Wrong number fun

So the Angry Phone rings a little while ago (+61424 05 68 65 for those who want to try it) and the following conversation takes place:

ME: Hello?

CALLER: Shamir? (or something similar)

M: No, this isn’t Shamir.

C: Shamir?

M: No, you’ve called the wrong number.  This isn’t Shamir.

C: Oh… (mutter, mutter) Wrong number… (mutter, mutter – eventually they hang up.)

Disappointment set in for me at this point.  I’ve had some really enjoyable conversations with people that were previously unknown to me on the angry phone.  Actually, the most common scenario that plays out is silence on the other end.  I have found out from a few people that they never expected me to actually answer.  I don’t always but if I have the phone on and it’s convenient I’ll answer.

When I get the silent responses I usually make a couple of attempts to get the person to talk, saying things like “It’s really me, not voice mail.  It’s OK, you’re allowed to talk – that’s why I gave the number out.”  Then they hang up without saying anything.  It seems I’m too scary for some people to talk to, which I don’t understand.  Maybe I’m not the best judge.

Anyway, my disappointment was short lived because I got another call a minute later:

CALLER: Shamir?

ME: No, you clearly have the wrong number for Shamir.  This isn’t his phone.

C: Mutter, mutter, mutter (eventually they hang up again.)

Then, after a much smaller gap, the phone rings again.  I didn’t make a note of the caller’s number before but the number showing up on caller ID looks suspiciously familiar.

ME: Hello?

CALLER: Shamir?

M: Why is it so hard for you to accept you have the wrong number for Shamir?

C: (It sounds like they’re having a conversation with someone next to them, I can make out a few words.) Shamir… wrong number… you call… (Then they talk directly to me again) Is Shamir?

M: It isn’t Shamir and it’s never going to be Shamir no matter how many times you call! (after a little silence they hang up.)

I thought maybe this might finally send them on their way but about 30 seconds later they called again.

ME: Hello?

CALLER: Shamir?

M: Yes this is Shamir.

C: (after a pause) Speak to Shamir?

M: This is Shamir speaking now.  What do you want?

C: Who is this? (they sound dubious)

M: This is Shamir.  Why don’t you believe me?  You didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t Shamir, now you don’t believe me when I say I am Shamir.  Make up your mind!

C: Is Shamir there?

M: OK, you got me, I’m not Shamir but he is here.  He refuses to talk to you because he says he hates you.  He also says he’s going to punch you in the face next time he sees you.  Now piss off and stop calling this bloody number!

They haven’t called back since.



Filed under General Angriness

17 responses to “Wrong number fun

  1. Zany Maiden

    That is so god damn funny, I just laughed so hard I cried!

    Ya know people are going to call you asking for Shamir now, just because of this! 😉

    Shamir? lol

  2. DOA

    I was sorta expecting the final call to be “Hi, this is Shamir. Do I have any message?”

  3. Hello Dear and Respected,
    I hope you are fine and carrying on the great work you have been doing for the Pakistani side of Internet. I am Ghazala Khan from The Pakistani Spectator (TPS), We at TPS throw a candid look on everything happening in and for Pakistan. We are trying to contribute our humble share in the blogistan.

    We at TPS are carrying out a new series of interviews with the notable Pakistani bloggers, writers and web masters. In that regard, we would like to interview you, if you dont mind. Please send me your approval for your interview at ghazala.khi at gmail.com, so that I could send you the questions. We would be extremely grateful. We have done many interviews with many bloggers from Pakistan like Dr. Awab, Kashif Aziz, Fahd Mirza, Unaiza Nasim, Omer Alvi and host of others. We have also interviewed prominent figures like renowned writer Dr. Ayesha Siddiqa Agha, Dawn Columnist Urdsher Cowasjee and plethora of others.


    Ghazala Khan
    The Pakistani Spectator

  4. simon

    I get silent calls alot too, but they never say anything.
    Apparently your now a pakistani blogger mr a, i checked http://www.pakspectator.com and its a real site.

  5. Zany: I look forward to many calls for Shamir!

    DOA: I like that – I might use it.

    Khan: Thanks you for the respect. i can clearly see your message is spam because of the way you have picked me as a well known member of the Pakistani community. Or maybe this is just a joke seeing as anyone could look at on of the FUCKING VIDEOS on this blog to see just how Pakistani I am.

    Simon: I totally am. Such a legitimate site wouldn’t make a mistake.

  6. Seriously… I totally want to call you now and ask for Shamir… If only I had a phone.

  7. E0157H7

    I used to get calls for a lovely man that appeared to have some trouble with debts and relationships. Angry exes yelling at me, banks asking me if I spoke English (I have absolutely no accent) and so forth. It was like a little bit of the Jerry Springer show broke off and wedged itself in my phone. For anybody interested, I think the majority of “silent” calls are auto-dialers, but I can’t be sure.

  8. The same sort of thing happened to me once before

    I was outside playing with the dog and the phone rang, so i bolted inside to answer it, i got to the phone and the lady on the other line said:
    L: Hello, is Tim there?

    M: No Tim isn’t here, you must have the wrong number, sorry

    So about 5 minutes later the phone rings again

    L:Hello is Tim there?

    M: No, you must have the wrong number again Tim is not here

    So I hang up and go to the toilet…. Half way through taking a piss the phone rings again.

    L: Hi, is Tim there?
    [now at this point i was pretty pissed off, but still keeping calm]
    M: No! Tim is NOT here, you must have the wrong number…. AGAIN!

    I left the phone and then went outside to play with the dog again and 2 minutes later the phone rings, I slowly walk up to it, I pick it up and dont give the person time to say anything and I YELL.


    So the person on the other end says

    Other person: Jordan?
    I reply with

    M: Oh, hi mum…

  9. qiranger: the lack of phone would get in the way a little

    E0157H7: Those sound like fun calls!

    homer: Yeah, you have to be careful with that sort of thing 🙂

  10. Now I want to know just who this Shamir is. Sounds like an important chap.

  11. And he’s a close friend of mine now.

  12. Deathofbarney

    LMAO I can relate, we always have people calling for cabs here >.< that guy must of been pretty stupid, after you get the number wrong the second time anyone would get that its the WRONG number!
    haha keep up the good work
    ps I will be posting my first video within the next three days!

  13. I used to get wrong numbers for a Motel in one place I worked. That really sucked.

  14. Hilarious! I once got a call for Pam. When I said I wasn’t the caller called back and asked me to pick her up at the airport, even though she knew I was not Pam.


  15. You gotta give her points for trying.

  16. Aislinn

    I think I found Shamir. No kidding. I was trying to dial your number and hit a three by accident. Maybe the guy was Shamir, maybe not, but it is funny that I did get someone on the line that might have been a Shamir.

  17. Let him know he’s missing some calls 😉

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