My new career as a public speaker

I am seriously working on developing a career change and moving into public speaking – specifically on IT and new media related topics.  I picture myself as being the “funny guy” they use to close IT conferences.  I’ve been thinking about this because

(a) I seem to have more first hand knowledge than most people I see presenting, and

(b) I’m a far better speaker than most people I see

And I want some of the money these people are making, dammit!  I want to be flown around the world to talk and be treated like I’m an expert!  Because I’m shallow that way.  I already have some presentation ideas I’m working on:

  • You’re stupid – what to do about it (for management conferences)
  • Project management – why it’s bollocks
  • IT staff – lazy, overpaid slackers or priceless diamonds you should cherish forever?
  • Why the latest internet fad is pointless but you should follow it anyway
  • And a presentation I’d love to give to the music and/or movie business: “You are evil, rapacious scum and your customers will eventually drag you into the street and burn you at the stake”

I’m looking forward to this new career.

14 Comments

Filed under Work

14 responses to “My new career as a public speaker

  1. The more I think of you as a public speaker the more I like this idea. But don’t wear your mask.

    • Wendy, I have learned from previous attempts at standup that the maks scares the shit out of people in a public setting. I no longer wear it for any public performance🙂

  2. Don’t forget the popular next step – Train lots of students to, allow them to work in your stead and just take a cut from their profits without even leaving your house.

    If those money-making workshops can do it, so can you.

  3. Angry: Here a tip. Do no put down your audience. Instead of,

    “You’re stupid – what to do about it.”

    say,

    “You’re intelligent – and how you can realized it.”

    You do not educate a child by saying that they are stupid.

  4. custador

    Welcome back, AA🙂

  5. Very cool. When I had my personal business back in the States, I knew someone that woke up one day and did something similar. He now is flown around the world to speak on marketing issues.

    Wish you all the best, mate.

  6. Maldris

    Personally I like the approach from negativity, it will allow you to put a whole new spin on things and that can seriously help things, and just coz the title is so negative doesn’t mean all the content is equally negative. Just be careful with the project management one you could make some enemies with that one. lol.

    Best of luck and if I end up working full time in IT perhaps I’ll be privileged to one of your speeches one day.

  7. ChocFan: The more I can get other people to do my work the better!

    Alan: You’re spoiling my fun!

    Custador; Thanks!

    Steve: I seriously think i could do very well at this

    Maldris: The really negative stuff was a joke but it could work from a humour perspective

  8. o~o pressing my body guard uniform.😀

  9. There’s a Job being advertized in Canberra. You should go for it.

    POSITION VACANT:
    Federal Communications Minister

    Essential Requirements:

    1/ Basic literacy and numeracy
    2/ Good listening skills
    3/ Ability to handle complex policy issues
    4/ Ability to stand up for the public interest

    Desirable Additional Skills

    1/ Basic knoweldge of communications technology
    2/ A flair for communication
    3/ Basic blogging skills

    NOTE: This postion has become unexpectedly vacant due to the current Minister’s abysmal end-of-term report – see
    http://sydwalker.info/blog/2008/12/08/stephen-conroy’s-end-of-term-report/

  10. Ik think you can do it, There is need for people like you by conferences.
    But woul you happy with this job?

  11. NatashaWind7

    Well I feel late on coming to your site but any way.. I think the public speaking thing is a great idea you are very funny and I think alot of people would enjoy you.. P.S. you should come to Michigan if you come to the states😀

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