Laugh? I nearly shit my pants!

Hi everyone.  I normally reply to every comment but this tsunami of comments came in for my “Miracle diet pill” post while I was sleeping.  You crazy northern hemisphere folk.  Hopefully at least a few of you will stick around and read some of my other material.  God knows there’s enough of it to get through.

My alternative title for this post was “Pants-shittingly funny video.”  It was a close call.  I went with the title above because I thought it would be better search engine bait.  Remember that conversation we were having via comments about search engine terms CinnKitty?  Within a week I’ll be getting some major action from variations of “shit my pants”.  Oh yeah, some high class readership on the way to me.

Anyway, this is a video version of my earlier blog post that has proved so popular.  I intended to do this video as soon as I wrote the post but its popularity sealed the deal.  I often do video versions of my blog posts and in this case I definitely wanted to strike while the iron was hot.

I thought the post in question might be popular – after all, who doesn’t laugh at poo jokes?  This was actually one of the very few posts I have written where I was laughing as I wrote it.  I suspect that was as much from the source material (the diet pill website) as it was from any jokes I was writing.  I found it almost impossible to believe they could write such unintentionally funny material.

For a while I suspected that it was maybe only my sick mind that would find it so funny.  But the popularity of the post has proved you’re all a pack of sick little monkeys.  SO maybe you like the moving pictures too:


Go ahead and subscribe – you know you want to!
http://www.youtube.com/angryaussie
http://www.livevideo.com/AngryAussie

55 Comments

Filed under Video Blogging

55 responses to “Laugh? I nearly shit my pants!

  1. misstressm

    LMAO……the sad part, some of Americans are so desperate that they will carry their whole closet with them to work & and buy 12 months worth of pills.

  2. I LOVE all the pingbacks you are getting on this story. Especially when I see that some of them are from my friends who found your blog from me talking you up. See!! I *do* advertise you Mr. Angry.

    Where’s my T-shirt?? ;P

  3. Great stuff, my friend. We’re rolling you. Welcome to The800lbGorilla.com

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  5. QuakerOats

    Oh don’t pull that “American” bs on me. It’s women, women like you. So have fun shitting your pants to fit in those jeans.

  6. Thanks Mr. Angry! I’ve no doubt burned off some calories laughing , but will stick with diet and exercise…not likely to eat pizza for a while either

  7. misstressm: diet and exercise are way less hassle than this people but people don’t seem to realise that

    cinnkitty: It’s the support of my regulars that keeps me going! Thanks🙂

    GorillaGuys: Thanks fellahs! Although I think you might strike me from the list when you work out my politics😉 Maybe not though, you guys seem to have a great sense of humour.

    Quaker: They buyers do seem to be overwhelmingly women.

    vetti: I certainly burned of some calories laughing while reading the drug company website.

  8. Oh, believe me. We ain’t striking you, my man. Awesome stuff.

  9. wagi

    If you really want to lose weight just eat a tapeworm.

  10. Paul

    Most really fat people using this probably shit themselves anyway.

  11. They might as well have recommended one wear diapers. Funny stuff!

  12. Gorillaguys: You guys rock! Thanks!

    Wagi: I think I’ve seen that recommended somewhere.

    Paul: possibly true.

    tuttysan: I’m actually surprised that they didn’t recommend that.

    Moses: let’s form a tapeworm club!

  13. shit shit every where but no toilet in site

    This is too funny god I can only imagine how many people we are going to see in stores and things running to the rest rooms soon or lines forming to them while a oily substance leaks to the floor where thay are all standing!
    OMG this is too funny i am going to get out the video camara and weight near a store bath room and see if i can spot some people shitting there pants and then post it here or send it to you Mr. Angry!

  14. This is hilarious! Someone pick me off the floor!

  15. This stuff is the same stuff that was marketed in potato chips as Olestra.

    You’ll note of Olestra the familiar sounding “. . . causes gastrointestinal disturbances, which are sometimes severe, including diarrhea, fecal urgency, and more frequent and looser bowel movements.”

    What you might find most interesting was the fact that I used to work with a guy whose mother was one of the lead chemists and developers of Olestra. They worked on developing it for quite some time, but still, she told her son that under no circumstances should he EVER eat a product containing Olestra.

    Where can I send you a pizza and a bag of chips?

  16. Yeah, yeah.. Mr. Angry.. love and adore us regular readers.. I still want my T-Shirt! 🙂 Baby doll please, size Small or Medium(US), preferably white with the slogan: “Mr. Angry says – Cut that shit out!” ha..ha..ha..! 😉

  17. shit shit every where but no toilet in site

    LOL a chemist says that you should not use something like this dam! All i can say is SHIT lol! this is too funny yall I have never imagined i would see so many people being such morons in my life and i thought the main moron on earth right now was bush but i guess that was a big misunderstanding lol.

