I was out driving with my daughter the other day and there was the usual displays of idiocy all around me. Anyone who’s ever driven with me will know I tend to get a bit colourful with my language and like to share my opinion with other drivers (and bike riders and pedestrians) about their shortcomings.
Given that I had my 15 year old daughter in the car I decided to moderate my language a little so when a particularly inbred looking freak decided to step right in front of me rather than, I don’t know, wait until the tonne of motorised moving metal wasn’t likely to fucking crush him like he so richly deserved.
All I managed to come out with was “Get out of my way, you… unattractive person.” I didn’t even shout. My daughter found this hilarious and laughed hysterically. I think this was more about how incongruous and unexpected it was rather than being actually funny. Later she was telling her friends about it online and they seemed to find it hilarious as well.
So if you’re on the streets of Melbourne and some teenage girls say “Get out of my way you unattractive person” I”m sorry about that. It seems like it’s a bit of a thing now. I decided to commemorate it with this image: