I like to think of my car as a four footed destroyer of stupidity. “Sent to strike down the unroadworthy” to quote a the Night Rider from Mad Max. I have had passengers question why I sound my horn so enthusiastically when some brain dead fuckwit cuts me off (for instance) or runs a give way sign. “Why not just let them go?” passengers often ask.
It’s education as far as I’m concerned. Not calling them to account for their stupidity is the same as rewarding stupidity in my book. Maybe they’ll wake up to themselves and stop doing stupid shit. If I let them get away with it, they’ll keep doing it. I could even be saving their life. I’m very selfless that way.
I bring this up because I had to let one go this morning. I have to drive about 45 minutes out into boodock suburbs for my current job. I’m sure it isn’t my imagination – the further I get out in the suburbs, the drivers get… slower. This normally gives me many opportunities to “educate” them.
But when I start to get close to work I ease off a bit. I don’t want to have conversations with cow-orkers along the lines of “Why was I behind you beeping for 90 seconds screaming GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD YOU FUCKING MORON WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?!?!? That wasn’t at you. That was at… someone else.”
So when some fucking tool backed out of a driveway right in front of me and then blocked two busy lanes while they did a three point turn, I let it go. It was only a few blocks from work and they were pointing in the direction of the office so I figured it wasn’t worth the risk.
Actually I’ve been easing of a bit in general lately. I’m a big believer in Murphy’s Law and seeing as I’m doing job interviews at the moment I don’t want to push my luck. It’s actually a recurring nightmare of mine that I abuse someone on the way to an interview and they turn out to be the interviewer. Talk about starting off on the back foot:
“Just now, when I said you were a fuckwit… I didn’t mean it. Oh, and when I followed it up by saying you were brain dead pond scum who shouldn’t be allowed to breathe, let alone drive… I didn’t mean that either. And the stuff I said about your mother? I meant that. C’mon, be fair, we both know she must have fucked some sort of farm animal to end up with you.”
Hey, if I’ve failed the interview before even starting I want to at least have a bit of fun.