How to tell someone you don’t give a fuck

It seems I have to spend an inordinate amount of time telling people online that I don’t give a fuck about their worthless dribbling. So I’m trying to come up with creative ways to tell them. Sure, I love the simplicity of “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” but I also like variety.

So far I’ve come up with:

  • I’ve checked my “things to do” list. Your mum is right at the top but giving a fuck about you just isn’t there
  • NASA sent a deep space probe to the planet Giveafuckaboutyou and confirmed that I wasn’t there
  • Your web search “times I give a fuck about you” returned no results. Did you mean “times I don’t give a fuck about you?”
  • 404 File not found. You apparently thought you’d find me giving a fuck about you. You were wrong. You could try the following – Find someone else who gives a fuck about you; grow the fuck up; just fuck off
  • Today’s lesson is titled “I don’t give a fuck about you”. Tomorrow’s lesson is the same as today’s
  • Wanting you to fuck off and giving a fuck about you are not the same thing. So fuck off

And for those who like visual aids, I produced this Venn diagram on GraphJam:

Venn Diagram

Venn Diagram


Feel free to make your own contributions 🙂


Filed under Charts & Graphs, General Angriness

35 responses to “How to tell someone you don’t give a fuck

  1. Tubbo & Dubba Tubba

    Hey Mr. Furious (I think that names fits you better — when I think of an “angry” person, I think of a grumpy old hermit. You surpass that.).

    I was just wondering if you’re still planning on doing those Bo diary things. Shoot me a comment if you have time.


  2. Yes, I am doing Bo’s Diary – I have published entries up until the end of April 1939 so far

  3. Nick

    Nice use of the 404 – I approve!

  4. Skins T

    *snicker* Those are really good, Angry XD I might have to pinch some in the future.

    Also, there was a little icon I found once… I can’t remember where it is, but it had a windows loading box and it said “Attempting to give a damn” “damn not given”

    It was an animated gif. I think you would have liked it XD

  5. I’m a little old school so I tend to stick with the tried and true. Like:

    “You seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck.”

    Gentle, but firm. What more could you ask of an insult? For face to face encounters here’s an all-time favorite:

    [Rummaging through pockets] “I think I’ve got a quarter here somewhere… Yeah, here it is. Why don’t you take that and go call someone who gives a fuck?”

    Oh, and just so you know, I don’t give a fuck if you don’t give a fuck about my comment. Etc.

  6. From the Hugh Grant school of fuck offs:

    “Erm, errr, well, err… It’s like this… Erm, look… I, er, well… I’m struggling to find the correct form of, erm, words, as it were…
    (contd on p1057)

    (contd from p39)
    …I, erm… You see… Oh, look: just fuck off.”


  7. ashley

    hay im 19 from melbourne n tha outa suberbs calld mount evelyn n i did a leagle grafitti mural n theres a big thing going on about it it all crap if u ask me hav a look at this local news paper artical n say wat u think im in london at the moment so i havnt been able 2 hav my say yet id like it if u did sumthing on it n got back 2 me it would stick it 2 tha guy thanx heaps……………

  8. Aislinn Lujan

    One of my favorite ways to show how much I care 😉

  9. jon latchford

    To juvenile internet warriors a straight out “fuck off you cunt” is always a disarmer, the psychotic directness makes their cocks shrivel up.

    Older twats usually respond to the slower, mildly argumentative approach debating in a way that feigns interest.
    Then when you’re bored stick them with a brusque “up yours fuck-face you’re just a boring twat”.

  10. bre

    this website really helped me.

  11. Loki

    You seem a little dull today. Let’s do a brain exersice. A light switch is on, using process of elimination what is the only other position it could be in?
    ( they awnser off)
    Yes. That is the general direction I wish you to fuck.

  12. Yasvanspuks

    fuck it…coz i dont give a free fuck…it has a charge baby viza….lol

  13. OH,Hold on. Let me find my box of FUCKS. Okay here it is. OH LOOK. ITS EMPTY, it appears they’ve robbed me of all the fucks I give.

  14. hahaha those are awesome….

  15. When I give a fuck about somethin, I will insert a “give a fuck token” in the persons ass to show my approval or an y interest at all. …If you digaround in YOUR ass for as long as you want but won’t find one because i DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK!!!! But at least you got your finger up your ass

  16. J.R

    “I don’t give a fuck what you do. You can go fuck yourself so deep you poke your eye out from the inside. Then go suck a cock so hard it pops back in.”

  17. kmmhoog

    I googled who gives a fuck. I wasnt in the search results.

  18. kmmhoog

    Knock knock
    Whos there?
    Someone gives a fuck?
    Someone gives a fuck? Who?
    Not me

  19. If i had a pocket full of Fucks, I wouldnt Give you any.

  20. eddy

    Oh, I must have missed the fucks givin’ day this year.

  21. Bruce

    Why did the chicken cross the road
    Because he left his fuck on the other side of the street when you started complaining.

  22. Bruce

    Shhhh…..did you here that? no!? well im surprised you can’t hear the sound of millions not giving a fuck…

  23. friky

    Can somebody come lick my fuck?
    cause it gives a fuck!!!

  24. Dylan

    Catch it!! Catch it!! It flew off. Awww man…. There went my last flying fuck.

  25. Dylan

    Whats 8×0?
    * let them answer*
    Thats how much i give a fuck.

  26. Ninja

    Make ‘lost dog’ posters for your will to give a fuck. Hand them out to the people that have issues you don’t give a fuck about.


  27. Good one. Thankfully, this helped me find the fact that I’m Out of Fucks to give!

  28. *looks around room*
    Oh sorry I was looking for a FUCK TO GIVE!!!!

  29. Fixcon

    Have a look on my field where i grow my fucks, gaze upon it and thou shall see that it is barren.

    Stay classy!

  30. IFGAF

    Lmaooo….to anybody who thinks you’re an asshole& just mad at the world..fuck em.I think you’re hilarious and right on point!!! Because there are certain people who just don’t get the fucken point that you really don’t care what they do…and still run their cocksucker.Carry’re funny as shit 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  31. Jayy

    Oh look, fucks to give! One, two, three– aw, they flew away.

  32. Bob

    Please send me on a boat to fish for all the fucks I don’t give

  33. Somebody

    A quantum super computer calculate to a billion light years till the end of time couldn’t counted the fuck I do not give

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