Going commando

I’ve been riding to work lately.  I decided to take advantage of the fact that for the first time in ages I’m working within a practical biking distance from home.  As I’m grossly unfit that translates as about two suburbs or a half hour ride.  So I’ve been riding in when weather permits.  By “weather permits” I mean I’m a wuss and if it’s raining or looks like raining or has recently been raining I won’t ride my bike.  Work sucks enough without being cold and miserable when I get there.

I have a few reasons for biking it: health (hopefully gaining a little of), ecological benefits and the fact that although I only live 7km from work the fucked up public transport system means the trip takes at least 45 minutes most days.  I think I will dedicate a whole blog post to how fucked up the public transport system is.  So, I’m losing some weight, getting to work faster and feeling less stressed.  When cars don’t try to kill me (another whole blog post).

Anyway, I’m still experimenting with some aspects of the ride.  I take my work clothes in my backpack and there are shower facilities at work where I can get changed.  I’ve mixed and matched various pieces of work apparel to discover which ones survive being rolled up in my backpack best.  What I have learned is that I shouldn’t vary my behaviour too much because every fucking time I change something I forget something.

Today, I came up with a brilliant idea regarding my underwear.  I know this is a little intimate but I feel my audience is ready for it.  The decision was to not wear any while I was riding.  I have to change my sweaty jocks along with my other clothes when I get to work and I thought “Why bother?”  I don’t wear spandex when I ride so it isn’t as if I’d be putting the family jewels on show (the way people decide they have to start wearing fucking spandex as soon as they start riding a bike is worth another blog post as well.)  So I thought just wear trakky daks and change into undies along with my work clothes.

It made sense but that one change in behaviour fucked me up!  Because I wasn’t wearing underwear, I forgot to fucking packing any!  So I get to work and I’m forced to face the whole day commando-style!  And considering I’m wearing woollen suit pants, it’s an uncomfortable experience.  Besides the chafing, I hate the swinging in the breeze feeling.  So much so, I think I’m going out shopping for some underwear.

Man, I HATE freeballing.



Filed under General Angriness

18 responses to “Going commando

  1. Going commando in a suit sucks. Jeans are pretty good, as well as shorts. Take it from me. I don’t wear any underwear at home, but when I leave the house I usually put some on, unless it’s to walk the dog.

    Good for you for starting to bike. I’m not a biker but a runner, so I’d run that. How about stashing some clothes at work?

    That’s what other runners/bikers do. They bring their clothes to work once a week and then they don’t have to worry about it too much.

  2. “Besides the chafing”

    There is no besides the chafing, the chafing is the worst part. HA!

  3. Squinch

    Excersise..woot! I just couldn’t stand the cold of the winter morning without undies :S

  4. Kita

    similar thing happened to my husband last year, except he wasnt wearing a wool suit, just jeans and he forgot an extra pair of jeans and underwear so he went commando in a wet pair of pants..looked like he wet himself…he walked funny for a couple days too.
    Put up post it notes near where you put things together to remind yourself….it may help

  5. Might I recommend a pair of ExOfficio boxer briefs? You can change at the office.. hell even wash them at the office and they’d be dry by the time you got off work.

  6. I normally reserve posts or comments with video links to my own blog – but this is too appropriate not to post:


    It is 13 seconds into the clip before the connection starts.

  7. Lawl. So i popped into the site by typing “I’m better than you” in Google (reasons are a blog post away). Liked the space you were coming from and then came to this one.

    I’m a former Ironman and I’ve been freeballing since the 6th grade – just got used to it. And i totally got a great uproaring laugh at this post.

    Thanks for that.

  8. Al

    Your in Melbourne aren’t you?
    FreeBalling in Melbourne…
    You are Brave 😯

  9. Jennifer

    You must do a “my commute to work” video on the bike. Duct tape that camera to the handlebars and give us the full experience. Just please keep the camera pointed up! Or, better yet, do a helmet cam version of your commute.

  10. Range: You’re suggesting I bring 5 sets of clothes to work? Or wear the same clothes for 5 days? Neith option is very appealing.

    TT: I concur!

    Squinch: I soon warm up

    Kita: I haven’t had such a bad experience yet. Post it notes sounds like a good idea.

    Qiranger: that sounds like a viable idea.

    Jed: You are a freeballing champion!

    Al: Yes I am

    Jennifer: I have a device call a GorillaPod that I will use to attach the camera to the handlebars.

  11. SpookyET

    Hahahaha! How dare you whine about a 7Km commute, you snobby bastard? I drive 150Km roudtrip. I’ve got reasons to whine. You don’t. I could walk those 7Km.

  12. 150km is just crazy time

  13. Warren

    I know this is late, but I’m just finding the post and want to put in my 2 cents.

    Absolutely love freeballin’, and have been doing so for years. Only times I don’t: wearing light-colored pants or working out in the yard. Otherwise, if you can’t see it, I’m not wearing it.

    Loved the post!

  14. Andrew

    You just have to go commando more often , and get used to it over time. I do everything commando. Underwear sucks.

  15. Pingback: Survey: Would You Wear Your Spouse’s Dirty Underwear? : Web Watch | Web Gangsta

  16. Wally

    I haven’t worn underwear in 40 years. I don’t care if you can see “it” or not. Women have gone bra-less for years, or even if they wear a bra you can still see their nipples. Why can’t I show what god gave me? I was born without underwear on just like women were born bra-less. I say let it all hang in the breeze. The world might finally look at things that are really important instead of trying to dictate what “should” be!

  17. I can suggest padded cycling underwear. You dont need to wear the spandex, but bike seats really are not good for you. I think if you want to be able to get hard in your 50s, should wear the padding… although I know your commute is only a few minutes, and this may not be so important in this case. Then just pack some boxers for work.

    In response to the comments, I can’t think of any women who go out without bras, although bare breasts are not a hygiene issue anyways… apples and oranges here. But I don’t think anyone really cares if you are hanging loose anyways… it is good to have the airflow, but boxers are good ventilation. You can wash your pants everyday, or wear fresh underwear.

  18. Matt

    I am going commando today

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