A simple misunderstanding

We live in troubled times. It’s a lucky thing I don’t have brown skin. If there was any chance of somebody suspecting I was Muslim then my habit of screaming “If you don’t leave me the fuck alone, people will start dying!” would get me into more trouble than it already does.
I had a simple misunderstanding with someone at work today that could easily have spiraled out of control. You know when you walk around a blind corner and almost bump into someone? The way you have a tendency to jump a little, do a little double-take as you realise there’s someone directly in your path?
I had that situation at work today but the woman involved went a bit over the top. She actually shrieked a little and clutched her heart as if she was having a heart attack. No, she wasn’t having a heart attack. Not to the best of my knowledge anyway. I’m not callous enough to mock a cow-orker for having a heart attack. OK, yes I am, but that isn’t what happened in this case.
I thought her reaction was a bit over the top.  After all, it wasn’t as if I was a crazed madman wielding a knife.  OK, I was actually carrying a knife.  But that isn’t the same as wielding.  And I have a headcold at moment.  So right at that moment I was wheezing and snorking a bit.  But still, she was weird.

If the knife had been bloodstained I could understand her reaction.  But the red stains on it were from the pie I had been slicing.  Definitely not blood.  And I obviously wasn’t planning to stab anybody.  I did stumble a little as I rounded the corner, so my arm… wavered a bit.  It might have looked a bit like a stabby-stabby motion.

All I’m saying is the troubles of these modern times have made people way too paranoid.  I mean, if we can’t stagger around the workplace, breathing heavily, making stabbing motions with big, sharp, red-stained knives then the terrorists have already won.



Filed under General

19 responses to “A simple misunderstanding

  1. These “Nervous Nellies” will be the death of us, I swear. Did she at least apologize for her over-reaction, for the emotional trauma she’d inflicted on you? No, I didn’t think so. The nerve. Wait, don’t tell me… she probably expected you to apologize for scaring her

  2. Methinks the Angry doth protest too much.

    Still, I bet they deserved it.

  3. kyklops: damn straight. Actually she didn’t do much at all apart from cower on the floor and gibber.

    Massif: Never guv’nor, i did nuffink, it was all a stitch up.

  4. dgarciaroger

    Didn’t she understand? She scared Mr Angry with her superiority complex. 🙂

  5. Dear Mr. Angry,

    We females, Sir, suffer from a terrible genetic curse that we have been trying to hide from men for years now. Sadly, it would seem that our efforts to hide our affliction have been in vain, as your blog has clearly revealed to us.

    Our curse is called Anatidaephobia, and if you suffered from this, you TOO would find yourself screaming and clutching at your heart when you walk around a blind corner and become startled.

    You have no idea how horrible it is to live with this each and every day!

    And now you know. 😉

  6. “I mean, if we can’t stagger around the workplace, breathing heavily, making stabbing motions with big, sharp, red-stained knives then the terrorists have already won.”

    Words of wisdom sir, words of wisdom.

    Just the other day I tried to make a similar point about carrying duct-tape, lubriderm, and some sleeping pills on my daily walk past the local grade school…

    I mean what kind of world do we live in when an insomniac with some damaged air ducts and dry skin gets mistaken for a pedophile!

  7. I think you failed to mention that the red stains on the knife were not just from any pie but a pie filled with the entrails of your last victim!

    I’m guessing of course. It is not like I’m some sort of psychic or something and that I have ESP and saw you baking the Larry pie. And it is not like you now have to track me down and kill me before I go to the police with the evidence or anything. Seriously…

  8. hehe you need a knife to frighten people. i just frighten local christians just by walking past them. imagine gloomy dark winter evening them imagine somewhat pale skinned big guy with somewhat long whitish hair and black jacket and jeans. the christians that i walked past looked quite frightened and i pulled conclusion that they were christian from stickkers on their car.

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  10. “For the emotional trauma she’d inflicted on you…”

    Holy Crap! Does this person even realise what kind of a person she is commenting upon?

  11. *am sorry… to busy laughing!* Love your posts!

  12. Voice of God

    You are so funny Mr Angry!

  13. here, here. I couldn’t agree more.

    you got a chuckle

  14. roger: I agree, it was he fault

    cinnkitty: thanks so much for illuminating this mystery for me 🙂

    wormwood: people always thing the worst!

    Michael: I hope you sleep with one eye open 😉

    shadow: some people are just really easy to scare

    opinionated: I think Kyklops knows me pretty well actually

    Insane: glad to bring you enjoyment!

    voice of god: I’m glad you think so

    criminy: always glad to provide chuckles 🙂

  15. Aww..come on Mr. Angry, did you at least Google what “Anatidaephobia” is? I figured you’d be the curious type of guy and check it out……. ;P

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  17. Vladimir

    This is awesome! 🙂

  18. cinkitty: I’m a Larson fan, I knew what it meant 😉

    Vlad: thanks!

  19. Vladimir

    On the other hand, she as well could react like this:

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