  18. un_bombero

    I used to take this drug, but the full dose when it was called xenecal!!! my prescription was 120 mg. Wow, my toilet looked like a pot full of pozole.(A mexican soup) Plus, having to wipe took about 25 sheets of toilet paper..i found the flusable moist wipes seemed to work a lot better….Happy squirts!!! un_bombero

  19. Sarah

    Who is buying this stuff? Seriously? Who is out there thinking that they can eat whatever they want because they’ll just squirt the fat out later? And whoever came up with the description “oil like that which is found on pizza” needs to be beaten with the skinny end of a fishing rod.

  20. I’m still laughing so hard that there are tears rolling down my face…I have just recently separated myself from the field of clinical medical research…and I have to say from my experience in medicine…the absolutely saddest thing about this pill that people are spending millions on…is that even with all the “crappy” (no pun intended) side effects…the average weight loss per year is only something like 8 pounds!!! 8 pounds….all that for less than a dress size! The quest for “Thinness” has definately his an all time low.

  21. LOL.

    I’ve added your video rant to my blog.

    I laughed so hard I soiled myself!!!

    Fid

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  23. Absolutely craptastic! Funny stuff. I just can’t believe how stupid people can be. What part of shitting yourself thin makes sense to anybody with even the slightest grasp on common sense?

    I’m packing around more than a healthy share of weight myself, but I’m not gonna start wearing a diaper to take it off.

    Thanks for the video, it made my day.

  24. Pingback: Interactive in Milwaukee » Blog Archives » Mr. Angry Rants on Alli (Stephen Colbert)

  25. Suroor: If I was there I would gladly pick you up😉

    Darshan: don’t freak me out man, I’m trying to build up my confidence to try pizza again.

    CinnKitty: That’s a good one considering my current fame☺

    Shitshit: lucky you have a chemist with enough integrity to say don’t use it

    unBombero: thanks for the region colour, mate.

    Sarah: people with serious issues are buying it.

    Carriebeansoul: sadly, this company is trading off all the people who want an “easy fix” – whether it works or not.

    Bob: I hope the vid make many people happy through your blog ☺

    Brian: I’m with you, I’ll take fat over incontinent any day

  26. liz and randy

    2 Haiku:

    What will boys prefer?

    Fat or thin with “oily spots.”

    My ass has problems.

    I shit in my pants.

    But I am one skinny bitch.

    Oh, I smell myself.

  27. Libid

    Good stuff:-)

  28. When George Bush realises that some people are shitting oil, their house are going to be invaded pretty bloody quick.

    If the CIA find out about you taking these pills just don’t answer a knock on the door, it will probably be a tomohawk missile.

  29. anon

    I’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and it even leaked onto the couch at one point!

  30. My Angry,

    I have to thank you for giving the biggest laugh I have had in a long time. The funny thing is my wife picked up one of the brochures at the pharmacy and everything you said is true!

  31. Liz and randy: thank you so much for that, those haiku were awesome!

    Libid: thanks!

    John: I tend to side with people who think this stuff is the alternative energy source of the future😉

    Anon: thanks for sharing

    Brad: it is scary that I didn’t have to exaggerate.

  32. shit shit every where but no toilet in site

    I still cant beleave that people are purchesing this “shit” This is too funny yesterday i sat at a local grocery store near the rest rooms and it was funny to watch at least 20 out of the 25 i seen go into the bath rooms where women and that number comes from about half an hour of survalence and at lease half of them where wairing black pants or dresses and i noted at least 5 of them looked to be AHH what is the word for it an oily mass dripping down the pants/skirts that was verry shinny and most of them left without checking out with there goods thay came to purchase lol and annother thing to note was that About 4 of the people running to the bath room had more ALLI in there cart with them ! what the hell is going on here lol have people just went shit crazy or something thay enjoy shitting so much that thay just cant get enuph of it thay have to induce it lol if thay wanted to do this why dont thay just go out and buy exlax ! lol

  33. this blog makes me laugh at the stupied idiots who would try that shit and make them take a liquid shit and fart one too. Haaaa! you’ve made my day by giving me the biggest laugh i’ve i had in a long time

  34. vicki

    I thought this was hilarious. I lost a good 5 lbs just laughing. I decided to check this out because I saw my coworkers being so secretive about some diet plan. I accidentally saw the bottle and heard them talk about starting when you can be close to the bathroom. They are always on some diet kick but this one takes the cake! I’m glad they didn’t share that secret with me. How can you work? I guess they will start early with buying depends.

