This is essentially a script I will be using for a YouTube video. It will be done by my long haired bogan character, Daz. So you have to imagine it being delivered in my bogan voice. This was suggested by one of my Twitter followers (yay Twitter!) and is a reaction to some of the white Australians who are tying themselves in knots justifying how a blackface performance isn’t racist. It’s an attempt to get them to wake up to themselves.
It probably won’t work, but fuck ‘em. Hopefully it’s funny as well.
So what I want to talk to you about today is why the blackface sketch on Hey Hey it’s Saturday wasn’t racist. First, with so many white people saying it isn’t racist to black people, I don’t know how there could be any doubt. It’s as if people are suggesting there’s some sort of history of white people saying they know what’s best for black fellahs while they’re actually fucking them over. That just doesn’t make sense.
If people were hypocrites like that you’d see plenty of cases. Like all those conservative religious leaders and political types with their anti-gay, pro-morality talk. If they were hypocrites you’d see heaps of cases where they were caught having anonymous gay sex in public toilets, or using church money to pay for male prostitutes and crack cocaine in hotel rooms, or having sex with underage kiddies. That’s crazy talk.
So the way I see it, we’ve got one group of people who say you’re not being racist against black people unless you’re wearing a Klan hood and burning a cross and another group you’re still being racist if you do something that’s obnoxiously offensive even if you’re too fucking ignorant to know how racist it is.
All I’ve got to say to people who reckon you can be racist through ignorance is: are you shitting me? That’s a big fucking call. You actually want people to think? You want people to consider someone who exists outside their tiny little self centred bubble of awareness? Good luck with that.
Have you seen how people are? It’s like they’re living in this tiny little bubble and nothing exists outside the bubble. If something comes close enough to them that it gets inside the bubble they might see it for that one moment. But only if it’s right in front of them. And then it’s only for as long as it stays there. As soon as it’s outside the bubble again they’ve forgotten it ever existed.
But I guess if you put it right in front of someone and said whether you know it or not, blackface has a long history of being racist mockery of black people, it’s offensive to black people and doing it in ignorance doesn’t mean it isn’t racist, it means you’re ignorant – I guess that would make them see what’s wrong with blackface, yeah? Unless it doesn’t.
To be fair, I think if someone says over and over and over again that they aren’t racist that proves they aren’t racist, no matter what their actions are. What sort of crazy world would it be if people were judged by what they actually did rather than what they said they did? I’ve seen enough politicians and loudmouths on TV to know this is how it works. And what’s wrong with that, I say.
It’s as if some people are saying that shitting all over someone who’s in a weaker position than you is a bad thing. So long as you say you’re not being offensive while you’re fucking them over and humiliating them, how can you be doing anything wrong? And if you can get one non-white person to agree then that proves you aren’t being racist.
But it’s important to use the racial rule the right way. You see, one black person saying that black face isn’t racist means it definitely isn’t racist. And I’ve seen heaps of anonymous people online who swear their best friend is black and they said blackface definitely isn’t racist. How could you possibly need more proof than an unverifiable comment made anonymously on the internet?
But if a million black people say black face is racist then they just need to get over it. If a million white people say black face is racist they just don’t get the joke. Or, to avoid confusion, if white people say they aren’t racist then they aren’t racist, no matter what’s going on.
Look, I know this is a confusing topic so Uncle Daz will make it simple for you. If you’re confused on the topic of race relations, don’t ask someone on the receiving end because they’ll be upset and they won’t be thinking clearly. Ask the nice, objective white person who says it isn’t racist because they’re balanced enough to see the big picture. Don’t listen to white people who say it is racist because they’re just being PC and they need to lighten up a bit. But if you can find one non-white person who says the white people aren’t being racist then definitely listen to them no matter how many non-white people tell you you’re racist as fuck.
I hope that’s cleared things up.