When I look around and see the abuse of women that’s become common on internet forums, the media, politics and popular culture it makes me sick. It’s reached the stage where the only thing I want to say to rights deniers, rape apologists, victim blamers, slut shamers and outright misogynists is shut the fuck up!
And to anyone who says “oh no, you need to engage in constructive dialogue,” I say “Fuck that shit!” I know who I’m talking about and these people are not capable of constructive engagement. They lie and say they are when they have no intention of listening to any differing viewpoints. Or they pretend to but all they are interested in doing is mansplaining how a woman’s actual life experience is irrelevant next to their all encompassing wisdom. Or they’re actually too fucking stupid to understand they do not have a fucking clue what they’re on about.
Whatever the case, for anyone who’s genuinely ready for intelligent discourse there are people out there who are more intelligent, more experienced, more eloquent and more patient than me who have it covered. Today I’m all about the catharsis. I’m sick of you fuckers and you can all shut the fuck up.
Let’s get the obvious culprits out of the way first. The following are variations of the bullshit spouted every day in response to rape:
“She asked for it.”
“She wasn’t really raped.”
“Was it a legitimate rape?”
“It isn’t rape if…”
“Why didn’t she…”
“She shouldn’t have…”
If you have ever said anything like that just shut the fuck up! You have nothing to contribute, you’re a fucking moron and until you get something vaguely approaching a clue you need to shut the fuck up.
Here’s a tip: take the shit that’s obviously blocking your ears when it comes to listening to women’s issues and stuff it in your mouth. That way, while we’re all getting a break from listening to your shit you might actually manage to hear the truth about what women have to put up with every single day.
And a quick aside to the men who wholeheartedly condemn rape and say how disgusted they are by rapists but then can’t hold back from making judgements on victims of rape. “She shouldn’t have dressed like that.” “Why did she drink so much?” “Why was she walking alone at night?” “What did she expect when she’d been dancing like that?” “Why did she lead him on?” YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM!
You are not helping by telling women what they should and shouldn’t do. All you are doing is making excuses for rapists! There is only one way to stop rape and that is if men stop raping. All this victim blaming does is illustrate that deep down, you think women are asking for it. Of course it’s never a bad idea for everyone to take safety precautions but the truth is women are not safe no matter what they do. They’re not safe out on the town at night, they’re not safe during the day, they’re not safe in a taxi, they’re not safe with people they know, they’re not safe at work and they’re not safe in their own home.
There is only ever one person to blame in a rape and that’s the rapist. No ifs, no buts, the rapist is always 100% at fault. NOBODY deserves to be raped.
And if you’re the type who wants to pipe up with “men also get raped,” or “men also suffer physical abuse at the hands of women,” could you try shutting the fuck up for five seconds? Would it be OK with you if the endemic victimisation and abuse of women could be discussed without you demanding the spotlight be focused on you? In case you’re too stupid to understand, bringing this up doesn’t come across as you saying “here is an important topic that also needs to be discussed.” It comes across as “rape isn’t as big a deal as you say and I’m not comfortable with a discussion unless I dictate the terms of what’s being discussed.” So shut the fuck up.
Rape and violence against men perpetrated by a woman is a real and serious issue. But how about we have one conversation at a time rather than you going “yeah, yeah but let’s talk about me.” If that’s too much for you then just shut the fuck up. You’re not worth bothering with.
The simple statistic is that one in three women will be the target of some sort of sexual assault. So anyone who finds themselves unable to resist blaming the victim, saying it wouldn’t have happened if they had done something different needs to consider that. This will happen to someone you know and should care about. Unless you are nothing more than a vile, contemptible sack of shit, someone you would do anything to protect will be the target of sexual assault. Your friend. Your sister. Your mother, Your daughter. Your partner.
So long as there is anyone saying what women should and shouldn’t do to avoid rape rather than focusing on why men shouldn’t rape, the problem will remain. Nobody should ever have to justify why they didn’t deserve to be raped, no matter what the circumstances. The culture that fosters this mentality is telling rapists they can get away with it and telling women it happened because they deserved it.
And if that’s OK with you, you can just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!