  35. Dee

    Finally people who actually hate the ALLI poop pill.

    I have already avoided public bathrooms. Who knows whats on those seats now. What about the restaurants we go to. How many of these Alli uses farted in the actual seat you sat in after they used it.

    Pizza is off of my list too.

    Did anyone read the message boards on the Alli site. Some of these people think this pill is fabulous. I cannot believe what they write about what this pill does. Makes you shit alot, oily pants, afraid of sex, etc…………..

    I would rather be overweight and have sex and of course poop the normal way.
    I think this pill and the people who are taking it could be unsanitary for us normal people.

  36. GSK has done for US tourism what Al-Queda has failed to do. Ensure none of us want to go there is case we’re sat next to some fatso taking alli.

  37. Sorry, Dear, I absolutely had to link you. Your post was way too timely for me.

    Although I had to go through over a year of chemo hell and a stem cell transplant to get these lovely side effects. Oh wait, treatment effects.

    Good lord. I can’t believe people actually do this on purpose!

  38. …well, I personally believe that anyone who uses this drug, knowing the definite side-effects deserves to ruin thier expensive white pants. What happens if they are wearing a kilt? Has this drug been released in Scotland? Also, it is hilarious that the company recommends bringing a change of clothes, not pants so they are serious. When you shit oil to the point it ruins your whole outfit, it’s time to re-analyze your diet plan.

  39. …oh dear… I think this is a conspericy, crapping oil? Why can I see the US government using this to their advantage? lol.

    Certainly wont eat pizza for a very very long time now

  40. Animalaura

    Throughout the entire article -not once did they mention steatorrhea.
    I wonder why?? It is perfectly common medical terminology.

  41. I fat, and the first three months are inappropriate

  42. Cindy

    I love how there are all these opinions here and you have not tried it. I lost 15 lbs the first two weeks. 10 lbs the next two weeks and still losing. I had no “shitting” or “oil” leakage in the least. Two of my friends did this program with me and had NO side effects at all.
    And yes, Alli ‘does’ promote a healthier diet and excercise, but ‘that’ is part of the program. Alli is not just a bottle of pills…it is a program that encourages you along the way. It has a great support system and message forum to keep you going. And the pills WORK.

  43. Cindy

    But your rendition of your very strong opinion WAS hilarious.

  44. Cindy

    By the way Mr. “shit shit every where but no toilet in site”
    I have never heard a whopper of a lie like that one in my life. ….talk about ‘full of shit’
    That story is so far fetched, I assume you are a teenager with a wild imagination.
    …fucking idiot.

  45. Cindy

    By the way Mr. “shit shit every where but no toilet in site”
    I have never heard a whopper of a lie like that one in my life. ….talk about ‘full of shit’
    That story is so far fetched, I assume you are a teenager with a wild imagination.
    …friggin’ idiot.

  46. Brian

    Cindy, you sound intelligent, but you also sound like a spokesperson for that company. Maybe both your friends shit themselves but neither one admitted it.

  47. Brian: I think you are spot on about “Cindy” being a company hack. It’s fun trying to spot their propaganda in the comment threads.

  48. Great post, added to my list of blogs to check daily.🙂

  49. April E.

    You were the voice of common sense in this case. Seriously, who would pay to shit their pants?
    A+ vid

  50. no_shit_slick_for_me

    max 15g of fat per meal and you will not notice any effects

  51. Max 15 g of fat per meal and you don’t need the fucking pill you fucking idiot.

  52. I enjoy the loose dooky and farting.

  53. I can’t stop laughing! They’re marketing a pill that makes you shit oil. This is just too funny. If this is the “lower strength version” of the prescription drug Xenical, then I can imagine the hellish nightmare the people using that are going through. I wouldn’t leave the house!

    Thanks again for this post!

  54. Pamela

    I am on a strict diet and I use alli. I am not ashamed and nor have I messed myself, because I am on such a low fat diet. I have no mental problems, I just have an intense desire to loose the weight. I guess it depends on your lifestyle and different people’s bodies react in different ways, but I have had no ill side affects and I am happy to take alli. If your gonna eat a tonne of shit then your gonna get the runs! It makes sense. I lost 9lbs last week through dieting and the use of alli. Just thought i’d add that it’s not all bad. Because I take alli, it makes me look at what I am eating and think to myself, ‘Do I really want to suffer for that?’ I use it as a dieting aid, not just to shit out the fat from my diet. Besides, it only removes 25% from your system.

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