still hope they’ll change their mind one day.

  5. Fundomunster

    WTF youtube, i tried several times to create an account and all i got was “Your Account is Permanetly Banned” ? How about you go up your anus you sterile inept fat muppets.

  6. That sounds more than a tad like you’d done something naughty.

  7. I put the website zolaenterprises.com as mine since that is the site I speak of here.
    That is nothing like youtube and it has much better videos even with chat and webcams both to be more interative. I am wondering why sites like this do not make it then you have pages like youtube with really dumb videos and rude people.
    I found your page under f youtube searches because I am very mad about youtube using all the bandwith online. I wish most sites like the one at On The Edge Ads Magazine would come out.

  8. It’s not really the lack of communication that I find insipidly offensive about YouTube, but rather the inherent lack of intelligent people on that Godforsaken site. Every video on YouTube is either a Rick Roll, a Barack Roll, a Reich Roll, a hoax video, or the results of poorly trained video piracy, which infuriates me to no end. Almost every video I see there also has a raging flame war going on between a pack of rabid tossers about the most superficial topics! Believe me, there are better ways to sodomize yourself than by going to YouTube.

  9. I’ll defer to you regarding self-sodomy. Not a topic I am well versed in.

  10. iPhone – Who needs YouTube?

    There are times when we need it, and the only thing why it’s a totally interactive experience – the virtual keyboard. What’s so cool about that? When you need it, it’s there when you need it. When you don’t, you’re on your own. I totally agree – the keyboard was a great job for the iPhone…

    …Although built-in solid keyboards on smartphones may be a bad idea, the YouTube app haunts horrible nightmares – much worse.

    Has Apple lost their minds with YouTube?

    With Apple and its partnership together with YouTube for creating the app – and worse – preinstalled on the iPhone (and iPod touch), the YouTube app is definitely (and I really really mean it. Seriously) the worst experience I’ve ever used on an iPhone. And overall, we don’t like it.

    The intergrated YouTube video technologies (Apple partnering together with YouTube) are not reliable. Chances are, there are serious compromises. Like being kicked out of the video with an ugly alert message. I don’t trust their intergrated technology.

    The old-TV-like icon is a riduculous icon for a YouTube app. They should use an appropriate “tube” logo for the icon. Overall, it gave not only the icon but also a bad look for myself.

    Without YouTube preinstalled on the iPhone (and iPod touch), Apple would save much resources that would save us little extra storage, and little extra time, especially reading to the terms.

    We really don’t want a YouTube app preinstalled on the iPhone. And we really don’t want Apple to partner together with YouTube to create a preinstalled app full of compromises. If we really want to enjoy YouTube on the iPhone, why can’t we have a standalone YouTube app where we can download it at the App Store? If the guys at YouTube really want to create an app, why can’t the guys at YouTube make their own standalone app for download at the App Store?

    Apple should have chosen a better idea for creating a Remote app for download at the App Store. Can’t YouTube do that too?

    Let’s hope what will happen next with the upcoming iPhone software version…

    Built-in keyboards on smartphones? Bad.
    Apple partnering together with YouTube to create a preinstalled app? Worse.

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