I have angered God

God has spoken to me.  I used to think that people who claimed God spoke to them were crazy, or self-serving televangelists trying to swindle gullible people out of their money.  But now God has spoken to me so maybe those other people weren’t lying and/or deluded.

So what has God said to me?  A lot of things, but the divine communiques can be summarised as “You done fucked up son.  Now I’m going to fuck things up for you for a while.”  I wasn’t given a lot of specifics about how I’d fucked up, it was more a case of a cavalcade of punishments to make it clear I had displeased the creator.

Anyone who has been reading this blog will know about how I appear to have been blacklisted by Google.  I still don’t know what to do about that.  I haven’t been going on about it at length or doing particularly angry rants which may surprise some.  The reason for this is that it is rather important to me.  Most of my angry rants are actually about things I don’t care much about, done for comedic value.

This Google thing is quite disheartening.  A real kick in the balls actually.  The timing is appalling too because I was about to use the blog to publicise an upcoming event  but that’s impossible if I’m blacklisted.  Actually, I’ve done a little research that suggests I’m not technically blacklisted because my site shouldn’t show up at all if I was on a blacklist.  It’s just that for some reason I don’t show up anywhere on any of the search terms I used to be top for.  Whatever.  It’s still fucked.

Then I have a whole cavalcade of shit happening with my car that’s going to cost me about a thousand bucks to fix up.  I’ll spare you the details but let me say that I’m an innocent party in all of this.  If that old lady didn’t want to get hit she should have walked across the pedestrian crossing quicker.  I haven’t been helped by the fact that both her sons are cops.  Now I’m being persecuted.

I think it’s because I’m black*.

So why haven’t I lost my shit over this?  Well, to sound sappy for a minute, my partner and kids are a very big help in this area.  Without them I’d be in a far worse mood.  Second, there is some very exciting good stuff happening in my life at the moment too.  So good, it far outweighs the bad.  It’s still in the planning stages and I can’t say much more until some details are finalised.

Hopefully by mid-week the final arrangements will be confirmed and I can go public.  Here’s a hint in the meantime: there’s a reason I’ve been making videos promoting Melbourne lately.

Fo now, I’ll struggle manfully on.  I had been meaning to post more often for the last week but these various event had sucked the motivation out of me for a while.  Hopefully, this week I will be back to normal.

*NOTE: I’m not actually black.  But the various white supremacists and self-proclaimed nazis I have crossed paths with online have called me black, jewish, muslim, asian, lebanese and gay so I think that counts.  Plus I’ve been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto lately and the cops in that game persecute my character for being black.  And for all those car-jackings and drive-bys I do.



Filed under General Angriness

14 responses to “I have angered God

  1. // This Google thing is quite disheartening.
    Don’t be. See here
    Your’s is the first link that appears.

  2. One more point, I forgot, may be google is reducing the priority of wordpress blogs altogether – wordpress being their competitor for blogs 🙂

  3. Vladimir

    Have you, by any chance, seen the movie “High Strung”?

  4. Have you laid yourself prostrate before GOD and begged for forgiveness.

    I did a quick Google Search to try and help you out.
    Unless Google knows that I was doing that for you and gave some bogus information…..You don’t suppose….Nah! couldn’t be…..

  5. I’ll give anything a try right now 😉

  6. Umm.. Have you tried contacting Google support to find out what’s happened? It seems to obvious to ask at this point, but you never know.

  7. DOA

    I KNEW you were black! And you thought all that painting your hands and face white on your videos had us fooled…

  8. nomoregoatsoup

    Maybe somebody removed your google listing. I’ve re-submitted the main URL. See what happens 😐


  9. Massif: It’s hard to find out what Google support area will actually do anything about this

    DOA: My cover was bound to be blown sooner or later

    goatsoup: thanks!

  10. Shame on you for using Gods name ! Could not
    pick another word to use rather Than God Im hate you had this experience but using the Lord’s Name you went to far. We all are trying to lose weight but don’t blame God for the company drug ! Prayer is what you need, not a diet pill !

  11. Hi Missie!

    I spoke to god again after your message and he said you’re a bitch. I thought he was going a bit far but he wouldn’t stop. He said you were a sanctimonious skank and he was sick to fucking death of obnoxious hypocrites who claim to speak for him.

    Don’t take it too personally – he sounded like he’d been drinking. He’ll probably try to apologise for his behaviour tomorrow.

  12. “he sounded like he’d been drinking.”

    I fell out of my chair LMAO……

  13. I think you need to refine your anger and switch to Hitman.

  14. marr: I hear he hits the altar wine pretty hard some days

    stiletto: hmmm, the focused approach… that could work.

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