Looking through job ads sometimes depresses me because of the way they commonly spout mumbo-jumbo jargon as if it actually means something. It leaves me wanting to grab the next recruiter who uses the phrase “leverage core competencies” and leverage their core competencies straight down their fucking throat.
But sometimes the job ads make me laugh. Usually because I have a very juvenile sense of humour. Case in point: today I saw an ad for a Process Improvement Specialist in a government department. This caught my eye for a few reasons. First, it’s the type of work I do. Second, it was a one year contract with the government that sounded like a complete boondoggle. Hide away in some massive bureaucracy and charge massive consultant fees for a year. Payday!
But most importantly, the acronym for the job title was PIS. Did I mention the part about me being juvenile? I wondered if I’d be able to resist saying in a job interview that the job sounded like a piece of piss?
But if I was going to interview, I’d need to come up with the right jargon. Government departments love their jargon. I considered saying that I thought the role of the Process Improvement Specialist would be to Facilitate the Adoption of Revolutionary Thinking in the department. But they probably spend all their time PIS-FARTing around already and don’t need my help for that.
I also cogitated that the PIS might promote Widespread Enterprise Application Knowledge. But that sounded a bit PIS-WEAK. I’m sure somebody can help me with some other ideas.