I used think that my problem was people. Everywhere I go, always with the people! People getting all up in my face. People messing with my shit. Life would be much more bearable without the people.
Then I saw the flaw in this theory. Some of my best friends are people. I do a fair approximation of being a people myself. I realised it wasn’t all people who were the problem. It’s the stupid people. And I think I know how they manage to be such a problem: we’re too nice to them.
Darwinism tells us these stupid motherfuckers should be dead. But we do our best to keep them safe. We protect them. I tell you, not actively punishing stupidity is the same thing as rewarding stupidity. It’s time to put a stop to this shit.
So yeah, that’s my first step. Remove all the warning labels. Most of these stupid bastards will be dead within the first twelve months.
18 responses to “I hate stupid people”
The warning on a packet of nuts always pisses me off. Glad I’m not the only one.
Oh, how strongly I agree. The other day, when I explained an assignment to a student for the 6th time only to hear him say, “I don’t get it,” I blurted out, “You’re the reason why shampoo comes with directions, aren’t you? Lather, rinse, repeat.” I should feel guilty but he didn’t even understand what I said.
“You’re the reason why shampoo comes with directions, aren’t you? Lather, rinse, repeat.”
Must be how my bizarre mind works, but I now have visions of morons standing in the shower with a bottle of shampoo in their hand saying “Lather, rinse” out loud and wondering why their hair still isn’t clean.
I’m sorry, but lather, rinse is fine, but if you really need to repeat, either you should wash your hair more often or you need a better shampoo.
Could they at least be used for boring jobs, like cleaning toilets or digging potatoes?
> Lather, rinse, repeat.
There’s a joke about a programmer who took that instruction literally and went into an infinite loop…
Dave: we all suffer because of stupid people
Liz: the ultimate fun – insulting an idiot without them realising it
Paul: Brilliant! If only they would look up into the shower flow as well they’d probably drown while they stand there slack-jawed
sam: don’t get in the way of profits
Vlad: you have to be careful with literal minded programmers
I say – Poke them with a stick.
It won’t make them any smarter, but…well, it’s just plain fun, isn’t it?
I agree. Stupid people smell.
Once I saw this sign saying, “Please keep limbs inside carriage. They are difficult to replace.” Definitely remove that; see what happens.
Vlad: I’m a programmer and I was wondering just how many times you had to repeat. I swear to God if I didn’t spend time around people my mind would end up like a computer…
dylan: I can see the fun in poking them with a stick
Wendy: replace it with a sign that says “stick your head out here to see something cool”
DOA: Too much time with computers is dangerous.
Stupid is a reletive point of view. Everybody will be stupid to somebody at somepoint in their life.
Dude!! We’ve had this discussion before.. you know “helmet” laws and “seat belt” laws and all those other “laws” that are created to keep the stupid people alive. I say… give them a fork and a live electrical socket at a young age and let God sort it out. ha..ha.ha… 🙂
xero: broadly true but there are some absolutes. As in some people are absolutely fucking stupid by any measure.
cinnkitty: Of course I was thinking about that previous discourse when I did this 🙂
Though I feel sorry for the train engineers, I wish they’d ban “Don’t Stop on Tracks” signs… if yer stoopid enuf to stop, I jes hope it’s before ya breed!
Sorry Diana…but they breed BEFORE the stop on the tracks. Then the mutant, idiot offspring live on the government cheese and peanut butter while I work my ass off to pay my taxes so that they can have food stamps. Augh!!!!
You do realize that in many cases really stupid or average people have extremely intelligent children? Genius does not beget genius, it’s a fluke.
Here’s another good one: Do not spray in eyes.
Also, Einstein was an inbred. I don’t support inbreeding, but I found it to be a bit interesting.
i tottaly agree with this stupid people hit i fell like i live in a house of all sorts of people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!